My ex and I have been separated for 3 years, while we were together he cheated on me, he lied and I discovered he was a full blown narcissist who cannot think of any other persons needs but his own. We separated because he was unable to be the husband and father me and my sons needed, his desires, agenda, plans etc.. ALWAYS came before any of us and when we needed him, it was always an inconvenience to him. after 3 years, he ofcourse has not changed, hes antisocial, and puts himself out there on dating websites and gets a few dates here and there that have never lasted longer than 3 months. He's alone 90% of the time, has his sons 20 hours a week. He goes to shows, sports games with me and boys, does not celebrate holidays with us or birthdays for boys, BUT we have sex like 6 times a year and its absolutely amazing. I still love him but have come to terms that he is not what a husband and father should be or what me and my boys need. I date on and off, leaving no attachments to my "dates" and he does the same. More so than not, he tells me he hates me, wishes I would die and the biggest mistake he's ever made was meeting me... but then he makes love to me... I and my sons have made a great life without "daddy" home and he does not ask for more than the 1 day a week he is scheduled to be with his boys. Why does he tell me how horrible he hates me, treats me like a stranger on the street more often than not, and then makes love to me "passionately" couple times a year???? I'm soooo confused!! I really enjoy the sex we have as well, but the aftermath on me emotionally makes me sooo confused and sad
because why can we have such good closeness physically but he cannot be like that for the Whole Family? I wish I could have the man I was alone physically with last night, home with me and our sons and him to be that man all the time for all of us, be a full time daddy, husband, loving sharing man. I don't understand how he works? is it his narcissism? am I just a piece of butt when he's in a lull? Does he love me and just wont admit it? Event though he repeatedly tells me he hates me? Please help me see things from a reality perspective versus an emotional perspective.