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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years. We have a

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I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years. We have a 3 month old son. We have not had sex since I was about 8 months pregnant. For a long time I havent felt the desire to have sex. He has been complaining that I should want to be with him and I dont know how to explain to him why Im never in the mood. Even before I got pregnant we had this issue. He was unemployeed throughout my entire pregnancy and it made me think less of him. I also think it made me feel less FOR him. I believe a man should do anything to provide for his family. He is now working, however, I still feel no sexual attraction to him. He is very kind and a good father. He is just lazy and lacks motivation and direction in his life. I feel that I support him more than he supports us. I want to make our relationship work for my son. But Im not sure if I can get back to the place we used to be. I dont know if this feeling is normal or if Im just not truly in love with him anymore. I love him, but Its not a passionate love like Ive had in past relationships. I cheated on him once over a year ago. Ive never told him and I regret it everyday, even though our relationship is suffering. Please help me figure out what is the right thing to do.
It is very normal to feel less sexual because of reasons other than sex. Women are emotional creatures and often will feel less sexual because of reasons going on in the relationship. Your intense feeling that he is not contributing to the support of the feeling may be playing itself out in the bedroom. it is often typical to transfer feelings of anger and resentment to sex. Because we can control sex, we sometimes take negative feelings and experience them in sex. Avoiding will not help resolving this issue. This problem requires frequent communication. You have to be totally honest and talk about this. It is the only way to communicate how you feel and eliminate projecting this onto sex. Even though he is working the resentment can linger. Have a long talk with him about how you feel and see if sex improves
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