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Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2568
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
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My 12 year old son seems angry a good part of the time. He

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My 12 year old son seems angry a good part of the time. He prefers to stay in his room and play with his i-pod than to interact with others. At times he is sassy, and at times he can be very loving and helpful. He's definitely a loner. He resents chores usually.
NormanM :

Hello, I'm Norman. Are you ready to chat?

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Can you please tell me:

How long has this behavior going on?
Has anything happened in his life recently (in the family, at school etc) which might be causing him problems?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
We adopted him when he was 18 months old, from Russia, and from the very start he was moody. No, nothing has changed except now his voice is changing and he has shot up in height! ,
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
We adopted him as an infant from Russia and he has always been moody. Nothing new except his voice is changing and he has shot up in height!
Why have you had to stop ptivileges? How does he show his anger? How is he doing at school?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
He talks a bit sassy and with impatience at times when spoken to. Sometimes he simply walks away. He does well in school so long as someone encourages and keeps an eye on him to make sure he isn't playing with his i-pod. For example, when I started sitting down with him to study, he had much improved grades.
Sounds to me like a typical early teen. At his age, it's hard to make a lot of sense of the world, and that can be incredibly frustrating, the frustration being played out as anger.

His apparent isolation may either be simply be a part of his personality (being slightly introverted) or it may be part of an increasing trend whereby the lure of the ipod or xbox is so strong that it replaces the need for human interaction.

This of course has repercussions later, as young people become less and less skilled in social interaction.

I'm inclined to suggest that you concentrate on praise and encouragement, but continuing to use sanctions when he displays temper. It might also be wise to limit iPod time until all chores and homework have been completed too.

Overall, I don't think you have too much to be concerned about.
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