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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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My younger sister is 33 years old. I am 38. After many years

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My younger sister is 33 years old. I am 38. After many years of not seeing each other, she decided to relocate to my town to be closer to family. Soon after that, she became lethargic, slept all the time, neglected her children and household chores, etc. Eventually, she was admitted to a mental health facility and diagnosed as bipolar. In addtion to the above, she began to verybally, mentally and physically abuse me. She even mstreated my 11 year old son. Evventually, she began to destroy my property (cigarette burns on my favorite blankets and even on my sofa. The ultimate was when she urinated on my sectional. Not just a little bit, but a complete, full emptying of her bladder.) She also had her boyfriend to touch me in private areas of my body during an evening when I had invited them over for a meal. She was there in my home when he did this. Her response was to put him out of her home for a nite, but the next day he was right back there with her and her two children (11 and 12) who are not his natural children. My question is this: Are these symptoms more than just bipolar? It weighs heavy on my heart especially since I'm still left with the pissed on sectional which I cannot financially replace. I have spoken with other mental health professionals but they have only advised me tha she is a very, very, very sick person. For my own sanity and peace of mind, I need to know the truth behind her actions? How sick is very, very, very sick under the circumstances that I have expounded upon? What would the diagnosis be of someone displaying these symptoms?

Thank you for writing in JustAnswer.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister'situation.
Let me ask you a few questions first.
What made her urinate on your sectional?
Does your sister abuse alcohol or drugs?
Did she apologize you for what she did to you?
Please let me know by clicking on “Reply” and I will then craft my response.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm Regards,
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hello, thanks for responding. It took me quite awhile to find your response on another page. Her explanation for urinating on the sofa was she started choking and coughing. When she realized she needed to urinate, she just sat there and let it happen. Yes, she does abuse alcohol and drugs. No, she did not give me a genuine apology. And she hasn't tried to reach out to me to make amends since she moved in November. Generally, her apologize are meaningless. She admits to lying to get whatever she wants. She will say whatever is necessary to get what she wants. She has apologized many times during the time she was here but her actions do not change to demonstrate true remorse. When I confront her about her actions (which are repeated over and over, she acts shocked like we have never this conversation before. She will also mention a situation/conversation incorrectly....saying I said things I didn't say...rememberng the encounter differently from the way it occurred.

Hi there,
Thank you for your reply.
It sounds like your sister also abuses alcohol and drugs.
Was she drunk when she urinated on your sectional?
It sounds like she has alcohol and drug abuse/dependence in addition to Bipolar disorder.
I also suspect that she may have Borderline personality disorder(BPD) or Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) features as she doesn't show remorse for her actions.
It's very common for people with Bipolar disorder, BPD or NPD to abuse alcohol or drugs.
Borderline Personality disorder is emotional regulation problems. BPD is a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, affect, and marked impulsivity. A person with BPD is intensely fearful of abandonment and may engage in impulsive and extreme behaviors to keep other people with them. Disturbances in self-image are often manifested as frequent shifts in career goals and sexual identity, while impulsivity is reflected in unsafe sex practices, reckless driving, financial irresponsibility, and substance abuse.
NPD is characterized by grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. In mental health, people with NPD is very difficult to work with because they have low or no motivation for treatment (counseling).
People with NPD and BPD want only empathy, support and praise without any criticism. If you show slightest criticism, she may verbally attack you. She may be highly manipulative even in conversation.
He may have distorted sense of reality in order to defend herself.
Her narcissistic features may have a lot to do with mood swings, anxiety, and depression.
She may need ongoing treatment - individual and group therapy and/or medication in addition to alcohol and drug addiction treatment (working with a certified alcohol/drug counselor) in inpatient or outpatient settings.
You may need help and support to associate with your sister. You may need to get support from a counselor/psychotherapist and/or your doctor. You may need to be patient with her behavior at times - angry outbursts and erratic behavior as she has this serious illness (Bipolar and/or BPD).
However, set limits with her behavior without high emotion. You may not change yourself to accommodate her behavior as she may try to manipulate you. Keep an honest perspective, especially in regard to your own needs. Develop friendships and social interactions with other people, making sure you are not sacrificing your own quality of life in your efforts to deal with your sister.
If she is dangerous to herself or the other OR is unable to take care of self due to mental disorder or alcohol addiction, ask her to go to an emergency room of a local hospital. If she does not, call A LOCAL MOBILE CRISIS TEAM or PSYCHIATRIC EMERGENCY RESPONSE TEAM designated by her city and county for psychiatric evaluation and involuntary hospitalization. If she is in crisis now, seek help immediately. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24 hour crisis center or dial 911 for immediate assistance.
Please let me know if I have overlooked any or you have more questions even after you get my answer.
All the best,
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Hi there
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