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Ask Norman M. Your Own Question
Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2568
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
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hi my name miriam im 16 and im suffering from post-traumatic

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hi my name miriam im 16 and im suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and im also a self harmer . im really not happy and how things are going and ive bin thinking about this for awhile now and maybe having a child brought into my life will change everything , bring life back to me ?

NormanM :

Miriam - are you ready to chat?

NormanM :

Just type when you arw ready

Customer:

yes im ready

NormanM :

Yhanks, Miriam. What kind of treatment and or therapy are you having, and how long has this treatment been going on?

Customer:

well i use to have therapy classes for my depression , but i guess my depression got worser and worser and thats when they detected i had post-traumatic stress disorder . i stopped going to the classes for about 2 - 3 months now .

NormanM :

OK. I AM sorry you are having such a difficult time, and while I suspect that this is what you do not want to hear, but for your sake, I have to be quite honest with you. For someone who has the problems that you have at present, a young baby is just going to be another problem

NormanM :

Miriam, I am sure that some day you will make a wonderful mother. But now is not the time.

NormanM :

Not until you are well.

NormanM :

When you can devote all your energy to a baby, and give her all the support that you can, then that's the time to consider it.

NormanM :

I think that a little person, born into this world, desrves the best possible star in life. What do you think?

Customer:

well the thing is ive bin doing just fine right after i stopped going to my therapy classes just a few brake downs here and there , but thats nothing ive manage fine on my own . i have no friends and my family is no support , and they dont care about me at all . im like completely alone here , i have my boyfriend who ive bin going out for awhile now and he accepts me evn with all my problems and what ive bin through and he says hes up to it . i have six littile brothers and sister and ive raised them all . i love kids and maybe bringing a child into my life will change everythingg for me .

NormanM :

Well now, you are a brave young woman. However, I'm an old guy who has been round the block a couple of times. Every day, in my office, I see situations like this play out. The fact is, that your boyfriend may be telling you the truth, and it is not for me to doubt him.

NormanM :

However, the odds are stacked against you. The very first thing you have to do is to GET WELL. See your doc, and if he recommends medication, go for it. get back to therapy, because let me tell you, OTSD and self harming don't go away on their own.

NormanM :

If I had a buck for every time I've heard people say "If I had a lot of money, all my problems would be solved" or " If I moved out of LA, life would be wonderful". Sadly, it does not work that way. Our psychological problems stay with us, whatever we do, until they are successfully treated.

NormanM :

It just won't work Miriam. I know that you so deeply hope that it will, and I wish I could say "Yes, it will" but all my years of training and all my years of life (my computer keyboard is older than you!) say CAUTION. Get well first

Customer:

i dont know if i am well or if im not , sometimes i feel okay and im smiles most of the time , ive stopped harming my self and i finde that a huge accomplish ment for me , i finde it very use less for me to go to tharapy an talk my stuff out again . it just doesnt work so thats why i deal with it on my own and im managing quite fine actually but if you say i should wait then i will consider it.

NormanM :

I really think you must Miriam, until you KNOW you are well, and can give your little one all she deserves. Love, a well Mom and security.

NormanM :

I'm delighted that you were able to take this kind of 'bad news' well. Hang on, it WILL beworth it

NormanM :

Is there anything else you would like to know?

Customer:

thank you , i may consider going back to therapy but for now i dont think i need it at the moment. but no this will be all thank you so much for your help .

NormanM :

You are most welcome Miriam. Good wishes!

Customer:

have a wonderfull day , and thank you once again .

Norman M. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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