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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My husband of almost 13 years with 3 children and I feel

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My husband of almost 13 years with 3 children and I feel that he has always put it everything before our family. He is a Deacon and I am a Minister so I believe there is no dishonesty going on outside the marrage.
He believes that I pick at him about everything. He belives I nag him. He does almost nothing when he is home. He is critical of the Children. I am over protective of the children. I don't feel trust for him and I believe he doesn't trust me. My distrust comes from before we got married. His distrust comes from during the marriage. I don't trust him with the money. He doesn't trust my opinion about most things. I feel like we don't love each other any more. Can this marriage be saved?

You are never to blame for the feelings of your children. Her anger may be at him and even about being a couple but she will live her own life and learn from this.

Any marriage can be saved but it takes two people very motivated. Trust and comparison are hard skills to learn and he has to be as motivated as you are. if he gives this half an effort then there is no hope. Counselors can help anyone motivated to be together. Trust is absolutely necessary for a partnership to work. You have to find out how motivated he is and if he wants this. Sometimes the love is no longer there but this is an issue you both have to examine. Marriage can't exist on a set of values but has to exist because two people love each other. If you don't love him anymore than that is not something that can be resolved. You can participate in a process to see how you feel but keep in mind that marriage can't survive a loveless partner. It is okay to admit that it's over and move on. Sometimes admitting defeat is difficult but necessary. You have to be happy for you and for your children and that is not in something that is over. I would consider counseling to see if this relationship can be helped. You have nothing to lose.

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