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DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
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my daughter repeatively ask questions about worries and fears,

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my daughter repeatively ask questions about worries and fears, usually if she will be ok if she did this or that or if she hurt someone by doing something and if they'll be ok. i have to tell her yes you will be ok or they are fine if i don't then she will get so worked up untill i say she is ok. some times the questions are things she never did just thoughts in her head that she thought she might of did to someone or herself what could be wrong i want to help her because this gets her upsets keeps her back from being a kid and enjoying herself

Hello --

It sounds like your daughter needs some help learning how to manage her anxiety and worries.

You didn't mention your daughter's age, but there are appropriate interventions for any age.

Here is a book for ages 6 and up:

It's called What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to XXXXX (What to Do Guides for Kids)

The book is based on the principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT examines the interplay between beliefs, emotions, behavior, and
feelings in one's body when in a particular situation. Intervention in one area
will affect the entire system. Understanding situations and learning how to relax are big components of CBT. Also, with CBT one does a lot of work with identifying
beliefs and making counter or alternative beliefs to the irrational ones. These
are then tested out in real life situations in the form of
"experiments." It is a highly effective approach for lowering anxiety.

Kids often respond quickly to these types of interventions. They seem more accepting and willing to do them than many adults! Also, they do not have years of history that they are carrying around with them, which often makes this type of therapy efficient and very short term.

You could try the book and see how she responds. If it seems like you need more help after that, I'd recommend that you find a CBT therapist.

You could look for one at one of these websites: (The National Anxiety Association) (Lists therapists by city with pictures and profiles).

I'll give you the instructions for abdominal breathing --it is a highly effective technique for lowering anxiety. Again, children tend to take to it quickly. Have her practice first by lying down and putting a book on her stomach. If the book moves up and down, she's doing it correctly. Here's the full instructions:

This is called the 4 by 4 breathing exercise because you should
practice it for 4 minutes 4times a day to learn to do it well. If you are able,
do this with your eyes closed, imagining a pleasant place. This is calming and
designed to help you

manage stress. There are two important
things to learn about breathing:

Learn how to breathe from your diaphragm (from your tummy area) and make that
pattern a part of your daily life.

Become skilled at shifting to diaphragmatic breathing whenever you begin to


Natural Breathing

Gently and slowly inhale a normal amount of air through your nose, filling only
our lower lungs. Place your hands on your tummy so that you can feel it rising
and falling with each breath. Count to 5 slowly as you do it.

Exhale slowly through your lips, counting to 5 as you do so.

Continue this slow, gentle breathing with a relaxed attitude, concentrating on
filling only your lower lungs.

As you breathe, slowly repeat the word "relax" or "calm" or
some other word which means the same to you.

If you have difficulty
following the above instructions:

Lie down on a rug or your bed, with your legs relaxed and straight, a book on
your tummy and your hands by your side.

Let yourself breath normal easy breaths.

Notice what part of our upper body rises and fall with each breath. Rest a hand
on that spot. If that place is your chest, you are not

taking full advantage of your lungs. If the book is moving up and down, then, congratulations, you are doing it right!

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing is an extension of this normal process. With one hand on your
chest and one on your abdomen, take a slow, deep

breath, filling your lower lungs, then your upper lungs. When you exhale, let
your upper lungs go first (causing your upper hand to drop), then your lower
lungs (causing your lower hand to drop).

Reminder: Too many deep breaths, instead of natural

breaths in a row, will produce a sense of lightheadedness. This is not harmful;

just return to natural breathing.



Natural slow breathing and the deep slow breathing

several times each day. Practice natural breathing for a period of at least 4

minutes, 4 times a day. The object is to train yourself to breathe from your
diaphragm most of the time.

Please follow up if this answer does not address what you were looking for --I'd be happy to work with you further.


Dr. Fee

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