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Patience, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 291
Experience:  MA Clinical Psychology; BS Health Sciences
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This question piggybacks on my question on 3/22/2012 I

Customer Question

This question piggybacks on my question on 3/22/2012 I continued to date this guy with no change. He broke off the relationship the following month because he thought I did not know what I wanted because I would confront him with issues and he would lie and I would break it off only to apologize and fix things and the day prior I called his home several times and he would not answer my call, which is something he does often Well we decided to remain friends but I have very deep feelings for this man. I text him daily, but he will not text me back when I make mention to anything pertaining to how I feel. If I ask a question regarding buying him a gift he will answer. Just recently he has began to be more engaged with me, though he never calls or text first and but will say things like I would not say we will never get back together. I don't understand why it is so hard for me to move pass this man. I have met several nice guys, and pass them up due to my feeling for this man. HELP
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Patience replied 5 years ago.
Hello- I am so sorry you have come up against a brick wall in what you thought would be a good relationship! I read your previous question, and I think it sounds as though this guy is the one who does not know what he wants.
Sexual and emotional entanglement can often prevent a person from seeing a situation and relationship clearly. I think that is what has happened here.
I would suggest going "cold turkey" from him for awhile so your head can clear and you can get a better perspective on he situation. It seems your self esteem and confidence have taken a beating. You need to regroup and figure out what's going to make you feel good about yourself so that you feel like you are up to the standards of those "several nice guys."
Whether it's exercise, healthier eating, volunteer work, traveling--do whatever you need to feel like a winner. if the guy you are pursuing is worth it, he will be even more attracted by you as a winner, but I am left wondering whether he is worth it. You might well consider whether his lying and avoidance is a deal breaker for you. It does not exactly make him come off as a winner-type.
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