How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. Olsen Your Own Question
Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Olsen is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My ex had most of the philias and I'm trying to get over

This answer was rated:

My ex had most of the philias and I'm trying to get over all.
Hi there
Thank you for writing in here.
Could you explain your situation a little more?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I just found out a lot of things I never knew and it was very traumatic. It's been years but I still have depression about the deception and betrayal of trust. He was a professional person and misused his power in odd ways. I hold more guilt than he ever has. He left me for a woman who worked with me several years at our office. Her husband died from a motorcycle accident and she inherited huge sum of money and so she suddenly was a great "deal". I just feel stuck. My son has HIV, my daughter Lupus, the other two are fine-but I'm scared and don't share that with anyone. I cut off friends and just see my kids and grandchild. My psychiatrist had me on Zoloft and clonazepam but she moved to Denver and I didn't bond with the next Dr. So I'm off meds!
Hi there
Thank you for your reply.
It sounds like you experienced your partner's betrayal and deception.
It's very traumatic that someone you loved and trusted betray your trust and leave for another person due to financial advantage.
Also, you stated your children have serious health problems. Your son has HIV and your daughter has Lupus.
You must have been very worried about their physical health.
You went through a LOT.
Do you have a support system in your city? Do you get support from your family and friends in this difficult time?
It sounds like your doctor moved to another city.
Are you seeing your new doctor every month?
I would advise you to see a psychotherapist to express and process your feelings and thoughts and get advice and support WEEKLY. A combination of psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy are considered to be effective to treat Depression. Cognitive-behvaior therapy (CBT) and/or Grief counseling may work for your condition.
You may ask your doctor for a psychologist/psychotherapist that you can work with weekly. Or you may call your insurance company and get a list of providers (licensed psychologists or psychotherapists) in your area.
Or, you can search a licensed psychologist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to ( and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as Depression or Loss/Grief. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she has the specialty. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that you want to work with – Male or female? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you can see it as an informational meeting. You can ask any question and negotiate psychotherapy fee.
If you have no health insurance, you may call The United Way toll free # 211 (Dial 2-1-1)to find the community mental health centers in your area in which you can get counseling even without health insurance.
Additionally, you may benefit from having a support group for women in your area. To find a group therapy or a support group for self, contact a local hospital or a clinic by asking if they offer a group for men. If you like to find a support group online, check Mental Health America website section ( - Find a group in your area.
Also, a heart-healthy diet like Omega 3 fatty acid may improve your brain functioning and mood.
Physical activity increases blood flow to your whole body, including your brain. This may help improve your mood.
In addition, yoga, biofeedback, acupuncture, and massage therapy may be helpful to improve your mood.
Please let me know if you have more questions.
All the best,
Dr. Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you