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Bill, LCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3707
Experience:  35 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's
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I have been married for 18 years. Recently I have been

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I have been married for 18 years. Recently I have been unfaithful several times. My husband doesn't know this but suspects cos he has found text messages.
He physically abused me when he first found out and another time simply because he suspected I had been. Occasionally he drinks excessively and becomes verbally abusive. His words are degrading and full of hate.
I'm confused how to deal with all this
Bill :

Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.

Bill :

I am sorry to hear about this.

You have clearly been in an abusive relationship with your husband and typically the resulting affairs are a way of coping with the tremendous pain that you have inside that (as you say) you don't know how to deal with.

First and foremost you have to reach out to the resources that are available to women who have been in abusive relationships so that you can receive appropriate counseling and support. This will enable you to sort out these issues and develop a healthy plan of how to proceed in your life.

Information on counselling services for abuse victims can be found here:

Bill :

You have to learn that as much as you can about abuse and work to get out of this relationship . This takes time and you must get help from someone trained in helping women deal with this.

Online Support and additional information is available to help. Here is the links:

Bill : Australia wide

National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counselling Line

24 hours: 1800 RESPECT or 1800 737 732

Bill :

I trust this information will help you.

Call and get help today. This is the only way that you will be able to move on with your life.

If you have additional questions for me, please respond below---I am happy to help



Kindest regards,


Bill and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you