Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue.
We don't have a lot of time, so I'm not going to spend a lot of words on the long term needs, like couples therapy. I'll just say it's there, okay? There are long term problems that will need to be addressed after the short term is dealt with so you don't get to this point again, right?
Okay, now let's get started. I assume the date is coming soon, so here's the name of a book that you can browse right in Amazon to get at least some ideas. Scour it for anything that might be helpful to use leading up to the date, during, and after the date. The concept is big also: being romantic. It's important long-term, you've already tried it I see with flowers, so keep on doing it now and use the book for ideas.:
The RoMANtics Guide: Hundreds of Creative Tips for a Lifetime of Love by Michael Webb. This is your guidebook! You can Google other tips too. Why not? Here's the Amazon page:
Now this following strategy is the meaty part of it. You're going to start with a book. You'll get 2 copies, one for each of you. You take it with you and you see if you can get her to go along with this program. Because it's meant to get you two attaching to each other; see the idea? You're trying to give a framework for continuing the date and building on it. The idea:
Each night you're both going to read a few pages or a chapter and do the exercise there if there is one in those pages. Every other night, or at most, every third night sometimes, you will get together, either at a park or at a Starbucks or by phone and talk about what you read. What you think of it, what it inspired in you. Make notes in the margins. And each one talk about the subject of the pages and what you think. That's your assignment and dates.
The book: It's by the foremost researcher into relationships in our day, John Gottman. He's famous for being interviewed on TV and being able to tell when a couple will get divorced within 5 minutes and having 90% accuracy. I've studied his therapy and use his therapy in my practice and that's why I'm concerned that you two do this. So the book is the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. You can get it cheaply online or see if you can get it locally to save time in case you can't get it delivered in time.
Now, a secret: the magic is not in the book. The exercises and Gottman's insights will be very useful and important for the two of you. But the magic is in the act of working together on your marriage! The two of you paying attention every single day to your marriage and making effort every single day: that's the magic ingredient in great marriages that GROW in love as the years pile up. So you're trying to show her that you're the guy, not the fellow in Ireland who really wants to put effort into getting to know her and satisfying her emotionally.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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