Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It is very encouraging that you are reaching out for help right now, which is the best indication that you can feel better. Anytime you reach out and share what you feel (no matter how you do it), it is a positive sign.
It sounds like your first therapy experience was not a good one. That can be discouraging. It sometimes happens that you see a therapist who is not a good match. Because of that, I encourage you to try again. It can help a lot to try to find someone through a referral. Ask your doctor, friends, family etc to help you find someone. Or you can search on line. Many therapists will describe their perspective of therapy so you can get an idea of what they are like before you call. Also, here is a link to help you find a good therapist:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freudian-sip/201102/how-find-the-best-therapist-you
As you described your symptoms, it sounds like you may have depression.
Depression is characterized by feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, lack of energy or motivation, sometimes thoughts of death and/or suicide and trouble concentrating. It is common to feel there is no hope and no way out.
Motivation is a very difficult symptom of depression. It often keeps people from helping themselves and reaching out to others. But support and self help are vital in helping you overcome depression. Consider support groups, either on line or in person. People who are experiencing the same symptoms as you are can offer invaluable support, ideas and companionship to help you feel better. Also, working on your depression at home can supplement your therapy or other treatment. Here are resources to help you get started:http://psychcentral.com/resources/Depression/Support_Groups/http://depression.supportgroups.com/http://www.nami.org/http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
Once you are able to reach out, you will start to feel better. Let others support you and offer help. You do not have to do this alone.
Also, you can work on your self esteem through self help along with therapy. Here are some resources to help:
Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem: The Proven Action-Oriented Approach to Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence by Nathaniel Branden
I hope this has helped you,
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