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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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I often forget what i've said in an argument or discussion.

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I often forget what i've said in an argument or discussion. My boyfriend is getting frustrated at me because I just can't recall what i've said to him, even if i felt very strongly about an issue at the time- a few hours later I forget. I also suffer from panic attacks and general anxiety but I am on medication. How do i overcome this? help!
Thanks for your question. My name is ***** ***** I'd like to help you out.

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through with these problems with your memory. It does sound like a very frustrating situation. From what you've described there are a couple things that could be contributing to this problem.

Anxiety and stress are one of the most common reasons for problems with memory. If this is the case in your situation, then it would make sense that during particularly high periods of stress, such as an argument or heated discussion, that this would make it even more difficult for you to recall and remember things. In terms of overcoming this, it may help to consider when this problem got worse for you, and whether it coincides with any major changes in your life or sources of stress so that you can start to resolve those issues. It is good that you are on medication to manage your anxiety, but it is also important that you are also working on this problem in counselling or taking additional measures to resolve your anxiety on your own so that it starts to improve and you are not dependant on the medication. In most cases, once your anxiety levels improve, you will start to find a drastic improvement in your memory.

Another possibility is that your anxiety medication is having an effect on your memory. This is a common side effect of some anxiety medications, and you may find that with a medication adjustment of your dosage or the type of medication, that you see a big difference in your memory. Again, think back to when this problem started. If it started to get worse around the same time that you started the medication, it's certainly possible that there is a connection there. Knowing that, it would be important to meet with the person who prescribed the medication for you so that you can discuss this with them.

After reading your question, those would generally be the most common reasons that you would experience this problem. It's easy to feel like you are losing your mind when this happens, but most people find that their memory returns once they have a better handle on their anxiety and medication. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you. I feel this has been an issue for a long time but has recently started getting worse as my panic attacks have changed to also include general anxiety (i've had panic attacks for 13 years and general anxiety (diagnosed) for just over a year)
I think renewing counselling would be the way to go. I;ve had CBT in the past, but nothing recently. I will give this a shot and see if I can gain some new coping methods.
Can you help me on a way to advise my boyfriend that i'm not being deliberately dismissive? He feels that there is no point in even trying to resolve arguments right now.

You're welcome to print out a copy of this and show it to your boyfriend. Obviously your intentions are good if you are coming here and trying to resolve this issue, and you also have a very legitimate explanation for this problem that has nothing to do with being deliberatly dismissive. Stress and anxiety have a very profound effect on memory, especially in particularly stressful situations, so you are not alone in experiencing this. I can understand how your boyfriend would be frustrated, but in some ways he is also going to have to trust you that your intentions are good and that you are not lying to him. I would hope that if he sees that you are willing to go to counselling, that he would understand that you are very serious about working on this problem and overcoming it. Hang in there and good luck with everything.


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