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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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Can a 19 year old female who has a history of physical, emotional

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Can a 19 year old female who has a history of physical, emotional and verbal abuse make a healthy decision to enter into a same sex relationship? If she initiated it, does that mean it was something that she truly wanted? She has since gone into a long-term relationship with a man. The lesbian encounter was just that an encounter, one that she regrets ever having and is having a very difficult time dealing with.
Thank you for writing in JustAnswer.
Let me ask you a few questions first.
Has she had physical, emotional and verbal abuse from men or boys?
In general, how's she doing in school and home?
Please let me know by clicking on “Reply” and I will then craft my response.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm Regards,

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

The abuse was from an alcoholic mother, school is going great--no outside activities, working part-time while in school. The female relationship involves a 35 year old woman

Hi there
Thank you for your reply.
It sounds like this 19 year old girl experienced physical, emotional and verbal abuse from her alcoholic mother before.
She is functioning well in school and work.
There is possibility that her past trauma may have contributed to her sexual identity and confusion.
Like many teenagers of her age, she may be "exploring" her sexual identity. She may have experimented with the 35 year old woman. She may be sexually confused or may be attracted to this older woman as she has deep issues with her own mother.
She may benefit from working with a psychotherapist to heal from her past trauma first before she can have a healthy relationship with anyone.
I'll pause here and await your response.
Best regards,
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you.. I know this girl also cuts on herself and repeatly says that she hates herself and she knows that the female relationsip is wrong (according to how she was brought up and her religious beliefs) She says she feels guilty that this happened and doesnt' accept herself becasue of it. She's a nice girl, would help anyone and doesn't abuse alcohol or drugs.....her appearnce is always that of being fine and happy, but she has told me inside she is so depressed. Is this even possible?

Hi there,
Thank you for your reply.
So, she has cut herself. She says she hates herself.
Clearly, she is suffering from depression. I've worked with teenage girls who cut self. These girls cut self to manage big feelings and/or punish self.
I think she needs help. Her depression and self-hatred has to do with her past trauma.
She needs healing from her trauma (abuse from her alcoholic mother)before she makes a healthy decision about a relationship.
Let me know if you have any questions.
Dr. Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you