How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Ryan LCSW Your Own Question
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Ryan LCSW is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My son Mitchell age 8 has just been put on report at school.

This answer was rated:

My son Mitchell age 8 has just been put on report at school. He is a very angry boy for some reason ,has a terrible temper and lashes out at anyone who he feels annoys him.

Our family is a loving and caring family , Mitchell is a very talented footballer and an exceptional sportsperson for his age winning many medals and trophies but argues all the time about homework and whilst he can do most of the work he is very lazy and dislikes schoolwork but loves the sports side.
He is a good looking boy with a fabulous personality when he is not angry and is a very lucky boy as we are a well healed family and he has all the IT gadgets he wants along with very loving and doting grandparents who spoil him .
We are very concerned about him and wonder if we need to see a child psychologist to discuss where we go from here.

Michelle ( Mum)
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

I'm sorry to hear about your son's anger problems, he obviously comes from a very loving family. It sounds like he is a great boy in a lot of ways, and considering his many successes in other areas, I would anticipate that he will eventually be able to overcome these problems. It is not uncommon for exceptional young athletes to start to feel entitled, lash out, and to struggle with things that they don't enjoy, such as school work. In some ways he is probably extremely well adjusted and intelligent, but it also sounds like he lacks some impulse control and self discipline.

It's good to hear that removing the TV and stopping his football training for a week worked. Despite the fact that he reverted, that approach generally does eventually start to work if you are able to be firm, consistant, and stick with it. I know you mentioned that he has all of the IT gadgets that he wants, which is fine, however these are also things that you can remove if he continues to be defiant. Once you start removing things as consequences on a regular basis, it is possible that he may get more defiant before he improves. However he will start to learn the overall lesson that he does not get to have the rewards in life if he does not do his work and treat people respectfully. A lot of time threats of removing him from school or taking certain things away won't work until you actually do it and he sees that you are serious. While you may not have to resort to actions so drastic, you may have to take something away from him that matters to him in that moment as opposed to saying what you will take away. From what you described, it sounds like you are on the right track, and I would encourage you to stay strong and stick to that method.

If you are at your wits end or have been down this road many times before, I would certainly recommend having him meet with a child psychologist. These types of problems can occur for many reasons, and a child psychologist should be able to help you get to the bottom of this, as well as give you a better understanding how to help Mitchell after having met with him. From what you described, I would not assume that Mitchell has any serious problems, and there is a very high liklihood that with the right support and approach he will get through this phase.

I definitely wish you and your son the best with all of this. If there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

Ryan LCSW and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Related Mental Health Questions