How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Steven Olsen Your Own Question
Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Steven Olsen is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a hard time being affectionate first like when he

This answer was rated:

I have a hard time being affectionate first like when he comes over i get shy about walking up to him and giving a hug

It is not unusual to have some problems with initial affection when meeting someone, even someone you know and love very much. It actually has a name. It is called proxemic shyness. Why does it happen?

Our personalities, our own unique development, and even our past family histories all play into how we make that connection. For some, that connection is easy; for some others, like yourself, that connection may involve feelings of insecurity, self doubt, shyness, even fear.

Most often this is totally harmless, and as long as you communicate with your partner that you want to connect but sometimes feel too shy to do so things often are fine. Most people are flattered that you would trust them with this level of openness and will respond with care and concern and understanding.

However, if you feel that this issue is not something that you are comfortable with, even though it is very common, you can deal with this through seeing a counselor who can help you explore your shyness and hesitation and to resolve it. Usually this is very simple and quick, as most issues like this are caused by family development and fears related to rejection. A therapist who practiced a technique called cognitive behavioral therapy can help get past this issue. CBT as it is called is well respected and researched and is a commonly practiced form of therapy. You family doctor should have several resources to CBT counselors in your area.

Please know this is common, is not unusual and can, if it bothers you, usually be resolved easily through a short number of sessions with a behaviorally oriented therapist. Steven

Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you