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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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The other day I betrayed my girlfriend. Betrayed is the word

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The other day I betrayed my girlfriend. Betrayed is the word she used. I didn't cheat or anything with anyone. We have been dating for 7 months and our relationship has been great. We both have helped eachother through our rough spots and continue to make our relationship better. But 2 days ago is when it happened and she told me she needs her space. When and if she is ready to talk or see me again she will engage it first. It's killing me right now. The night this all happened I made her a giant card that had our picture with our dog inside a heart. On the inside I wrote to her saying how sorry I am and how much she means to me and that I would do anything to be with her. I don't know how to get her to talk to me so we can work through this problem. This is the girl that I want to marry and know that I am the guy she wants to marry but i don't know after this.
KansasTherapist : Hello
KansasTherapist : howHelloHow did you betray her?
Customer: Well for some reason I don't even know I took pictures of her butt and crotch when she didn't know (not naked or anything like that) and she went in my phone to send herself a picture I took that day of when she finished her first 10k. But she found those instead. I feel like a disgusting pervert for even doing that.
KansasTherapist : I can see why she would be very upset about that.
KansasTherapist : When there's a problem in a relationship and one person asks the other for some time and space to think, there is sometimes a feeling of overwhelming panic. That panic drives the response you had which was to beg for forgiveness and try to repair the damage.
KansasTherapist : Sometimes it works but pretty often it just makes the other person feel they're not being listened to.
KansasTherapist : I think your best choice at this point is to respect her request and give her some time to think.
KansasTherapist : It's hard to say whether she'll be able to give you another chance.
Customer: That's what I am doing but where can this all go. And how long could it be till she is ready to talk?
Customer: So your saying she could end the relationship because of this?
KansasTherapist : She could. It was a huge violation of respect for her.
KansasTherapist : There are no magic words that you can say that will make her come back. You've already reminded her of thee good things about your relationship which is the best you can do. I can't tell from what you say about her whether she might talk to you in a week, or a month, or never.
Customer: She would do anything to help me and so would I in return. We both have been through hell n back and wouldn't have made it without eachothers help. I know I have disrespected her.
KansasTherapist : Then your chances may be good that she will remember that and know you're a good guy who made a mistake.
Customer: What else can I do
KansasTherapist : Only be patient and hope for the best.
Customer: Didn't tell me anything I didn't know
KansasTherapist : I'm sorry you feel I gave you poor service. Clearly you know your situation and your girlfriend. As I said, there is no magic answer. I can't invent something that doesn't exist.
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