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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My guyfriend and i are having on again off again

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Hi my guyfriend and i are having on again off again relationship issues bc of his ex and now what turns out after 1.5 years is his baby issue. Not sure the best way to handle since her and i don't get along.
If you and boyfriend are having problems regarding his ex you have to do the hardest thing possible and that is to avoid her and he drama as much as possible. When you interact with her you fuel the fire and small issues can be big issues. You have to focus on him and the fact that boundaries have to be in place because he makes sure that boundaries are appropriate. It is easy to focus on her when he is the person involved. He has to be the driving force so that her impact is minimal. If she is getting to you then he is allowing it. He has to keep her from having bad blood between the three of you. Being up front is great but he has to negotiate the relationship between everyone. If she has a baby this will be even more important. He has to decide what is healthy for your relationship. You can't make any headway dealing with her so he has to be committed to fitting all these pieces together. I would let him know what you will and will not tolerate. If he can't include you and your wishes then there may be a question as to whether this is just something he is not adequately dealing with. For now keep your distance so that this does not make the situation any worse
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