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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3391
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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ok where to start i,ve been divorced for 6 years brought up

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ok where to start i,ve been divorced for 6 years brought up 2 daughters after there mother left,found it really hard to move on and in all honestey never really have been able to do so,maybe 2 or 3 relationships possibly but always pushed them away! now find my self on a really bad downward spiral and no i am but don`t or can`t stop it, i know i need help but don`t know where to start need help please??

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

You have been through a lot and you have done a good job managing it all and now you can see how it is all coming to the surface for you.


 

CoachJenK :

The drinking has been to help self soothe but as you can see it will not help you in the long-run.


 

CoachJenK :

Would you be willing to get some counseling locally? Coming here is a great start to reaching out and I am glad you have.


 

CoachJenK :

You have a lot of feelings inside you that need the safe place to process it all so you can now live and feel free and happy.


 

CoachJenK :

I will wait for you to come online so we can chat and I can be of support.


 

Customer: I know I need help because I'm presently on a road to nowhere and desperately want to get off but don't know how? Just can't seem to find the tunnel let alone the light at the end of it !
CoachJenK :

It is hard to see out of the tunnel when you try to do it alone...getting that support will lend itself to you feeling some hope.


 

CoachJenK :

You have done great things and bringing up your children when their mother left is beyond wonderful....now you deserve to be free and happy.


 

CoachJenK :

Do you have the desire to be seen by someone so you can get that support that you deserve?


 

CoachJenK :

All those years taking care of the kids you got lost in it all...time to regain your sense of self.


 

Customer: I've got a great family who love me I know this,I've got loads of pals as well,not just saying this its true but bloody hell 6 years and still can't move on I'm not right ?
CoachJenK :

not at all. you love deeply and clearly you were very hurt by her leaving.


 

CoachJenK :

I think that harsh judgment of yourself is also making things so tough for you.


 

CoachJenK :

Please go easy on yourself...the good news is that you can love and have loved deeply and unfortunately it was not forever with this woman.


 

CoachJenK :

but you can be strong again and love yourself once again without the harsh criticism.


 

Customer: There you have it not worth loving that deeply cos if you do you'll get hurt every time?
CoachJenK :

not every time no! But closing your heart and locking yourself from the world is just as painful as risking it


 

CoachJenK :

You are a loving man...that is clear, but now we need to have some self love and know


wledge that you are worth it....not everyone will hurt you in the way you have been hurt.

Customer: Every person I know keeps something back for themselves in a relationship Wots the point in that ? I know the point in that is it hurts to much if you don't ?
CoachJenK :

I am not sure I share that view. It saddens me to know how deeply hurt you have been that you have closed yourself off.


 

CoachJenK :

you can heal from the pain of it...I know it has been 6 years but it seems like just now you are letting yourself feel it all and that is why you feel like you are in that tunnel. but it can ease up...with good support and care for yourself.


 

CoachJenK :

http://healingafterdivorce.com/index.html


 

Customer: It's hard not to close yourself in this world,Everyone is looking out for no.1 ?
CoachJenK :

yes it can seem that way but I promise you that not everyone is like this.


 

CoachJenK :

I think what is important here is that you feel all these things and need some extra support to work through it. would you be willing to see a counselor?


 

Customer: Hope so,I know I need some help or I'm on a self destruct mission
CoachJenK :

Where in the UK are you located?


 

CoachJenK :

I dont want you to self destruct.


 

Customer: I'm in Birmingham west mids,can you recommend anyone ?
CoachJenK :

I am going to look for you right now. give me a few moments, ok? I am still here in the chat with you while I look.


 

Customer: Ok thanks
CoachJenK :

looking now


 

CoachJenK :
Jane Chase Counselling

127 Pottery Road
Birmingham
West Midlands B68 9HE
United Kingdom


Phone numbers
07794 910 749

CoachJenK :
Alison Rolfe

131a Alcester Road
Birmingham
West Midlands B13 8JP
United Kingdom


Phone numbers
07787 303 643

CoachJenK :

and one more.


 

CoachJenK :
Couselling & Supervision

21 Millbrook Road
Birmingham
W Mids B14 6SE
United Kingdom


Phone numbers
0121(NNN) NNN-NNNN/div>
CoachJenK :

I would start by placing a call to them to get a sense of how they feel to you over the phone and then set an appointment or two so you can see where you feel most comfortable.


 

Customer: Sounds good I know I've needed this for a while but to afraid ashamed or stubborn to do anything about it ?
CoachJenK :

You do not need to remember the names above. Once we are done and you complete a rating of my work you will get a copy of our transcr


ipt emailed to you

CoachJenK :

nothing to be ashamed of at all...you did great by coming here.


 

CoachJenK :

you have done well by your children and now it is your time...nothing to be ashamed of about that.


 

CoachJenK :

getting some support along the way will be helpful.


 

CoachJenK :

you can come back to me anytime you need as well.


 

Customer: Made mistakes along the way but got there in the end for them at least ! Thanks for your help will deffo give a couple of those counsellers a call. Thanks
CoachJenK :

we all make some mistakes...we are human and not perfect. Go lightly on yourself. Thanks for taking a moment to click on the rating tab to rate my work. My goal is EXCELLENT> you will get a transcript when done.


 

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