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I am approaching 60 years of age and entered into menopause

2 years ago. Since...
I am approaching 60 years of age and entered into menopause 2 years ago. Since then I am angry and yelling most of the time and I really can't accept compliments, my husband finds me physically and sexually attractive but I don't see it, I just can't see how people can love me when my hormones are raging all over the place. I don't ever remember my parents telling me they loved me when I was growing up but now they say it all the time. I have 3 grown children and always gave them confidence when they were growing up and told them how much I love them. Why am I usually angry? I hate the summer weather. Anything above 70 is too hot. Lately, I hate myself for my deplorable behavior.
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Answered in 1 hour by:
7/24/2012
Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
Verified
Heidi LPC :

Hi there!! So sorry to hear that you are struggling right now!! Menopause can be tough for some women; have you told your Dr. about all of these symptoms, or given any thought to any types of hormone replacement therapies?


Heidi LPC :

Here is a quick link to some great information to start with: http://www.webmd.boots.com/menopause/guide/emotional-roller-coaster


Heidi LPC :

Nutrition plays an important role in our menopausal health and can get our bodies back in balance in all ways: http://www.helpguide.org/life/healthy_eating_women_nutrition.htm


Heidi LPC :

Exercise, sunlight, hugs, laughter, sex... these are all things that help the body to release those "feel-good" chemicals, serotonin & dopamine, naturally... and these are things that we can help find at no cost!


Heidi LPC :

There are many great books on the web regarding helping yourself through the change of life; here is one good website with a few to choose from: http://www.womens-wellness.com/Menopause-Books.html


Heidi LPC :

Treat yourself with care and do something kind for yourself each day. Nurture yourself. Find one thing/person/circumstance that you are grateful for each day to 'change the channel' in your mind from feeling bad to feeling fortunate and grateful.


Heidi LPC :

Know that you are not alone. Your body is experiencing an intense chemical change, and it will affect you, but you can counter the effects with things that are healthy, nurturing and comforting. And check with the Dr. just to consider if you may be a good candidate for some vitamin or hormone therapy.


Heidi LPC :

I hope my response was somewhat helpful to you; please let me know if you have further questions or need more information, and I will reply as quickly as I can! Thank you for using the site!! :-)


Customer:

Hi! Thanks for your quick response. I definitely don't want to go on HRT. I tried soy but that gave me to much of a flatulence build up so I stopped it. I think now that I've realized my low self-esteem I can work on that challenge.

Customer:

Thank you for your quick response. I definitely don't want to go on HRT. I tried soy but had to stop because of the build up of flatulence it caused. I know I need to work on my self-esteem issue but now that I realize that it is a big part of my problem I should be able to do something.

Heidi LPC :

Hi! I can completely understand your opposition to HRT... I kind of feel the same way; and yes!! It is all about the way you talk to yourself, what you say internally about the situation, and how you choose to look at your life as it is that will make all the difference.


Customer:

just realized you were online LOL!

Customer:

What advice can you give me about my anger? I feel so angry lately and scream alot

Customer:

I get hot flashes, night sweats and put on weight since menopause and I'm overweight to begin with!

Heidi LPC :

The funny thing about the rage is that it is completely physically based; we are uncomfortable and impatient and agitated... and then we find things to release that feeling on! If you can tell yourself that it is purely physical, and then try to exhaust it physically with exercise, walks, gardening, biking, anything, that urge can be circumvented.

Heidi LPC :

Have you tried any yoga or Pilates or Zumba? Those can be fun and quite helpful...


Customer:

That's a major problem since I have arthritis in my left knee. Walking is even difficult at times

Heidi LPC :

Learning to control the impulses through something called "progressive muscle relaxation" can also be helpful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dk2157JYfA&feature=related this one is just meant to teach you to calm yourself.


Customer:

I am so glad that you said the anger is physical. I was beginning to think that I have the beginnings of mental issues.

Heidi LPC :

And, here is one more link about anger itself: (Just for info)http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anger_management_control_tips_techniques.htm


Heidi LPC :

No!! I am perimenopausal... and I feel it, too!! I have used most everything I have recommended to you, and it works! This stage is temporary... keep that in mind!! ;-)


Heidi LPC :

Get in touch with where you feel the tension most in your body, and work to relax it. Massages are a wonderful tool, as well!! Gets the "feel-good" chemicals going!


Customer:

So basically what you are telling me is that my problem is more physical than mental?

Heidi LPC :

Exactly!! ;-)


Customer:

Wow! I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that! Last night I was thinking that I needed to check myself into a clinic!

Heidi LPC :

Based on your description, I say that you could be the poster-girl for menopause!! LOL!!

!! ;-)

Customer:

So you definitely recommend more physical activity and laughter -- which I love

Heidi LPC :

You bet!! Yoga can be done in a chair; there are Arthritis exercise classes everywhere... swimming is the best...


Customer:

Heidi, you have helped me so much tonight. I love to swim. Just wish I had a pool.

Heidi LPC :

And my prescriptions are rather low cost, and FUN!! ;-) Check out your local Y, or such... a swim class may be really nice! Water is soothing!


Customer:

So if I think more positively about myself and try some physical activity that should help?

Heidi LPC :

Glad to be of some help; you are NOT alone... remember this! And this too shall pass!! It is temporary... and it is just your body adjusting to the influx of hormone changes... so just change that channel, focus on finding some self-help solutions, and you will be past this very, very soon!


Heidi LPC :

Yes... try it!


Customer:

Thank you. ***** need to talk to you again. How do I reach you?

Heidi LPC :

You are sooooo very welcome!!! If you'd like to chat again, just put "for HeidiLPC" in front of your question, and the moderator will get it to me!! You are going to be just fine, my dear!! :-)


Heidi LPC :

Thank you for using the site!! I wish you health, happiness and cool weather!! ;-)


Customer:

Thank you so much. I feel so much better. Good night.

Heidi LPC :

Goodnight!! :-)


Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
Verified
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Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
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Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor

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