Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
Rafael was on the right track when he said that you somatised your disorder.
Let me try to be a bit more specific and explain this to you so that it is clear in your mind, exactly what is going on with you.
For hundreds of years it has been recognized that physical symptoms can sometimes have emotional origins. These are put under the general heading of Somatoform Disorders. An extreme case may be the man who walks in on his wife while she is with another man, and soon after, the man goes blind. Sometimes other stressors or problems of day-to-day living can cause various symptoms or pains. Sometimes this condition can be associated with other forms of mental illness which add
to the burden of stress.
Yours appears to be a more simple somatoform disorder, assuming that there are no physical causes for your pain. It is called Pain Disorder (and sometimes called psychogenic pain), which is pain that is either caused by or increased by, or prolonged by emotional or mental elements, such as rejection, grief, or other elements of the heart or emotional factors. It can sometimes occur in people with mental disorders as well. It can also occur when we hold back our emotions, such as anger or guilt.
The pain might not cause tissue damage, but it is real, just as real as if there were damage to the various parts where the pain is felt.
In this disorder the pain is often felt in the lower back, head, pelvis and temperomandibular joint (where upper jaw attaches to skull near the upper palate), but can strike in other areas as well. It is more prevalent in women than in men, but can strike both.
There are a variety of treatments for this disorder including psychotherapy, antidepressants, painkillers, and other remedies used for chronic pain.
This is a real disorder and should not be minimalised or marginalised by your physician. Rather it should be address professionally, as it is a legitimate disorder which causes you great distress, and must be tended to.
I wish you great success in getting the hands-on help that you very much need and deserve.
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC