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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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For as long as I can remember, I have liked certain aspects

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For as long as I can remember, I have liked certain aspects of who I am, but loathed other characteristics. I am an eighteen year old with Asperger's Syndrome and comorbid ADHD, and I have seemingly never felt comfortable in my own skin. This morning, I woke up at 2 am crying, wishing I was someone else; anyone else.

Even as a six or seven year old, I wanted to be "normal". I yearned to be like all of my other classmates who had numerous friends and were not pulled out of the classroom by educational assistants every now and then. But alas, the things I despise about myself will never change. To this very day I am clumsy and unobservant, and I speak very quickly in a shrill voice whenever I start talking to anyone. Honestly, I do not see what I should love about myself.

However, I have decided to fix my self-acceptance issues...while I know very well that I should certainly see a therapist in person, I cannot do so at the moment (my college town's psychological services are closed over the weekend, just like everything else here). Where do you think I should begin?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It can be very difficult when you have a diagnosis that changes you in such a way that you feel you have no control over who you are. You may understand who you want to be, but at this point, it seems like an uphill battle to get there.

However, your insight into your situation is very good. And that can help you get to where you want to be in terms of gaining those characteristics you want to have. When dealing with any diagnosis, it is the insight and the determination to feel better than actually affects the outcome, even if it does not seem possible to feel better.

Therapy is the best option to finding out why you feel as you do and how you can reach your goal. If you are at college out of your home city, then it can be difficult to find therapy at low cost/no cost. Your college's psychological services are the best bet. But you mentioned they are closed for the long weekend. That leaves you to wait until they open again on Tuesday to being approaching this issue. But in the meanwhile, there are other options to at least begin to get some answers.

Online therapy is a good option for people who want to talk to a therapist anytime day or night. There are many sites which offer therapy either through chat or face to face with Skype. This can give you the chance to explore your feelings and get a better idea of your next steps in addressing how you feel.

Another option is self help. You mentioned trying some of the self help exercises on line. That is a good option. However, reading more about your diagnosis can help you find more answers. Here are some resources that may help:

The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood

Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Willey and Tony Attwood

Solutions for Adults with Asperger's Syndrome: Maximizing the Benefits, Minimizing the Drawbacks to Achieve Success by Juanita P. Lovett

More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD by Ari Tuckman

Your Life Can Be Better, Using strategies for adult ADD/ADHD by Douglas A. Puryear

Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning

You can also take a look at yourself outside of your diagnosis. You are more than just what you are diagnosed with. Build up your self esteem and work on your skills with others. You are young and even without a diagnosis, many young people feel as you do, not comfortable with themselves. Give yourself time to grow into who you are. You will find that as you get older, you become more comfortable with who you are.

I hope this has helped you,
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