Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

Should I be upset with my husband because he allows his

adult children to be rude...
Should I be upset with my husband because he allows his adult children to be rude to me (stepmom) in our home?
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 5 minutes by:
7/18/2012
Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
Verified
Heidi LPC :

Hi there! I hope to be of some help to you here tonight... it sounds like a very upsetting situation and you are somewhat left without support...


Heidi LPC :

You ask if you "should be upset with" your husband; this isn't a question of should or should not, as I see it, but that you are upset and need to find some middle ground with your husband on what you are willing and not willing to tolerate in terms of disrespect from either him or his children.


Heidi LPC :

You have the right to be treated with respect within the family, and you have the right to ask your husband for his support. You also have the right to choose not to surround yourself with people who make you feel badly, and to try to work on building relationships with those you care about.


Heidi LPC :

Step-families offer an opportunity to become family through love; they also present certain challenges and even sometimes a "competitive" aspect that puts parents in the middle of a subconscious battle for attention and affection. By possibly communicating that you love your husband and that you understand that his children hold a very special place in his heart, and so you refuse to get into any battle of wills with the kids and will just quietly walk away... you are actually holding onto your own power in the dynamic. It will be up to your husband to make the attempt to bridge the gap or not... but you are left on neutral ground. And there is dignity and safety there!


Heidi LPC :

Express your desire for peace and for everyone to get along respectfully, ***** ***** "what you give attention to is ultimately what you get more of"... so pay lots of attention to the things they do that you like, and ignore as much of the rest as you can. You might just begin to see the negative behavior begin to subside ovee time with this approach.


Heidi LPC :

I see that you are offline; I will wait for any reply or further questions, and will respond back as soon as I can! We can continue conversing until you feel that you have the answers you need. Until then, take good care of yourself! Thank you for your question! :-)


Heidi LPC :

Hello! My screen says that you are now in the chat... any thoughts on my ideas?


Heidi LPC :

Again, thank you for using the site and I hope to hear back from you soon if there is anything more I can do to assist you! My goal is to provide excellent service; let me know if there is anything further that I can assist you with! :-)

Customer: Thank you so much for your time Heidi .
Heidi LPC :

It is my pleasure!!


Customer: I just don't understand why my husband won't ask his adult kids about their attitudes and tell them their are not being very nice. When I give them gifts I know they like--instead of simply saying "thank you" ---they just look at me, like I'm stupid.
Customer: I've never know grown kids so mean and hurtful
Customer: My husband explodes at me when I mention the matter. I'm just trying to understand them.
Heidi LPC :

It will be up to you to teach them how to treat you. If they are unkind in their responses to gifts, it may be time to stop giving gifts... or you can give them gifts, but expect nothing in return. Sadly, we can only really change our own responses and reactions... but, you have every right to ask how he sees their reactions. Does he see nothing wrong with their treatment of you?


Customer: The kids have basically told their father if he stays with me---they ignor him.
Heidi LPC :

They are trying to manipulate him and take control and power... and it is his choice to either take the bait or express his own desires and stand up to them. It is hard to be a victim of circumstance in this way as you are... no doubt...


Customer: He just says their are young. And there is nothing he can do . I love this man but cannot handle his sticking his head in the sand
Customer: He cannot see the manipulation
Heidi LPC :

This is a choice you will have to make... to tolerate it, or to put down boundaries.


Heidi LPC :

This decision doesn't have to be made tonight, but it will help you to keep this idea in mind as you manage through for awhile. It is a choice... and you have the power to choose.


Heidi LPC :

I see that you are offline now: I will save this discussion in Q & A format so that we can continue again sometime if you'd like! I will be going offline for the evening, but will check back in the morning to see if you have replied! Until then, my very best to you!


Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
Verified
Heidi LPC and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Heidi LPC Your Own Question
Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
278 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor

Heidi LPC is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

4,021 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
Been to many doctors over the past year and everything comes
Been to many doctors over the past year and everything comes back normal. One said Its my anxiety causing all my physical symptoms. What are some physical symptoms of anxiety… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
768 satisfied customers
My daughter is a sociopath. How to deal with her?
How to deal with a sociopath daughter? She is 24, lives at home. She constantly makes up these crazy lies, whether it is to her friends or her family. When we talk to her, she shows no emotion, never … read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,021 satisfied customers
I put in a question earlier and it was directed to a legal
I put in a question earlier and it was directed to a legal professsional but I would like to know from the mental health side if I am thinking correctly about getting my daughter therapy for all that … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
794 satisfied customers
I have sever PTSD and panic attacks. As of late they have
I have sever PTSD and panic attacks. As of late they have become debilitating. I'm having to skip work. Nightmares almost every night. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Is there a psychiatric diagnosis for someone, as an example
Is there a psychiatric diagnosis for someone, as an example a nurse, who fabricates and/or exaggerates situations or a patient's symptoms in order to gain attention for “handling” and/or “resolving” t… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,021 satisfied customers
I have a question about derealization. story short i had
i have a question about derealization. Long story short i had anxiety for years/still do. I was prescribed some sort of benzo and took it as needed for some years. Sometimes i would take this daily fo… read more
Dr. Vikas
Dr. Vikas
Associate Professor
M.D (Psychiatry)
33 satisfied customers
My Dr. took me off xanax that I have been in for 15years,
My Dr. took me off xanax that I have been in for 15years, cold turkey, I can stand it. I also keep testing positive for meth. I am not on meth, I tried it years ago and my horrible anxiety will not to… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
794 satisfied customers
I had been on Ativan for awhile because of severe anxiety.
I had been on Ativan for awhile because of severe anxiety. My psychiatrist recently switched me to klonopin to help with the weaning process. I still seem to have anxiety and nausea. Is this a common … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
I suffer from OCD, anxiety and depression. My OCD manifests
Hello Everyone,I suffer from OCD, anxiety and depression. My OCD manifests itself in several ways: religious, bad thoughts, health anxiety, running over someone with my car...it's awful!For the past m… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
Leah,how are you? I have been doing a lot better with
Hi Leah,how are you? I have been doing a lot better with controlling the compulsions but I had a trigger yeasterday after watching a tv dissociative amesia this is not what's happened to me?… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
768 satisfied customers
I think I have some form of an obsession linked with extreme
I think I have some form of an obsession linked with extreme jealousy for the past 6 years. I am really jealous of my boyfriend's family. I do not want him to see them or spend time with them at all. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
There's a psychological term used for a tactic one uses
There's a psychological term used for a tactic one uses during arguments where one person attempts to withdraw and the other follows them from room to room, blocks them from leaving a room, blocks tv,… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
768 satisfied customers
I'm an only child and my parents live overseas. I'm married
I'm an only child and my parents live overseas. I'm married with a beautiful daughter who just turned one. Every time my mother comes to visit me, she stays with us for a few weeks. A few days before … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I am a 25 year old male Earlier I was attracted only to
I am a 25 year old male Earlier I was attracted only to women. I broke up with my girlfriend. But now days I am attracted to men as well. And I prefer dressing like a women. I am confused as why it is… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
768 satisfied customers
Dueck - Living here in the country of Belize. I think it's
My name is***** - Living here in the country of Belize. I think it's verbal abuse that I experienced for many years. Not from my marriage partner. I have been thinking that I suffer from trauma. Just … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I'd like to know about my confidentiallity rights before
Hi, I'd like to know about my confidentiallity rights before describing my situation. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Are you? marryann as you are fully aware my intrusive
Hi are you? marryann as you are fully aware my intrusive thought is 'what if i killied someone in past and forgotten' and the compulsive nature is reviewing my past memories! What I what to know is I'… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,021 satisfied customers
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little of each? Im an insecure anxious attachment type for sure.... i always need reassurance and stuff from my gf... my gf in the beginning was alr… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,021 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x