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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist and RN
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  35 years experience counseling children and families
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I have a Masters Degree, a beautiful son, a loving wife, I

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I have a Masters Degree, a beautiful son, a loving wife, I know I am a smart guy - but I have been unemployed for almost 4 years, and am paralyzed by anxiety when dealing with "bosses". What is wrong with me? I feel useless.
Hello and thank you for consulting Just Answer,

I would ike to try to help but need more information.
Do you have anxiety in any other social situations?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I have anxiety when interacting with my wife's father-in-law. He really doesn't like me , but my wife has assured me that he will warm up to me once I am meaningfully employed.

I also have problems with my father's new wife. But the anxiety itself is not as pronounced as when dealing with bosses or supervisors.

I used to be anxious in a lot of other social situations, but the subscriptions drugs I am taking have taken the edge off.

One last question...what were social situations like in your school years?.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

In elementary school... terrible. I was bullied viciously. Moreover, the teachers never believed me when I would go to them for help, since it was often my word against the words of many. I was terrified of my father, he was quite abusive until much later on in life.

Once I was in highschool and my parents divorced, I learned that staying under the radar was a good way for me to go. In highschool everyone liked me and I was friends with just about everyone. I just kept quiet and made a few jokes here and there, it was all-in-all a good experience.

My father and I have sinced reconciled.

There are a couple of possibilities. It is probable that the bullying you received from peers and father were traumatic to you. So now in adult life, persons in authority or those who may be critical, trigger these past emotions of anxiety. This is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The best treatment for this is EMDR which is a type on psychotherapy. The therapist helps the client examine and change their thoughts in order to change the feelings. Here is a website that explains it and lists therapists by location (Canada is included).

There is another possibility. You may suffer from a social anxiety disorder known as Asperger Syndrome. A person with AS has the social anxiety and other peculiar characteristics such as obsessive interests and behaviors, quirky movements and speech, and rigid thinking. Children with AS are often subjected to severe bullying due to their quirkiness.

Here is a website for you to explore this possibility:

This is a Canadian website so that if any of this sounds familiar to you, you can find resources in Canada.

I hope this is helpful but be sure to let me know if you need anything more. I am about to retire but will check in tomorrow if I miss you tonight.

Warm regards
Dr. Bonnie and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks for the information.

I will consult with my regular physician and bring up these possibilities, and then write you a response. of luck to you. Please ACCEPT answer so far. But feel free to come back to no extra charge.