Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

I'm a 39 year old man. I have a serious issue. Haven't been

Hi there, I'm a 39...

Hi there, I'm a 39 year old man. I have a serious issue. Haven't been able to aks my general practioner or specialist to this issue so I hope you can help. My elder brother 11 years my senior is causing me considerable distress which I haven't been able to discuss with my family (a elder sister and mother). He keeps distressing me with shouting and offensive words due to innocent situations which are not my fault. I'm worried by his actions and all my efforts to my family and him seem to benefit with no avail due to extremely tempermental actions. I respect he's elder etc etc and my dutie in my family but I haven't been able to discuss this with a psyche or anybody for a long time. I take 5 mg cipralex my self due to the stresses and strains in life and am stable generally or almost all the time. I feel he's trying to bring on anxiety attacks in situations that require patience and my patience is running outdue to his snappy manners. He bosses every situation about and shouts at me when these situations are out of my control. Please help/advise me. Whats his problem? And am I potentiating these situations. I haven't come across any body like this in my sphere with this attitude. C'ant ask my g.p as he is biased towards my family members as its a problem with me as I take meds (cipralex) which confuses the situation. Any ideas what this sibbling temperment may be?

Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 18 minutes by:
12/8/2012
TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your brother may have a personality issue. Yelling at you and trying to boss you around is not respecting you, it's hurting you instead, which is putting his needs before yours. It also sounds like he is unable to handle his own emotions, so he takes them out on you (and maybe others).

People who are negative tend to be difficult to be around because they affect how you feel about things. And if they take the negativity further and act out in harmful ways (toxic behavior), then you can begin to feel stressed, upset and anxious about being around them. Their behavior can sometimes be considered a Personality disorder in Psychology. Here is a link to help you see how they relate:

http://www.nmha.org/go/information/get-info/personality-disorders

Toxic people can include family, co workers and even friends or neighbors. Being around them feels draining and unsettling. Their issues can be the result of mental illness or past abuse, where they learned to cope with the loss of love and care by adapting their behavior to get attention.

There are different types of toxic behavior. Some people feel they know everything and everyone else does not, some criticize and predict doom and gloom with every situation and others are dramatic, making a big deal out of everything. They can also focus a lot on themselves, making you feel insignificant and bothersome. Some are emotionally draining, needing your help with everything.

One of the best ways to deal with toxic people is to try to eliminate them from your life, but if you cannot avoid them completely, as is the case with family like your brother, try reducing your contact as much as possible. Avoid contact unless you must be in the same place. When he talks with you, offer short, neutral responses. If he tries to rope you into an emotional situation, have a neutral response ready like, "Sorry you feel that way" no matter what they say to you. Repeat as needed until he loses interest and leaves. And keep in mind, he may be your elder but that does not give him permission to hurt you.

The only way to cope with toxic people is to reduce contact as much as you can. Unfortunately, everyone at one time or another must deal with people who act out. It helps to seek out others who are not toxic and develop good relationships so you can have a balance in your life.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified
TherapistMarryAnn and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Thankyou. for your discerning response. I didn't know these facts before and I'll try these steps from now on and reducing contact. Thankyou : )

You're welcome! It is not easy to deal with a family member that treats you poorly. It can bring up all kinds of emotions and you can easily feel overstressed. Do your best to take care of yourself- relax, eat well, sleep well and talk to someone about how you feel. It can help you cope with your stress level.

Kate

TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified
TherapistMarryAnn and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask TherapistMarryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
5,860 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

TherapistMarryAnn is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

5,860 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
Can stress in the workplace cause indigestion, stomach upset
Can stress in the workplace cause indigestion, stomach upset and bloating? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
What would you recommend to someone with a bad anxiety
Hi, what would you recommend to someone with a bad anxiety disorder, 25 years old, 134 lbs, who keeps worrying about fainting if he doens't... eat yet another meal? Driving and walking has become hard… read more
Nancy
Nancy
Psychotherapist
MS, PhD can.
492 satisfied customers
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work hours
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work long hours sometimes 15 a day. I'm starting to have what I think are panic stacks. What do I do? … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I have generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks at
I have generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks at times. For the most part I have improved a great deal through BCT and other lifestyle changes. I had it terrible after I quit smoking for abou… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
OKMH1212211 I have an extreme medically diagnosed anxiety
OKMH1212211 Hello. I have an extreme medically diagnosed anxiety disorder. Recently, it's been getting worse. Everything makes me anxious and I have panic attacks regularly. I am allergic to all SSRIs… read more
Dr. Ravoof
Dr. Ravoof
Doctoral Degree
1,880 satisfied customers
I would like to know if it is possible for anxiety to cause
Hello,I would like to know if it is possible for anxiety to cause bladderproblems like urinary retention and bladder overactivity. Like if you fear it and you are constantly conscious regarding it, it… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
5,860 satisfied customers
I have severe anxiety about my health and my child's I'm on
I have severe anxiety about my health and my child's I'm on Zoloft what else can I do to stop these catastrophic thoughts… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
OKMH115211 My daughter struggles with anxiety depression
OKMH115211 My daughter struggles with anxiety depression OCD. She has tried numerous medications without any luck. She is at a new inpatient facility and her psychiatrist put her on zyprexa and Prozac… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I struggle with severe anxiety and depression and self love
i struggle with severe anxiety and depression and self love and self esteem and self confidene issues. i need help … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I've had anxiety due to trauma... I've had anxiety due to
Hello, I've had anxiety due to trauma... Hello, I've had anxiety due to trauma in the city I lived in, I moved out to a different city, I accidentally spoke to somebody associated with the trauma , in… read more
Vakul Aren
Vakul Aren
Consultant Physician
Post graduation (Liverpool, U.K.)
3,906 satisfied customers
I've been experiencing a lot of depression and anxiety after
second opinion] Hello!I've been experiencing a lot of depression and anxiety after a health diagnosis. I am constantly paranoid that something else more serious may be wrong with me. Constantly readin… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I experience a lot of Generalized chronic term anxiety and
I experience a lot of Generalized chronic long term anxiety and it pains my heart and chest and surrounding areas a lot and legs and arms numbness and tingling which drains me out daytime drowzyness all day and coffee and teas don't help anymore … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
OKMH925100 Is it possible to treat panic disorder/anxiety
OKMH925100 Hi! Is it possible to treat panic disorder/anxiety disorder without medication?? I'm in my mid-thirties and just started having panic attacks after a very stressful past 4 years (I thought … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I I have extreme anxiety especially social anxiety I over
I I have extreme anxiety especially social anxiety I over worry about everything and I have PTSD from being stabbed and assaulted I've been prescribed Xanax for years and I got up to 2 mg which was wo… read more
Vakul Aren
Vakul Aren
Consultant Physician
Post graduation (Liverpool, U.K.)
3,906 satisfied customers
I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting
Hi,I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting relationship, and I need to make sense of it. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is an angry guy by nature. I think he's a bit narci… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I am recently divorced, working a stressful job, have over
I am recently divorced, working a stressful job, have over an hour drive each way to work in rush hour traffic, and worry a lot about things to the point of not having an appetite. I cycle to try to a… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
I HAVE ANXIETY DRIVING MY TRACTOR TRAILER.HAVE TRIED ANXIETY
I HAVE ANXIETY DRIVING MY TRACTOR TRAILER.HAVE TRIED ANXIETY BUSPAR,LEXAPRO,CYMBALTAL.NONE HELP.BUT MADE SITUATION WORSE.BUT XANAX WORKS.NO SIDE EFFECTS AT ALL.HOW CAN I LEGALLY GET PRESCRIPTION FOR X… read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
Im struggling with anxiety, I started having anxiety about
I started having anxiety about 12 years ago after going through a divorce and then becoming self employed. However the frequency of my anxiety and strong attacks are happening more frequently. … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x