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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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My four year old told his dad tonight he wants to kill other

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My four year old told his dad tonight he wants to kill other boys his age. He's very sensitive and doesn't like the boys in his class because they are aggressive, he gets scared easily and doesn't like loud noises or kids that are loud. High anxiety little guy. He's never said anything like this to me but on more than one occasion has said shocking things like this to his dad. Should we be concerned?
Hi there
Thank you for writing in here.
It sounds like your four year old really doesn't like these boys' behavior in his class.
He may be very stressed from their aggressive behavior.
His stress level is worrisome.
He may need to learn how to cope with their behavior appropriately effectively.
If these boys are annoying him, he may need to know how to handle them.
You may ask his teacher how he is doing in class first.
It's very important for you parents to listen to his feelings, be empathetic to him,
and teach him how to deal with others' aggressive behavior.
Perhaps, he may need help from his teacher when his peers act out aggression.
I"ll pause here and await your response.
I"ll get off online soon and come back tomorrow.
Best regards,
Dr. Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Is it normal tho to be this serious? He never says anything like this to me, just his dad. Is he just trying to get a shock out of his dad? Our house is a calm environment with no violence no tv violence at all...where would he come up with this? It's concerning!
Hi there
Thank you for your reply.
Your son may have heard these words from these boys.
It's common for children of that age to use words that they hear from peers.
Yes, it's not a good way to express anger.
But, four year olds don't really mean it when they say they want to kill someone.
He shouldn't use these words.
Perhaps, he can say that I don't like their behavior and I want them to stop doing that instead.
I am concerned about your son's feelings if these boys are bothering him in class.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I spoke with his teacher today and she said he's very quiet and the other boys are loud, he plays by himself a lot or with the girls because they are quiet. He also told his dad that he wants to cut his lips off, what the heck is going on with him?! He's so sweet and empathetic I have a hard time believing he would be so different around his dad. He's REALLY clingy to me and everyone says he's such a Mommy's boy. He cried for 2 hours the other morning when I had to go to work. Broke my heart hearing him say that he is missing me so bad in his heart he can't stand it. None of my friends boys are like this???

Hi there I"ll be back with my answer tonight.

Hi there
Thank you for your reply.
It sounds like your son may be anxious around these boys.
He may be vulnerable to social anxiety as he can't be relaxed around these boys. You stated he cried for 2 hours the other morning when you had to go to work.
He may be falling into childhood depression and anxiety.
You and his father may have to increase amount of the time you spend with your son. He may need lots of emotional support and fun time with his parents. Also, he may need to learn social skills via a social skills group for kids of his age run by a licensed psychotherapist.

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