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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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Ive been married for 7yrs. Im 28 with a 5yr.old and 3yr.

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I've been married for 7yrs. I'm 28 with a 5yr.old and 3yr. old. My husband has always been quite non-responsive to me. I feel I have made every effort to let him know my needs and wants in all aspects of our life together.I've read books, sought counceling for myself and began a journey of personal enlightenment. My husband demonstrates more and more traits of his father who is alcoholic and treats his wife terribly. I have no interest in continuing a contentious marriage. My husband now claims he wishes to change but I feel that it's too little too late. Everything he does annoys me and as much as I wish I could I don't have the feelings of love for him that I used to. My question is.....once a relationship gets to this point, can it ever be repaired? If so How? I don't want my children to suffer a divorce but I also don't want them to live in an unhappy home. My husband is a good father and loves our children. Talking just seems to go in circles. We sought marriage counseling at one point but the counselor wanted me to commit to the marriage at any cost and I'm not willing to vow to stay in the relationship if the dynamics of our marriage remain the same. Each point I concede puts us right back where we were. Your thoughts are appreciated. Thank you.

It sounds like you know the answer to your questions but you don't want to hurt others. There comes a time when you just have to put yourself first. Everyone else will adjust if you focus on your long term happiness as well as theirs. Children will of course want a happy home with both parents but sometimes that means a happy home with one parents if to preserve their happiness. They wouldn't want you to be unhappy! They just fear the change. You too have to find your happiness and act on this. If you have reached a point where this can't be repaired then therapy isn't the answer. Marriage counseling is always available for those interested in fixing a relationship but not if you know that you heart isn't in this. Counseling can change the dynamics but it can't fix a broken heart. Decide if there is no way back to a relationship conducive to your happiness and then act! Before you act on what other's want, act on what you want.

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