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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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I met someone with a personality disorder I believe it is

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I met someone with a personality disorder I believe it is cluster c? How do I communicate with him so our frienship can grow? In others I guess I'm asking how do I act around him? he seemed to want a relationship with me at first but he says just friends. He has been married 3 times and single for 12 years. I really like him alot and want to stay friends with him. I don't want to affend him or push him away. he does have ADHD
Cluster C includes Obsessive Compulsive, Avoidant, and Dependent personalities. Which of these do you think is most dominate? Avoidant tried to avoid involvement with people and activities. Dependent becomes overly involved, depending on others to help them in all aspects, and is fearful of making decisions on their own. Obsessive Compulsive has the classic trait of being highly anxious is specific things are done a certain way.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I would say the OCD. He also has ADHD as well, Works all the time, is late, not very affectionate, says he is not sexual as well, wants approval all the time and is also paranoid about certain things. talks about himself alot. His plans, his job, he does give me a quick kiss on the lips and rubs my back while hugging me good-bye. I don't know what that means.....
Dose he have a lot of compulsive behaviors and high anxiety if he doesn't complete them?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

oh I would say so. He is alot like me in that area. Starts a task and doesn't like to quit it until it is done. No matter how wore out he gets. And so many things to get done or do. He has a big list. Thank-you.. but also likes to have a deadline set to work toward getting it done.

One of the most important thing you have to have with someone with this disorder is an enormous patience. There will be times when they become so anxious over something that makes no sense to you, you just want them to let it go. Some people who are extremely anxious find it hard to express other emotions. They may have a hard time relaxing enough to enjoy sex. Again, calling on your patience. I hope that helps.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

you are so right, he has a hard time expressing affection and right down to the way he really feels, He has said at times he doesn't know what he wants. As far as sex goes..not into much foreplay..says I am one of few woman who caused him to reach a climax. He did say women have said he is a dud in bed. But when he does preform he knows what he is doing and I tell him so. So in other words just let him be himself and don't try to change him. Are there certain things I should avoid doing while with him? In my heart I want to believe that he was starting to fall for me, got scared and pulled away. i don't want to make things worse for him by what I say or do..Thank-you

The only thing I can say is, again, have patience. When you feel your patience getting thin, take a time out so you don't let yourself stressed out.
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