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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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Dear Dr. Keane,I am sure other families have this, when

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Dear Dr. Keane,I am sure other families have this, when someone returns back home and all is well, but then I’d asked if someone minded closing the door behind them as it was cold. I got a whole lot of grief from my sibling, who wasn’t even part of my request. I know he’s the favourite in the family and is seen to do well in everything, so how he is at times doesn't matter to anyone, except me. Apparently, according to my parents it is all my fault and they are now sure that I must be partly to blame that there are situations where people aren’t always too nice, such as at writers group. I am trying to ignore that and trying not to hurt because I am looking forward to Christmas. I don't want things to end up becoming frosty or having an argument. We have relatives arriving for Christmas next week. Just so you know, I'm not jealous of my brother, actually on the whole quite proud of him, even though it's recently come to light that my own mother doesn't think I'll acheive too much more than what I have. Any advice would be useful. Apart from this one incident family life is fine. It's just grating on me a bit. I know I have more questions to ask you, but for just now I want to take this opportunity to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and I truly hope that it is a very good one for everyone. I know that this, compared to last year’s should be better for us too. Again, I am very glad that you are still going to be here and still answer my questions. I still feel your support and advice helps a lot and even though I do pay you, I still feel it’s kind of you to give a bit of time to chat and to answer my posts. Happy Christmas!


My name is ***** ***** I am the Moderator for this topic. Dr. Keane is not available right now, but I have sent her a message to follow up with you here, when she comes back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience!


Hi, siblings...what you are describing is typical banter. The best thing to do in these situations is not to allow them to be more than a comment. Use humor to diffuse the tension if you can, don't allow yourself to be drawn into an extended conversation and don't get involved in playing the blame game. Simply, don't engage. Validate you hear them and move on. At a later time you can tell your parents that their comment made you feel sad and you'd appreciate it if they didn't say things like that to you. That is standing up for yourself and let it end there. Just enjoy the holidays, focus on the good things and ignore the negatives, you know how to do that. Have a Merry Christmas.
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
Dr. Keane and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi, Dr. Keane. just out of interest, do you think that it might be that my parents are right and I'm not. Also, yes I don't get involved in blame games and do know and try to stand up for myself, thanks to your guidance. I don't think my parents like that too much when it's them I stand up to. If I engage, they don't like it, if I don't or decide to just walk away they don't like that either. Anyway, you're right, I am going to enjoy this last week of work and the holidays when they come, and will ignore all negatives so that things aren't spoiled. I am also going to wait a bit to stand up for myself towards my parents, wait until the timing feels right, got a few things to sort out with them which I plan to do bit by bit I think and try to do it as sensibly and as reasonably as possible. Thank you for your Christmas wishes.

Hi, I will be online tomorrow and we can hopefully chat. Going to lose my charge on computer and don't have my charger with me.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi, I'm online and left a post so that we can chat if we are online at the same time.