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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
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Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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For olsen. well dr came back. he picke dup everyone of my

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hi for steven olsen.
well dr b came back. he picke dup everyone of my pts and i didnt ask him to. i didnt tell him what happened or crap. at 1st i was flattered. then i thought dr a told him to. and dr a bullies him and then that made me mad. (this is why im craz y...) i as super busy and i literally didnt have any downtime. i wa sin that back corner with no aide and the other nurse went home at 11pm so i took all her pts and i just kept getting slammed. i got 2 combative drunks and i felt like saying guess what? im having contractions so im going home. the 1st guy was in 4 pt restarint. i went to the guy and he said the ems was rude and he went crazy when they restrained him. i said look if we take you out and you do soemthing ill have you nack in in a second. and 10 guys will be here to sit on your head. do we have an agreement? so the aide took them off and he as fine. he did tell me he was trying to kill himself and that we cnat help him. he started crying and i almost did too - he said you dont know how awful it is to be me. and i ve felt like that so often, it makes me tear up now. just to hate yourself so much. i saw his multiple healed attmepts o bi lat wrists. i talked with him as long as i could without crying myself. i was in tears and left.. the girls thought i was crying b/c my assignment was too hard i told them i wasnt but.. well who cares? i told the pt we were going to help him and he said you cant help me. theyll d/c me and then ill do it right. and i know if he really wants to. he will. he asked if he could leave he regreted coming and i told him he knew that we couldnt. he turned on his side and went to sleep. he went to psych.
dr b spoke to kim and i overheard her say how great i am.. and i said oh yeah who says this? i said i bet i know whic h list h is longer... kim told me she had been praying for me and the baby and told me she decided if i lost the baby she would have a baby for us. i told her she didnt know what i tenatiled and she said no she knew..but hsed want to do it for me. i thought it was very nice... but i didnbt know what to say.....
dr a came and spoke to me about a pt i took over. i was civil but.. thats it. he tried to make a joke that isnt even my head anymore and i didnt bite. dr b said to me at the end of the nite youre such a goddess liz.. and i was like yeah whatever drink your maalox. )dr b needs maalox like every shift. i had such bad back spasms i figured he was ready for maalox and he was greateful. he drank it and dr a came by and was like hey whats this? neither of us answered and dr a didnt say anything more.
i tried to keep tp a off my ass.
either way im falling assep...ttyl.

You are probably already asleep as I write this. I feel sorry for you; you are going through so much with the pregnancy and the job and the stress. It really is too much for anyone not pregnant, let alone all of this on top of it.

You do get slammed at work. The drunks sounded rough and the conversation with the restrained and despondent man had to be difficult to process. You have felt similarly to him in the past and I am sure what he felt and said touched you right where you hurt the most. You too have been abandoned and feel helpless and I am certain that even with all the stuff you have told me that there is lots of missing things, such as the feelings of great emptiness that you have had, and feelings of not wanting to go on due to all the pain. But the key is that even though you have felt this way, you have not quit. You may have wanted to, but you have not and you have grown through all of this. You are making the harder choice to go on.

Dr b may have simply taken your patients because he wanted to, not because of dr a. Dr b may be a doctor, but he does like you...

Kim, that was nice of her to say, but it was a little bit odd, especially in the context of you feeling the way that you do. Not know what to say to either. I guess best practice would be to simply say that was very nice of you Kim and leave it at that. Or just do what you did and say nothing.

Maalox after each shift? Ah, how about having that looked at a bit more dr b? There are medications for that type of anxiety reaction. But dr a goes for the bonding moment? I You handled this well. You let him talk but only in a professional context. Keeping him away from you is a great idea. Steven

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hey steve. i took a shower and that wakes me up...
i didnt tell you some other stuff.. like when we were at the mall over the weekend.. i did look a girls clothes.. but then i went to the boys layette. there was nice sale stuff and rob was busy with kate but i know he saw me.. i didnt get anything for the little one. he didnt say anything and i just said... im so afraid that im not going to have this baby or the baby will die.. i cant have boys clothes and have them sitting here. rob just gently said i understand. kate was wlaking and singing (she kept singing yummy yummy yummy.. i dont know why..) and we took her to the disney store. she got a minnie mouse costume as she grew out of her old one and there was 25% off. and she tried to get inot the old one.. it actually fits.. it just is so short.. its like prostitute minnie. her whole diapers out.

she got a toy too. and kates... a spoiled little girl?

i found out last night that a nurse who just came off orientation that she got the 11- 11 shift. and i was ready to flip. i cant take it anymore. i cant figure out why peter hates me and i know hes going to hide behind me being out those 2 weeks that they couldnt offer me the position due to the fmla.

they screwed me at my old job that i was out on maternity leave and i couldnt go to the er.

dr b needs maalox. usually by the time i need motrin or tylenol.. he needs maalox. we all have our archilies heels. he soemtimes asks but alot of times when i see him sitting there i just bring it. ive never seen him not drink it. he doesnt like pepcid and it figure its harmless enough. he prob has reflux from n ot eating and in young men they need to eat. plus stress. dr a seemed a little... maybe jealous.. he said hey hey whats going on here? we were standing close to each other bt we do it to block him taking any meds in view and theres actually no time for him to go somewhere. i think it may be psychosomatic and he doesnt take other antacids so i dotn have to worry about him having metabolic alkalosis or anything.. dr a wasnt there when we started (perfect opportunity..) and he just strolled back. oh well. let dr b explain it. im not explaining shit.

as for dr a.. im not falling for this. ive lost trust. being a snot is one thing. but actually possibly getting me fired..? uh no. and pretending our conversation didnt happen? yeah now youre a liar. you have any orders? put them in the computer. im not taking a chance hell back down and say he didnt give an order if soemshit goes down...

my friend dan who told me hes been reported to the board of nsg ..(for abeing a racist..) told me the hosp he worked at for yrs as a flight nurse (thats elite..) rolled on him. that swhen he realized hes just a body. and he said the sooner i realize that the better ill be. i didnt share my problem.. and he told me it was dropped.. but he said his career changed for it. he asked me about dr a.. and i told him what happened and i told him i have a husband. and if i dont put up with that shit from him... what makes anyone think id take it from him? yes ill be polite. but the friendship thing aint happeneing. dotn plan on me making you luagh or me finding you funny. i did kind of put the screws to him. the one pt we had.. he said ill hold her til the am... i almost said oh really? u sure asshole? or am i hallucinating? i said well she lives ina facility ill call and see if theres a nurse ot receive her. so i called, gave report, set up the ambulance. they were to be there in 20 min. well he didnt have d/c papers ready. so i said ok transports ready. theyll be here at 4am. he almost seemed like he was going to say what? and i was going to say... what? too fast for you now? the ambulance was 10 min late and he did get the papers doen without me sayin g anything more. and the pt went back. hopefully shes there.

kim told me they went to id the other lady to figure out the mistaken identity thing and the pt we had was balack and the other lady who called and said it wasnt her is white. and the black lady lives inot the next town and it seems like shes done this before... etc. so its all been dropped or whatever.

kim also told me shed have the baby for me after i said that i think this is my last preg just out of pure disgust that im not losing another one. and i feel ive been thru enough. and then she said liz id have the baby for you. it was touching and shiocking and i told her that. the touching part. i told her its easy to say but difficult to work and be sick and she wouldnt have husband to lean on... and it wouldnt be fair to her. she said her sister had problems but then had kids and she said shed do it for her and i said yes but shes your sister. and even doing ti for her would be hard. to give away a baby would be very hard for you.

she said she may not ever have children and it might be her only experience and i said she can decide when her cut odff is and do her own plans when she wants... as shes worried about finding a man. dr b did speak to her and she seems as befuddled as ever and i staye d out of it.

last but def not least.. a nurse got fired this am. she brought to the med room where they asked her to log in about a discrpency and they tried to accuse oher of taking percocet and she said she gave the pt motrin? but the machine doesnt lie. anyway they took her badge and had security walk her out. in front of all of us. i felt like sayin are we animals? where the f**k is the union? did they have her drug test? what about the federal law of asking if she needs help? they have to send you to rehab 3 times. but.. theres a loophole. due to ou r job if you steal the meds from the hosp its stealing or theft of goods.. and theyll bang you on that instead of the narc use.

i said to dan look at this shit and he said they dont just lead you out like that without a ton of stuff. and i said yeah i dont know. it makes me worried. i mean i hope she calls the union to start the arbitration process and a nurse attorney of course.

i just worry that soemhow/ someway ill be caught up in the mix up. and it wont be like a funny lucy and ethel routine...

Who wouldn't understand about not buying the boy's things at the store. You have to wait until you feel you can. There is too much emotional stuff otherwise and you have to take this all slowly. That is more than understandable.

Kate spoiled? Well, you're her mother...Do you think she is spoiled? After all you buy this stuff for her. lol Anyway, you can't spoil a child with things, only if you do not discipline them or give them limits. That ruins them, not material things.

A new nurse got 11-11? Now that seems grossly unfair and I think is reason to say something. If this is true it is discriminatory in my view. Doesn't the union have rules about shift preference and longevity of employment? I would think with a year in that you would have some choices here. But angry, I get that! This is grossly unfair. I know he will hide behind the FMLA, but a new nurse...that is insulting.

I am sure dr a has some professional wondering about why dr b gets to be friendly with you vs him...but that is good. Let him wonder. What is going on here he says? Ah, a real working relationship, minus the abuse. duh. And Maalox moments. Hey, whatever it takes. If that is what he needs, so be it. Pepcid is my life though. I hate Maalox. It tastes like metal. Of course it has metal compounds in it so I guess my palate is accurate.

Dr a and you: So long as you do your work you don't have to be friendly with him. Sometimes people at work just cannot be trusted and he is one of them. I know you are trying to protect yourself and I do understand why you are so careful with him. You need to be. He is about himself and he really sees people as bodies that serve him and not real people. That, plus the narcissism is a dangerous combination. You are right be to careful.

I didn't think the missing patient would turn out badly. You did all that you could and it was a charting error.

Kim...I am not sure what to make of all that except for the clear psychological loneliness on her part that she feels. She sounds pretty sure she is not going to find anyone, but that is what it is like for many people, and then they find someone. I doubt she has any idea of what it is like to have a child and she sounds more like she is trying to be supportive and kind, combined with a certain naivety about babies. I guess this is flattering, but her emotional needs make this a more sad than supportive thing, at least as I see it. (How come so many people there at this facility have deep emotional issues? It seems rampant. Really, these types of things are supposed to be at tops, 11% of the whole workforce. These folks seem to make that closer to 60%. It must be something in the system I feel for you. You can't escape the personal issues of these people. Wow.)

Liz, you are naturally anxious and conditioned by your family to feel guilty about so many things. When someone gets fired at work I can see that you feel sorry for them, but also that you feel worried about your own future.

Realize that this is a reaction from your familial past and your work past. Truth: You don't steal or hurt people or act crazy. You are a good nurse and employee. It may feel like you are on constant eggshells, but they are not going to get rid of you. I see this, but your past may cloud it. But I would not say it if I did not have good reason to see that it is true. You are much more safe here than you know. Steven

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hi steve. just got up. kept waking up and i dotn know. heartburn and peeing. i mean i only slept for 4 and half hrs. youd think you could juts be uninterrupted... you know?

i cant say anything to peter.. b/c.. of the fmla. going to war with him isnt going to help me. like dan the man said. just ride it out. its only til nov. he said hell keep an ear out why im not liked.. but.. i said well its not like ive had a big incident or soemthing. he said i hear ya. he said the whole thing sucks kiddo. he told me he stopped nights after he fell asleep so manyh times he crashed 2 cars. he aid no more nights.

i hate maalox cuz its minty. and if you have heartburn youre not supposed to have minty things. or coffee of chocolate etc. so why make it a flavor that "repeats" on you? and the thinckness. omg. i could barf right now. reminds me to take my pepcid.

i think he thinks that he will just have it blow over. but i wont let it. dan said oh good so youre not in trouble and he wants it to blow over. and i told him im a woman from ny whos italian. i said its going to be more than 50 yrs before i may let it go. and he laughed and said i hear ya.

well i may seem needy to them - at work - b/c i said that if i start cramping im outta there and im not trying to have another kid. so they may be telling their therapists right now and he/ she maybe like oh geez. needy people. i dont give a shit. oh well. they had jen at 6 all night. why couldnt i be at 6 or 7? i mean 9? and no nurses aide in sight. no one even near me for the rest of the shift. no other nurse in that corner i was in no mans land.

colleen thinks that this is not an easy place to work... but thinks like it takes a ton for them to get rid of you. like that other nurse killed 2 pts and the lawyers were there etc. and she was like she still works here liz. and i was like yeah.. but they prob had nothing on her. she let one pt stay disconnected from the vent and they didnt have the pulse ox on and the pt coded or whatever. and she said the pulse ox was on and the disconnect must have just happened and we do have alot of pts so its not like youre riht there. colleen said the lawyers were there (who called them?) and questioning her etc. she had anothe r incident and also lawyers were downstairs talking to her... and i said to colleen thats like not hard and fats stuff. its n ot like. she gave th qwrong med. its a whole slew of maybe she did or whatever. and peter jokes with colleen if shes not nice to him hes going to make her team nurse with that one. so hes not unaware of this and thinks its funny. or whatever. i have to take over for her alot and i dont find it funny b/c shes very difficult to deal with frankly. and the pts are all angry and theres alot of shit not donw. and she always tells me there was aprob after i left. oh the pt said you didnt help them all night. usually soemone who i bustedm y ass with and i get upset.

i think im pretty conscientious.. but.. i mean. well if they dont like you you know how that goes.

i dont think ill be able to win them over. i know colleens told peter im awesome and he hasnt said to her no shes not.. but i think he def doesnt feel the same. and i def dont know where i stand wioth him. so no i dont trust him. its like a house of jenga there.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
oh bt wi will have about 1 1/2 yrs (they take the fmla time and sinced youre not working they increase your time there.. so they add the time to the end of your contract.. which sucks. SUCKS.) so i if i use the full 3 months whihc i prob will.. my contract will be extended to august of 2014. from may of 2014. and.. if oyu leave a day earlier or 9 months you still pay 5k. so they dont prorate it. so if i get close itd be worth it ot stay. if its not too scary. if im leaving might as well leave asap.. cuz still have to pay it... so. there i am. it seems far away that sfor sure. i dont think rob expects me to finish the contract. i dont think he wants to go trhu with me what weve been thru and if im spooked he knows im not going to hold on.

I don't think it helps your emotional well -being to be ill and tired. The lack of sleep combined with all the physical symptoms cannot be helping your mental outlook.

I am not sure what to say about Peter. I know the FMLA may have had an impact on the day shift selection, but the blatant unfairness, that he did not even have the guts to tell you, that is what gets to me. I realize you do not want a fight with him, but he is a callous bugger that is for sure. He knows you want this shift for the sake of your family. (If he even remembers this as it has nothing to do with him.) Plus they abandon you to what one of my employees calls Pooh Corner. That is where you work at a place but aside from your butt sticking out of a hole in the wall they do not notice you. In Japan they call this Window Dressing. The person works, but is ignored.

I actually feel ill reading about the Maalox. I can feel it slide down my throat as you write. gag. I hate that stuff. I can even deal with Pepto more than maalox and Pepto is bad enough. But count me in with the Pepcid. Hooray for whoever invented that wonder drug.

Well, I could give you the female biological reason why you will not let the dr a thing go...being that your memory is greatly impacted by the hippocampus, and it is considerably larger than a male's brain, and that your aggression and emotional regulation center is right below that...and it too is larger; feel anger and you do not forget it. Plus, you have the cultural genetics. So. He's doomed. Nuf said.

It scared me that they can let a nurse like you described work and make errors the way she does.What is disgusting is how the patients feel about her. If they are angry and do not know much, what is she really doing wrong, probably a lot worse. But I think Coleen is correct, in that this hospital is like a huge dysfunctional family. The work is hard and treatment of the employees is poor, but the system holds on to its own. It is like being adopted into some sort of sick club. They torture you, but do not let you go, even if you are messing up. So, it is a warped crack house. Jenga has rules. But does this place?

Sometimes a payment of 5k is not that bad of a deal to eliminate a really awful situation. I can think of a million worse ways to spend 5k. Think of it, if you have to choose that option, as a permanent vacation choice. If it was me, and I could get out of this place for that cost...and I could find something better. I might consider it strongly. There are worse things Liz. Don't let that control you. Do what is right for you, not just for a bank account. Your worth 5k. Right? Steven

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hi steven. my dad called this am and i was too tired to write. i woke up late so i am limited again in time. i am so not looking forward to going to work. i questioned the charge nurse who was on - i was getting my 6th pt and the nurse next to me had 3. and she said im giving you this pt and i said why? it son her team? and she says the lastt pt you got was an hr ago. i said so? i mean i fi have double the amt of pts than other nurses i dont think i should be getting another. i saw her got ot alk to peter this am. im trying not to think about it. i hope she didnt go to complain about me. just b/c i dont want to be on peters radar but im sick and tire dof this.
i heard that the nurse who got fired said she took out motrin for herself dueto ortho pain she was having. they said percocet was missing - 6 of them - she said soemone mustve went in after her - maybe she forgot to log off. but theres cameras and there was like 30 min of no activity at the machine b/c she went to a closed part of the er. so they fired her.

i have thoughts of worry like what if i had walked up - or anyone frankly - and used the machine and did nothing wrong and this bitch is going to try to say i stole percocet. yeah not cool. that smy license and again losing my rep.

it sso f**ked up what people will do really. i mean just leave me out of it really.

after work in the am i have to go to the ob gyn. then fri the hi risk ob gyn. all this business for nothing. could be at the beach or cleaning the house. im kind of anxious that im having the babys heart checked this fri. i wish it was done already. if theres a defect with the heart i will have to get an amnio. i might tell them to do it on the spot. b/c itll be another week for results and then ill be inot my 6th month and this is getting to be not right. how long will they let me be preg with a chance of a poss termination.

dr b told me that on his vac with his family his ex girlfriend went. but she went with 2 other friends so he wouldnt have her clinging to him. i said how about her not going at all? i dont see why she needs to be on vacation with you. so sluttly clerk says well did you pay for her? so he said no. i said look, youre doing the wrong thing here. youre keeping her in this friend zone so if you decide you cant meet anyone you have her to fall back on. he made a slight face that i caught. and said thats not true. sluttly clerk was just looking at us and i said did you see that face? i said to him look dr b dont bullshit a bullshitter. i said i can see thru people like wet paper. so hes kind of stumped at my metaphor.. and the clerk is laughing. i said maybe subconscuiosly you re doing that. but you need to have boundaries with her. i said now shes telling people she went on vac with you and your family b/c shes crazy. so hes like well thats why i had her bring friends. its a big boat - (they went ona cruise) i said its a big world. she couldve been anywhere else but with you that week. he said shes too needy. i said right and youre leading her on with mixed messages.

i got called away but you can tell me if you think i hit the nail on the head. dr b also said that he always attracts chicks who want to be taken care of. and its funny cuz i was like hmm. if i was to go and be with him id be like eyah im staying home. weird isnt that?

oh and he told me he doesnt want a nice girl from next door. he wants a girl that isa nice girl but acts like shes from the wrong side of he tracks. i said no you want a nice girl with an edge. so he goes ok yeah youre right.. he talks about the girlfriend whos getting amrried this fall and who got away. he said ive only met 1 girl like that. i said you mean 2. and he laughed an dsaid yes you are too. you have an edge liz def. i said of course i do.

dr a tried to talk to me again and i didnt bite. he took a sick pt of mine and she looked like she was going to die but she was a nsg home dnr. i said you know she looks like crap - you shud call her family. i said will you follow the dnr? he said why she didnt look that bad. i said uh shes looked pretty bad to me since she came in. he went back and siad her mouths always open like that. i said look at how shes bretahing. shes going to tire out. all of a sudden he was on the phone with the next of kin who gave dnr/ dni. then i kind of corrected him since the pts kidney fucntion was high and he was giving antibiotics thatll put you inot renal failure if youre not careful - i said the dose of this drug could be lower... he looked and said yeah change it to the lower...

we had another pt together and she was young with chest pain. shes on depo provera. i always young women who have chest pain are you ona hormonal birth control b/c you can get a blood clot. and hence a pulmonary embolism. i went back to him and said sahes on depo provera. so hes like oh. well them im going to send her for chest cat scan. i said ok. and he said thanks liz. i said nothing. i didnt think she had a pe.. but.. well you still have to pretend to follow a decision tree. she wasnt short of bretah, her thyroid level was high whihc is why i think she hads these palpitations. i told her hold her synthroid and dr a didnt even notice that and isaid call your pmd and ask what to do next . and gave the results. i dotn know wtf is with him.

she also has 3 little kids so maybe she s alittl stressed out.

well im late have to go. ttyl

If you look at what is going on at your place of work, the unfair practice of loading nurses in an unbalanced manner seems par the course. I realize that the charge nurse may have gone to Peter about your complaint, but facts are facts and six patients on your plate, while someone else has three, is not appropriate at all. You would think with all of the technology that we have that a fair and equitable triage system would be in use there. But I guess not. "Fair" seems absent in this place.

And, my suggestion is to use those words, "fair and equitable", in your discussion should it come up, as this situation is neither. I can't see how they could legitimately defend this unfair practice if those words were used

The firing of the nurse seems to be more complex than they were letting on, and it is always dangerous to have an incident occur where any bystander could be implicated . (I control security codes for the main door of our office complex. When there was a theft, even though I had nothing to do with it, I get questioned as I have the ability to alter the entry codes, so I get bystander implication.) Truly your situation here at this place is not the best, ***** ***** now I do not think you are in any danger of a negative employment action, and that is where I would place my thoughts.

I am sure the baby is fine. You are healthy, and at this point have to see things in a positive light. If you go in the direction of this or that could be wrong...well, it will just mess with your emotional health. A billion things could happen with your job or the pregnancy. But, a trillion, trillion could in a good way as well. I think staying with the positive here has merit. The rest just makes you worry.

I have told you many times that you missed your calling. You have very good insight into people and you hit dr b exactly where he was living in his thoughts. The odd looks and hesitation on his face show that your comments created conflict for him, and that is the essence of true therapy, challenging thoughts and patterns of behavior.

He is giving what is called a meta message to his ex. That is, when we say something but show a reverse in actions. How much worse could he make this for himself? He takes her on vacation. That says I still care about you, but then he expects her to leave him alone and be with her friends. Now, if you wanted to end a relationship would you tale them with you (or near you) on a boat cruise? I wouldn't. I would want them in Maine and me in Hawaii. So, what you said was right on. She is too needy? He is describing himself. And he feels wither guilty or miserable about breaking up with her. I am thinking, unconscious guilt.

He needs to care for people and he attracts those who need that care, but who are also hurtful. That is because he shows too much vulnerability and not enough independence. He is too conciliatory with dr a and others. And, as a result, he collects the needy people, but ones who are harsh too.

He wants someone who seems normal but has an edge? Maybe...but, He needs to get in touch with his independent, confident side and I think the right person will find him. As it is he relies too much on the "hope method" of dating. That is where you hope someone finds you and meets your needs.

He has to meet his own emotional needs first. Anything less will result in a messed up relationship. He does not see that his unmet and unconscious needs are impacting him and allowing him to make these poor and double message choices.

Maybe you should get Dr a's pay too? He seems like he is not doing very well. You nailed him on two cases, ones that he should have caught, right away. And, I can see that your cold shoulder treatment seems to be working. He seems to be more attentive to you. (lucky you) Maybe he is one of these arrogant guys who like women who seem immune to their charms. What's next on his get Liz's attention list? Chocolates? As far as this young woman: I remember my wife with the three little ones at home. She was crazy from the stress. I could easily imagine stress had a part of this young woman's symptoms too.

Have a good night. Steven

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hey steve. i was so tired this am. i dont know where the day is even going. i fell asleep before i had to go ot the ob.. and luckily i woke up after 30 min for me to redress and leave. i made it on time but the office was crowded and i waited. all these prego chicks were there and they were tlaking about when theyre due and how many kids they have and who has gestational diabets and.. frankly they sounded whiny and annoying. i mean i know its queens but theres a freaking limit.
they sound like the peanuts parents womp womp womp. they tried to tlak to me i sit ina corner away from everyone and im in my uniform with my eyes closed. i guess i def look preg (and still no matenrity uniform which im getting pissed about...)

i mean steven this is why (alot of men not all) think were stupid and insignificant. i swear. bottles and diapers and nonsense. yes kat e has a bottle. do i discuss it? i mean come on. want to watch the grass grow? paint dry? shit already. these women have nothin g else in their lives? yes our kids are great. i think kate i sgreat. im proud of her. but.. theres other stuff to talk about. i dont even have pics of kate. you know why? cuz who cares? and i mean that i carry with me. i have 3000 photos of disney alone if you can imagine.

dr b. well i didnt tell you that the last few nights dr b has been highly praising me. thanking me for my hard work. that im doign a good job (whihc i said ok why are you saying that? am i a f**k up that you have to praise to show me the right direction to go in? like an errant child?) he said no, that he wanted to let me know im appreciated. i of course am trying to read in between the lines and i think.. dr a may have told him what happened. i did not mention one word of it. i did not ask dr b to take my pts or to keep dr a away from me. dr a i tell him what i have to and i say nothing more. and whatever the ans is i say ok. and thats it. theres no discussion.

i also kind of stand a good distance away from him. i dont know why. i just do. im talking like 3 feet. or more if i can get away with it.

last night i gave dr b his maalox as usual and he had to put a central line on a pt and theyre usually back breaking the wya the dr stands to put them in. poor dr b must have gotten a muscle spasm. he couldnt stand all the way back up it was an hour before the shift ended so we were 11 hours in...

he made his way back to his chair and dr a wasnt there.. he already left so dr b was covering the whole er by himself. waiting for the next dr to coem in anyway i ended up rubbing his back. i only did it one handed and i kind of looked around to see if anyone was there... he told me i had strong hands i laughed only b/c i used to be so much stronger steve its not funny. i mean if i needed real leverage i wouldve used both hands he said the pressure i applied was perfect.. i only did it for a few minutes and told him id give him motrin if he wanted and a muscle relaxant that wasnt narcotic.. he said no its ok... he said he felt better and i went back to my work. he sent me text later and said he wished i had done it longer and i said how are you going to convince me to do that? and i didnt want anyone to see it. while i had been rubbing his back he had signed a drs note in this grandiose way and i said if he had any blank checks he could sign them now for me.. he said that what services would i provide him? i said you get ot talk to me and be around my effervescent personality.

he smiled and said that he wanted to get a personal assistant who comes a few days a week to clean and they do errands and other little things. its $800 a month. i sadi that sounded like alot i think he shud just get a cleaning lady for less than half that.. he said dr a got one from website and he loves it. i said it sounds like youre describing a wife. he said yeah you pay them too. i said to him please. i wish i had a wife.

he told me we could go to the closed section of the er for the massage and i was like oh yeah. sure.

could you imagine if we got caught? i twould look really suspicious i think its better to do the back rub thing at the station as it looks like we have nothing to hide. back rubs ive noticed are given out alot at the hosp in both the hospitals and its like whoevers good and its either mixed gender or same gender although i havent seen any guy on guy massages... (i used to get the best massages from that clerk who i still talk to. his hands are like... magic. i mean crazily so. i miss those massages. ) anyway dr b said well your husbands lucky. and i said b/c of the massage? and he said yeah. i said he doesnt really ask for any. and he said really? hes crazy. he said i should tlak to him. i said yes you should go tell my husband i gave you the best massage and then my husband can really talk to you. thats asmart move isnt it?

geez dr b asking to get punched out.

oh and when i said the things about why do you keep complimenting me - he said the appreciating me thing and then he said see? thats how little youre appreciated that you dont even know how to handle someone telling you that youre good.

dr a took most of my pts last night and it was ok. he tried to joke about soemthing else and i didnt take the bait or really get inot it. frankly b/c one he needs to be punished. not a little. alot. he doesnt seem to learn. he gets away with shit b/c women think hes cute and frankly im not having it.

he may like a challenge but i dont think dr a likes me. esp not preg. i think he is very much enticed by physical looks. soemthing i am quite short on these days. i would love to coem back from maternity leave thin. like really thin. and for him to drop dead. and for me to tell him so. but fantasies are fantasies.

i guess hes trying to make up with me. it maybe for his own ego or whatever with his whole he wnats everyone to like him. i still dont see where i fit inot this equation.

bully nurse came to dr b and said i have this preg pt and she wants to take allegra i told her not to, but i said id askt eh dr. i said she can take all the allergy pills but not sudafed b/c it has a defect - a hole in the fetuses abd wall. so bully nurse is like youre sure? i said yes i can prob tell you the whole list of drugs she can take. dr b took my word for it and stopped looking it up on his phone. she came to me and said show me. i said ok. i logged in and sure enough theyre all cat b. zyrtec, claritan and allegra. and she was like wow. i cant believe you know all that. i said yeah. i looked it all up for myself i have bad allergies. so she was like oh...

It is always amazing for people who have emotional intelligence like you, well; how shallow and basic a lot of conversations seem to be. Worse, many people seem happy to talk about the weather, their due dates, their physical conditions, and little else. Meaningful conversation is rare. That is why when you find someone who can have that type of depth with you that you latch on, and hold tight. Very few people have the kind of emotional intelligence that allows them to talk about things apart from the typical everyday issues of small talk. If you sit alone in the corner with your eyes closed and feel disgusted by all the small talk and meaninglessness around you, welcome to the psychological insight club, less than 4% of the population from what I understand. It is a frustrating and lonely place except for the "clicking" with others who see things as you.

What, you don;t want to talk about gestational diabetes? What is wrong with you anyway???

I think Dr b is picking up on the fact that something is not right with you, but your own cueing and what he may have heard. The typical reaction of most people is to try to support you and praise is something that is rarely rejected. I think he is just trying to be supportive and possibly learn what is really going on, although he may just be trying to assure that you do not get ticked off at him. I get the feeling he need s to be liked and you not liking him would mean a lot of bad things for him. He is insecure.

I have some strong opinions on professional massages and similar and you might not want to hear my thoughts. I know it happens at many hospitals because of the physical nature of the work, but professional boundary crossings are risky. And, you are right. It is better that you did this in more of a public venue than a private one...and I am not sure how he read Dr b's comments. They are probably innocent, but I will say that I have always suspected that he is an opportunist, and although a friend, you can trust him only so far I would think. I would suggest being more careful with this sort of thing. That is just me.

800 a month to clean and organize? That is pretty decent. And his comment about why he is feeding you all the complements is partial BS. His comment of you do not even know how to take a complement is the typical response of someone who wants you to see his behavior as completely altruistic and without any gain. Yet, he is doing this to maintain your favor and the fact that you like him. Again, this is not too big of a deal, but still...he is being manipulative.

Dr a. You fit into his equation in the fact that you are female and females are supposed to like him. Yes, you can get annoyed, but in his world that must pass quickly because he is dr a. You know, the great dr a; harbinger of good looks, healing and admiration of females everywhere. Sigh. He just wants things to go back to his brain's status quo of what should be right. Because you are not he is trying to win back the balance he wants. It is sort of childish and narcissistic, but it fits him.

You are a smart nurse and your memory is fantastic. So, not surprised you know all that PDR stuff. See, even Bully Nurse is impressed. Steven

Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i mean steven, not that theres much for me to talk about anymore. i dotn know why, i just have nothing to say. theres no dating talk. that used to be a big converstion piece. and im not exactly inot world affairs im very bad at politics and i dotn know global stuff really. i dotn watch the news.. (i already have enuff horror in my life. i wish i could have show called the good news news. )

i mean i guess its nice tot alk of our kids. i may have been overly grumpy. but it actually felt like they were draining the last bit of life in me. i had to stop myself from just shouting shut up already. and i saw your kids theyre ugly. so you better hope theyre smart. there was this infant that was so ugly it was like adam sandler on ababy. it was horrific. and theyre all cooing. id be like yeah hes ugly. even if it was my kid. looks like my husbands family. were hoping we can save enough to set him up in abusiness.

i mean i worry cuz i look at kate and shes challenging enough shes not perfect, but as far as being cute i know its not in my head. she gets lots of compliments... some of it scary. and im thinking shes smart b/c she knows all her body parts, the names of tons of household items, the alphabet, all these animals and their sounds, she can count to 20, she knows colors, fruits and vegetables, clothing.. shapes... i mean i think thats good for 27 months. and shes known them. now were trying to do phonics.. but we just started.

i mainly click with colleen and other nurses. er nurses more than anyone. the other night i ended up being the only white nurse with 3 black nurses and a black aide. which was kind of weird. but we laughed our asses off.

i knew one of them already she doesnt really talk to me... we spoke a few times amicably enough. then the icu nurse keisha we met last week or soemthing and weve been hitting it off. and then i met this icu nurse annmarie. she may be a little crazy. she grew up in brooklyn and thought i grew up all the way out the island.. i said uh no honey just cuz im white bread doesnt mean im not a city bitch. she laughed and laughed and said ok i like you. she grew up in east ny. whihc is the ghetto. ghetto might be too nice a term really. it has the highest infant death rate for the united states. crack babies. i student nursed at the hosp there it was a catholic hosp and we just had gang shootings and crack babies and kids who were dropped off everyw eekend for free babysitting. it was a hell of a rotation. alot of screaming fighting. alot of death. anyway we had this very dignified black teacher who was older and very well educated well spoken well dressed. and i felt she felt ok there but was scared for us. esp the white nsg students. we had to go in groups to the train 2 blocks away and she would tell us dont dawdle. and we couldnt go out for lunch. we had to eat in the hosp cafeteria. we had to wear the white dresses with the pinafore and wel we looked like sacrifical lambs up for slaughter. anyway i told annmarie of this tale and she said that poor woman the teacher - she said id be begging to god please dont let one of these babies get killed. people trusting me with their children in the hood. and then she said. yo the news hates when white bitches get killed. i shrugged and the other black nurse said annmarie youre crazy. and she said you clalin me crazy? i said look if we thought you were crazy we wouldnt tell you to your face... wed smile and nod.. and give you candy. so if you came back to work with a gun you might spare us since we gave you candy. she was laughing and told me when she worked in brooklyn she worked at a city hosp. another really rough place. well shes an er nurse at the time and its 1999. its july and 90 degrees at 2am. she sees a guy who comes up to triage in a trench coat. so she said she jumped up and ran for the bathroom. now i knew exactly where this story is going... he pulled out a sawed off shotgun held it to a couple of nurses for the narcotic keys whihc they gladly surrendered. she told me another nurse came and banged on the door after it started. she wouldnt let her in. after she came out she punched her square in the face and told her find your own f**king hiding spot.

and ill tell you i laughed and laughed.

and i had a pt crash and they helped me. and they didnt have to. the er nurse shudve. she didnt the icu nurses did.

dr b is easy to get along with. and ive never heard a nurse complain about him. and i havent heard a pt complain about him either. so what can i say? i ve heard nurse complain about dr a. but not pts to be honest.

the massage thing is tricky. i mean he didnt ask, but he seemed to be in alot of pain honestly. under his shoulder blade. ive had soem bad back pain since i returned. i have a feeling it will worsen

as for dr a. i dotn really care. im not playing any bullshit with him. im not joking with him and im not taking a verbal orders unless i have 20 witnesses. otherwise the pt will wait til its in the computer. i dont plan on having a licensing issue again. and since hes proven that he cant be trusted.. well he cant be trusted. so go put your f**king orders in. i know if soemthing happened to a pt hed say i acted alone and i would full on punch him b/c if i have a licensing issue i will work til they cathc up with me and then just forfeit my license. so i may as well punch him too. at least ill get my licks in.

i waqs going to ask if the $800 a month included blow jobs but i thought that might be criossing the line. heck dr b may end up marrying this chick. i think its crazy he works all this ot and then hes going to piss $800 a month away to have cleaning and a personal assistant. if its not an old german woman i guarantee hell end up with this chick.

if i look soemthing up i rememeber it. that s it. b/c it took me time and energy. so.. its not a big deal. i didnt know all the categories til i got preg. as for bully nurse she can be impressed with whatever. she should go and learn soemthing or whatnot. an d dr b just defers to me b/c im honest if im not sure id look it up. and frankly buylly nurse couldve looked it up and not brought it to dr b or me. she can log in to micromedex too. so wtf. dont make your problems everyone elses. wee not just sitting there waiting for your questions. honestly. ive had questions but not solved by a look up situation.

and i wouldnt be shocked if the gossipy little bitch dr a told dr b what happened. im sure dr b sold me out and said oh yeah she shouldve gotten the guy outta here.

anyway, i have to be nice to dr b. frnakly im ina ore precarious situation. if i cant get along with either of them then i tlooks like i have a problem. not them. an we all know the world runs on perception not actuality. now i may not be a problem or it maybe that i dont take bullshit. and thats how i am. but it actually benefits me to get along with every other dr there now so its like ok they dont get along. but i get along with everyone else so it makes it alot less clear. it muddies the situation. either wya its just afew months. ill be out til jan.. and alot will be forgotten. heck he may not even work there anymore.

and then... ill be looking for a new job. or ill be on days and ill kill soem time there. i had that other icu nurse tell me what apiece of shit peter is. i said oh really?

b/c she said i coem and i take 2 icu pts. he wanted her to take an icu and 3 astep downs - and she said no. 2 icu pts. she said shes tire dof being thrown around and just taking crap.

another nurse told me shes having acurrent problem - she used to work on the floors there as anurses aide and then an rn - anyway she said from 5 years ago some scum bag couple is trying to say she released inof or something and they wrote a complaint and hr is up her ass.

the guy she was training - whihc why i s she training soemone (and shes on days.. shes junior to me..) he got written up by 2 floor nurses and hes like i dotn know how much longer ill be working here. i was going to say me too.. i mean it seems the place is fraught with issues.

i just dont want to be involved. really. i have to take kate to a class i have tomorrow b/c we have a staff meeting next week so ill have to come earlier than the shift - an hour earlier - and thats bad enough and then i have to get in to these classes. so i decided hey . im taking my kid to work now. f**k them. im sure itll be interesting.

i shud see if i can make that xtra 800 a month - ill clean his stupid little apt. pick up his dry cleaning. how hard could it be?

I would not worry about what to talk about or when. Just be yourself. You're funny; have a quick wit, a good memory and are bright. You tend to be situational rather than topic based in your thoughts. So, what is there really to talk about at an OB's office? The babies? Yeah, I guess, but that only goes so far.

And there are unattractive babies. I have seen this even within my own family. Some children are just gorgeous as children. My oldest was stopped all the time and was asked to model, blah blah. It just depends on the child. But as far as feeling isolated and uncertain about what to talk about: That makes sense to me. You are just not that type of person who small talks or is concerned about who shot who and where. It is not you.

Your inner city nursing experience sounds like fun. Not. What a mess. You could not even go out for food? That is a rough place. I am not sure what to say about places like that. I mean we have stuff like that here but I have always been able to avoid the worst of the worst locations. I have been attacked, threatened, etc, but it was never racial. It was always drugs, specifically drunks who did the worst stuff.

I will say that the two nurses you talked about Keisha and Annmarie, they sound nice. Down to earth nice, not pretentious and arrogant like some of the ones you work with.

So, what is wrong with an old German cleaning woman? That seems like a good match for Dr b. lol It also describes my mother who cleaned schools and private homes for a living. Lots of the older guys thought she was pretty good looking. She even got a marriage proposal from one of them...who was rich, and died a year later. What was my mother thinking by saying no??? I could have my kids' college tuitions paid for by now!

I really am glad you didn't say the BJ thing to dr b. Yeah, I think that might have crossed the line. I feel reserving that was a good thing. But 800 bucks is a lot of money, and you really think he is that desperate that he would marry the cleaning lady? I know he is insecure and stutters, but he does have hospital administrators after him.

You know...I have seen a pattern: Whenever you have been given a complement, by others or even me, you argue it as insignificant or wrong. What is that about? (I think I could tell you but you telling me would be better.)

Dr b will remain your friend. He needs a female friend and you are like a family member to him. I think you could be out a long time on leave and still find that he adopts you back very quickly.

Yes, your hospital seems turbulent and the decisions of management seen almost arbitrary. Seniority and experience appear to be ignored and I have no doubt that trouble brews there everyday. The accountability seems so messed up there. It is like the place runs by spin the roulette wheel management. Oh, today we will try this crazy choice... No wonder there are problems; and, the theme of records and private information keeps coming up as a problem. What is going on with privacy in that place?

Stay uninvolved as much as you can there and do bring Kate. If you see Peter so much the better. Most of the docs and management there seem to see people as things. The more they see you as Liz the person with children the better off you are. Plus Kate is really cute and you can get some mileage with that. I sure would. Steven

Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hey steve. i am situational in ym thoughts and just kind of am there.. the hosp keeps me entertained or freaked out and then my days off are to decompress i guess. talk to my therapist...
i have been told i am good at situational humor. that sthe main humor out there though its hard to tell joke after joke after joke.

funny thing that just happened. my parents called (mor eon that after this...) and i told kate tell pop pop how your e going to have a little brother. and she said im going to have a little bother!!! i was dying b/c my bro is bigger than me and hes a bother definitely. we were rolling.

so my dad called me and kate were napping... anyway my dad said get up theres tornadoes and a hurricane coming. i was going to sya maybe i shud try to sleep thru this shit.. you know? i mean what am i going to do? the windows are all closed the a/c is on. if the power goes out - well theres nothing else to do. so he told me get flshlights and batteries and radio. make sure you do your laundry etc. whihc i was already doing. i still wish i was sleeping. also the governor called for the con ed to go back!!! and ym dad said oh yeah? how does that work? he says that s f**king union busting. he said im not going there. con ed said they dont need us. so let them figure this shit on their own. and im going to say i dont blame him. if the hosp told me they didnt need me. well. yeah f**k em.

i would love to see peter deal with the shit i do. literally and figuretively.

so hen the news was saying only electric guys. and my dads like if an electric guy shows ill be the 1st on line to punch him out. (apparently these lock outs get physical.) btw my dad has made a ton of comments about con ed guys living by me. anyway ive always said thats hwy its a bad neighborhood. but ive always wonderred... how do these guy slive here? cuz i would think its too expensive. anyway the other day i saw the trucks all driving arund like 4 diff trucks and i thought that was weird... then my dad sadi.. its all management by you liz. i said oh.. then i thought rob could carpool with soemone lol. i was wondering how union carried 12k a year taxes...

i am guilty of gossip.. but more of to hear like what happend. like the percocet nurse. or the med nurse who screwed up. but i dotn mind my daily dose of gossip really. it has to be good. like sex, drugs... not rock and roll i dotn care about that...

my brother in laws have the ugliest kid - jason. hes not a little ugly. hes alot. and he doesnt even seem bright to me. i mean ive held him and he plays.. but hes a year now and hes not even fun. hes super heavy so its even annoying to hold him. plus hes always dressed badly. i mean hes just baby.. but come on.

i know boys choices are limited.. but im still janie and jacking the boy out. i actually think its easier to find cute boys clothes for less b/c theyre less intricate anyway. the girls with the silk and bows and crinolin ...

still glad i had my girl.

and i found a matching pottery barn kids boys and girls and baby/ infant and toddler bedding choices that match. it just came out for the fall and im getting it. that way kates bed can be a toddler bed and with the bedding and then his can be the crib with the same type of bedding. the accents with it are either blue gingham or pink gingham. so perfect. its the alphabet with animals. i think theyll both like it. so excited.

btw the new thought with trench coats in the summer in the city is bombs now. not guns. but if see something i say something. (thats the nyc subways motto. if you see something - like a box unattended.. or suspicious activity call 911. they have whole activation. and i called once driving over the brooklyn bridge and 2 range rovers of the same make and model were abandoned at the foot of the bridge. i was committed and couldnt get off because i was on the on ramp and theres no turning back but i drove as if the bridge was going to fall behind me while dialing 911. it was when i drove into the city. i dont know what cam eof it and the bridge didnt fall down. so its all good.

that girl annmarie maybe a loose cannon, shes very street and she told me shes friends with administrator keisha whom im very wary of. i of course said nothing of that.. but either way, i figure the more people like you the better. an d we did laugh our asses off.

hey listen i said theres nothing wrong with an old german woman. i just think dr b is looking for a looker. a polished one. the girl he dated when i saw her picture i was like maybe you shudve put up with the crazy... and then i said hmm i wonder if shes still single maybe ill give her a call.

she was hot. steven. really. and most importnantly her face was pretty it wasnt just abody.

and yes men like women who take care of them hence the cleaning lady. and im sure shes attractive. and maybe she shouldve married the rich guy. let her stop cleaning and be comfortable. and him dying a year later? omg paydirt. if he was old im sure sex wasnt going to be an issue. and how long could he go? come on.

btw i like that you were going to pimp out your MOM. nice steven.

i think ym next marriage will be for money. the 1st is always for love. stupid stupid.

anyway im only having kids with rob. i dotn know if i told you i cant deal with the baby daddies thing. i told him he could have more kids with his next bitch.. b ut im having all of mine with him. he laughed and said ok. we told his parents at disney. i give them credit they laughed instead of being horrified.

as for dr b i dotn think hes desperate. i think hes looking. and if she seems to be hot and takes care of him i think he will find that attractive. if that cleaning girl isd pretty she could quite possibly be the mrs b. and well i do hope he finds soemone soon. hell be 40 this fall so its time really.

kim is still chasing him and trying to make a play. and i know its all dead in the water to him. but i cant get involved anymore. im just trying to be supportive of her. as you said. and she asked me to put ina good word with him and i said that ihad already several times. and she said oh.

dr b. he said when i asked about the blank checks.. he wanted to know what i was willing to do... i deflected and said he got to be around me. but i know he was trying to get me to say soemthing. you can guess what i think he was trying to say...

hed need to pay ,me more than $800.. i could the n supplement my income with hosp work... hmm. this might be a plan steve. ill cook and clean. bring my kid while hes n ot there.. laundry... this might be a good thing. its right near me too. its the next town over. 10 min in the minvan.

i actually thought dr b would be a good contact b/c i think he may want to open his own walk in clinic... and if that was the case.. i could work there. were well trained, and if it turned ugly we would have emergency equipment and set them up to transfer to the hosp. i feel i have good triage skills. i actually feel at home in triage. b/c its like im looking listening to the story seeing the vitals the symptoms... and i can ballaprk it. and im more cuatious than not. im not cocky. i feel like ok wheres the worst place we can go? and i treat them as if thats where theyre going. if its less were covered.

dr b has alot of freinds. alot more than me. and alot of them are chicks. so i think hes covered in the friends dept. i promise.

meanhwile the governor is trying to force con ed union to coem in.. deal with the storm.. work till all repairs are done and then if the contract isnt settled be locked out again. so i said to my dad isnt the levergae the union has? what is that? they could keep calling you in as te,mp workers then. he said i know its against the by laws of the national. so well have to call them. he said well see who goes in...

i think con ed should have to deal with this mess by themselves. since theyre so smart.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
oh btw steven, were supposed to have horrific thunderstorms and tornados so we could lose power. after the storm if were without power.. i will be heading to somewhere i hope. although we are little broke from buying the mattress... so we may not be now that im thinking of it. ill get back in touch with you asap of course. and ill keep answering you while we have power...
oh did you try making the sauce with the contadina tomatoes?

oh another easy fast recipe... to dip fresh fruit..

1 (8 oz.) container strawberry cream cheese
1 (16 oz.) jar marshmallow fluff

Soften cream cheese, blend in marshmallow fluff. Use as a dip with fresh fruit.

people love this. i sometimes have to make more at the party.

I just wrote this huge post and the whole thing erased. Tell you what . I will give you bullet point highlights as information only, so you do not get an accept button. Then you can start a new question if you wish. I can't believe it. It was really long too!

  • Hope you do not have any issues with the hurricane. It rained here a lot and was pretty bad. But I hope your house is built of brick and you luck out and do not have to go anywhere.
  • Kate is cute..."my bother". Well, from what I can tell, they are.
  • I did have the dip a couple of times and my brother in law is into seafood and hot peppers so I haven't had a chance to make the sauce correctly.
  • Your father is a union way is he, or the other ones, going to return to work because the governor said so. I can imagine this will be used as leverage to not go back to work and to pressure ConEd.
  • We have union management neighbors. They must clear close to 200k between them. I have no doubt the ConEd managers can afford your neighborhood, although 12k in taxes; that nearly made me choke.
  • Why don't you tell me what you really feel about Jason? lol
  • NY living and worrying about if the black SUV is a terrorists tool. No way! That is too stressful. I will take my PA living over that stress. Wow.
  • You sound fascinated with Dr b and his ex girlfriend. Really hot huh? Like who does she look like?
  • Forget nursing. You should be dr b's live in maid. With you as his motivator he could make a lot more and you can live in luxury and relax. And as far as what he wants you to do as a fringe benefit. Ah, no...But in all seriousness I do think that the idea of a private office is a good one. Bring it up to him; see what he says.
  • Sorry for the fragmented post; best I could do after the huge erasure.
  • Steve (see the N erased too)
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hey steven will start new question...
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
anyway i walked like 5 city blocks to find the drs office and it was up 8 stairs. and i have the carriage. so i had to lift it up these stairs that were so narrow you wouldnt believe it.

so we wait 40 min for the dr. we get in and the babys in the same freaking position as he was last time and they cant see the heart. so theyre doing the other systems and the kidney is still with the fluid.. and they tell me walk for 30 min. meanwhile poor kate had to sit in the stroller this whole time again a good 90 min after 90 min in the carseat driving. so i finally let her out and i go tthe bathroom and awhile later theyre like lay on this side and theyre trying to move the baby and well... they see the heart. i dont think they got the best study.. but they said they didnt see anything. and they re confiormed it was a boy. he had a sono tech do it all except the heart where he came in to do it for the 2nd round. i really thought they were going to say to come back and i was going o flip honestly. i had the thought i was going to force him to do an amnio on the spot if there was anything wrong... and then call my dad to get us if that was the case. if the dr said i should. if not.. well i was going to keep it to myself. anyway im 23 weeks.. so soon will be viable.

i finally got home after rob had gotten nasty with me before th drs office.. when i couldnt figure out which way to walk and i called him and told him the cross streets i was at 3 times and he said well i dont know where you are. i said fine i have to go. i dotn have time foir this bullshit. and i hung up. i mean steven im runnign driving all day 6 months preg with a toddler and he cant figure out my cross streets. i drove home in 90 min of fri rush hour traffic and didnt call him after and he didnt call me either to find out if the babys ok. i guess he figured id call if soemthing was really wrong.. but i was there til like after 5 and my appointment was at 3.. but due to all the delays.. it was 510 when i left. i finally got hoime - 630pm or so.. whole body killing em and realized we left at 9am. .

drb. his girlfriend is hot. i told you that. jern said she looks like you liz... she doesnt look like me. hoinestly shes just another blonde. she was in the really short skin tight dress thats a club dress.

he mentioned he wanted to open a walk in emergency clinic. or a botox store front. i said let me know when. if rob has benefits i can do that. i could be the head nurse and frankly id run that place like gangbusters. i worked in a drs office. i just dotn want to do billing.

but the place wou;l.d be sparkling and well run i think.

and yes we pay 12k to the town in taxes. its for my kids school. i dotn care. its like 9k in school and 3k for the town to do garbage and library and pool maintenance.. road maintencance some to steal.. i dotn care. when i call the town.. they answer. i cant say the same for n y. c

they used to nevert pick up our garbage and wed call and theyd be like yeah theyre coming. really? when? its 2 days past garbage day. and the garbage trucks here are clean.

our neighborhood is ok but not the greatest.. and rob and i make like 200k or so. we both think we make more thna most people here.. so why do we have the smaller house? yeah i dotn know either.

our house is not brick. its siding. so fo all i know its glued to gether of sawdust. i wouldnt be shocked if it was...

The stress of getting to the doctor's office and the all day effort and exertion didn't sound too fun, and the fighting with Rob about streets, that had to be hard too. I hate to laugh at anything you write that isn't a joke, but that cross streets conversation sounds like something I would experience too with my wife.

But hey: Good news...the baby is okay and although there is fluid around the kidney still it doesn't sound like anything is wrong. And that has to be encouraging!

Jenn says that dr B's girlfriend or ex or whatever looks like you? But You say she is just some blonde in a club dress. Now someone is nor perceiving this correctly. But at least your girlfriend gave you a very indirect complement...cause the woman is really good looking.

I think you and Dr b would make an excellent team and you would manage the place well. He could easily make a lot of money doing what he is talking about and it certainly would be less stressful than the nightmare of work you are now in. That is food for thought, for certain.

Wow, you do pay a lot in school and property tax. I am not sure why I picture your house as this big brick home, but I know it is a wood frame. And, do you ever look around your neighborhood and ask yourself what you are doing wrong? I do. I think it must be that other people's families help them out. Yours do not, but then again, all that you have is yours and no one can make claim that you got anything except by your own merit. Steven

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