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Steven Olsen, Therapist
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hi for steven olsen. hi steven. i had an issue at work last

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hi for steven olsen. hi steven. i had an issue at work last night. i dotn know how much trouble ill be in. dr a and i had a run in. and he got very mad at me and cursed at me.
anyway ill start at the stupid beginning. i take over alot of pts 9 in fact. and have no aide. so im working under protest. im getting slammed. and no ones talking to me and im essentially alone. i have a pt that another er dr from days into evenings wants to d/c. the pt is a chronic alcoholic. i go tot he pt and he has multiple complaints doesnt want to leave and wants to see the md. i go back to that md and tell him this. he says well hes fine he can go. before i can go and try to argue with the guy, the dr comes back and says lets keep him for a few more hrs - let him get soem ivf. i told dr a about him if theres any issues. so i see dr a and were all kind of there and i know the day shift dr is telling him about him. so i have alot of work. this happened either 10 or 11pm. at aroun d 2am the guy is still sleeping and i didnt go back due to my workload. so i tell dr a we gotta get him going is ok to do it now? he says you know what? have pat the male lpn do it, hes good at pushing these people. (hes mean btw.) so like 30 min goes by and i follow up and say did you ask pat? or shud i? to dr a. dr a says oh dont worry about it its all taken care of hes leaving in the am. so im like ok.. im busy and finally it slows at about 4 am. the pt still sleeping at 5am i start doing rounds and doing vitals. i do him last at 615am, and his vitals r ok b ut he says i need to go to the bathroom. he starts to get up and is unsteady. i assist him to and from the bathroom. i tell dr a. i think hes unsteady. dr a gets really mad. and i slike why i she still here? so dr b not being there the dr whos female who talks to everyone like theyre stupid is there. and she happens to be co director or something of the er. so she calls me over (and she can get very rude..) and i explain that i discussed it with the day shift dr with dr a and i explain everything i said above .. so she say says well i shudve gotten securoty to get him out of here... so im like why would i do that if the er md is saying he can stay a few hrs? i also tell her he didnt seem all there and she tells me has a brain injury. and she says dotn you know him? so i said no, ive never had him. so shes liek hes here 6 days a week. i said ok ive never
have had him a s apt... asim telling the story to the female dr dr a is on the phone and says - mouthing to me and he pointed with an angry face - thats bullshit. so i say, i hope youre not cursing at me. so the female dr says what? i said he just mouthed thats bullshit to me. so she said well i didnt hear him. i said no b/c hes sitting in the chair behind you mouthing it to me. after he gets off the phone dr a is agitated and is like this is a problem with this nurse all the time. i shouldve stayed on top of her about getting this guy out. so i said ive discusse dit several times with you. so she says we need to more effectivelt communicate as a team. i said i have been communicating. she also say swell you cant just throw elizabeth under the bus shes never had this pt before. and tells me the pt has a brain injury. i aid ok, well he seemed off.. she says yeah cuz hes missing half his brain...dr a storms away and i say to her that im very insulted by what happened here. so she says im going to speak with him.
so then i gave report and i went to tell peter about what happened and 1st peter said.. how was your vac? i was confused by this and said i wasnt on vac i was out sick. so he said did you have a good time? so i said well not really i have a hematoma in my uterus thats bleeding and ive been worried im going to lose the baby. he doesnt empasize with this.. and i feel like im talking to a tree branch. i tell him im almost 6 months and dotn want to lose the baby now (im really only 5 1/2 half but whatever..) and that i have to see a hi risk ob to watch this bleeding hematoma. so he says oh so you may be out for a few months. you may have to fill out the
(fmla) forms again. so im like well i hope not. i want to work. i asked for them to put me back.
i finally get to the whole story, and hes like ok lizzie have a good night. i said ok and i mention i documeted closely to real time when everything happened/ and was said. so hes like ok ill find out the story from dr a. so then he says i know you and him have complaints baout each other. so i say what do you mean? (i dotn say this.. i dotn recall me telling peter i had complaints about dr a honestly.) so he say syou guys have complaint sbaout each other. so i said how do you know? and he says i know.
now im like ok. and i walk towards the time clock. my head is reeling from that last statement. does that mean dr a complains about me behind my back and then i dont know anything about it? but wouldnt peter call me in
Hi, I am a Moderator for this topic. I sent your requested Professional a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.

I read this carefully. The situation here is not as bad as you might think. I believe there are two issues going on here, maybe three.

First off: Peter: The man does not care, one way or another, about how this turns out with nursing personnel; you included. That isn't terrible (just pathetic), as he clearly is not involved with people, only things and how things are running. You fill a role for him, a shift. So long as you are in it, or he knows what to fill in that slot, he's happy. He does not care if you were out ill, or on vacation or dead. He just wants to know if he needs to fill slot with a body and if the paperwork is okay.


You being pregnant is just a fact to him, and an unimportant one for him at that. As long as you show up to work, or he knows to cover for you, and don't cause him to look badly, no problem.


Dr A and Peter. I can tell that Peter really is not invested in what happened to you and Dr a. I know his (Peter's) type, and he is just talking. I doubt he ever heard anything or much of anything about you. If he did, it was minor. He just wants to look informed, and this is a half-hearted way to make it look like he pays any attention to the interactions of the people he manages.


Again, he does not care about people, only the running of the unit. I would not go into whether or not Peter is hearing stuff about you from Dr A. I doubt it; really, really doubt it. He may have heard Dr A grumbling, and he (dr A) is in full blown melt down from his own stress, and he is displacing it all onto you. Last night was just a sample of how he does not handle things well. He was wrong, and I was grateful that another person stuck up for you. I am telling you he will eventually cross the line with you or someone else and explode. Then he will get in trouble. Just wait for it. He is a bomb waiting to go off. If this was not you, it would be someone else.


Your dad is right about his whole thing. Ignore this as a part of dealing with the goofballs at work. This dr A and Peter stuff is meaningless to them. Dr a will see this series of events only as his personal yell at a nurse because he is a doctor. He doesn't care about facts, only his own power. (...Starting to really see why his wife hates him? He is an abuser. This is also why she wanted his license. She hates him for this trait. He's mean, and corrosive to others.)


Just act professional with him. Distant, but professional, and bide your time. He will explode, if not on you, someone else. This is no fun, but he is acting in great pathology and the best part is that you did not do wrong here. I would tell you so. The other female doctor sees him as he is. She can't stand his male ego either.


Liz, I know you miss Kate and feel badly that you are away and she is hurting. But you are doing what you have to do for the family right now. If she was more ill you would be there for her. This digestive stuff will eventually go away and kate will be fine, but for you...I would like you to see this situation as it is. This was a professional melt down. It was not you. You did not know this patient was like this or was an extreme frequent flyer. You got caught in the middle.

And Peter is not hearing vast info on Dr a or about you. He is aware that there is some heat between you and is acting this way for his own reasons. This too is not about you and it is career harmless. He is self centered and not, I really doubt at all, hearing anything from a source, nurse or otherwise.


This feels big but it is not to Peter or Dr a. They are for lack of a better word, abusers, each in a different way. One is neglectful, the other, a verbal and emotional abuser who hates women. It is obvious to me.


You are hurt and frustrated over this childishness. I would be too. But, the situation will not always be as such. Take care of you. Try to see this as their issues and Forget this (they have) and move on. You were victimized, but are not their victim. You are a good nurse and mother. So, fire that emotional dragon that sits in your mind telling you that this is your fault or that something will come out of this. It will not. And Peter...he would have told you ages ago if this was a real issue. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hi steve, i was just on teh phone with my lawyer and she told me to just say that i reported the pts concerns and what was going on and then i followed their orders and my documentation reflects that. she said dont elaborate any further. i said ok.
i have to get ready for work. i havent eaten and im dressed or anything due to the time i spent with her on the phone.

i guess i will let you know what happenes tomorrow. i am very much not looking forward to this. but im going to try t stay out of his way and just act normal to the best of my ability. theres always a bathroom i can cry in..

im just tired of being everyones kicking stone when i did everythin g he said. and i feel like its a pattern that is attracted to me.

the female dr i think is on his side. they stick together. i mean she did say you cant just throw her under the bus but she came at me hard with questions and get slike adog with a bone. i was going to tell her you know, i was questioned for 4 hrs about a checkbox and i still didnt admit it. so lets see whos crazier?

i m afraid of retaliation from dr a now if he does get spoken to. i dont know if he really will. but.. either way im afraid and he knows i called him out on the cursing thing.


You didn't do anything wrong. You did what was asked of you and this is on Dr A...not you. And if he says anything to you can simply say that you do not mind being talked to about a situation, but you do mind being cursed and treated unprofessionally, especially as a female nurse receiving this abuse from a male doctor. I guarantee that option, although nuclear, is an unconscious deterrent to him, and he will try to ignore this situation too.

I would be shocked if he pushed this in any way other than ignoring it, or if he is truly intelligent about what he did, an apology. ( I doubt that one.)

The female doctor will be supportive of her own profession, but don't be fooled. She is a tough cookie and she didn't get that way from taking it from guys like dr a. She knows what it is like to be hurt by these types. She will support you if he goes off the edge. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hi steve. had a busy night. dr a was there. he took only 1 pt of mine. and it was a triage of a level 4 that was going to be like a 5 min thing. so it was a nurses aide who was drawing urine from a foley catheter and she stuck her self with the needle with the urine of course. so the hosp policy i sthat any needlstick is lab draws. well he didnt order them. so i said also we need drs who are assigned to the pt determine what testing is needed due to the pts risk. so i call the nsg super and i said this is weird b/c usually a needlestick is blood and urine is a splash i injury. so i said the er md wants to d/c the pt but he hasnt followed the policy. so i said do you agree with that? so she says whos the er md? so i tell her dr a. and she makes a noise and says no. forget itr. i just said uh huh. and i documented that in the chart. cuz he doesnt even know the policy? its like the same everywhere. i think its mandated by osha.
either way he walked past me but didnt say anything. the other dr. dr m.. hes very nice and has a nice personality, i dsay hes one of the most liked drs there. and i didnt talk too much to him either.

it was pretty busy and as usualy i had the most amt of pts. i had sick pts and icu pts. it was a clusterf**k.

i was ready with my doreen answers. she told me i obviously dont have a legal/ license issue, but thsi could be a employment issue and told me to call a union rep. she said they could try to say i was insubordinate. i said i still did as i was told.

i was supposed to be with bully nurse.. and i was excited about that as jen wa son the other side and i didnt want to work with her b/c i know she d be like i cant walk my back, im hurting etc. and guess what. me too. not as bad as her.. but i have my own problems. so they took bully nurse from me "for a few minutes' which turned inot several hours. i had a period of time where if you cna imagine.. i got 6 pts in 20 min. by my self. i called the charge nurse and was like no really? and hes like im taking soem of them. i was like yeah whatever. i still got 3, and thats still pretty bad.

she finally cam eback after 5 hrs. can u believe that? not her fault the charge nurses of course. she comes and is like if youre bleeding you better sit. this is crazy liz. and esp with losing the last baby. i said i have no choice whihc is completely the truth. she did ask me quite a few times if i needed help and go sit down. but both of us ran all night. i told her what happened with dr a. and she said to me holy shit liz. way to go. you stood up for yourself and you documented it? well that saved your ass. i said yeah i hope. doreen suggested to me that they may try to say they never said that and why am i documenting that? whihc totally makes me crazy b/c id be back in the falsification of medical records. and im already with an issue with that. as you know. so she says well that makes me wary of him. i said you shud be wary of him. hell lie. hes a liar.

i also told her what peter said about the did you enjoy your vac? and she said whoa good ans. she said i wouldve been totally taken aback. i said i was kind of shocked. we tlaked privately so we couldnt finish but shes back tonight and ill tell her the rest. jen was there and came by me and bully nurse several times and talked with me i was always busy and im on hold and shes blabbering. she told me she was starving and nauseated. so she drank a whole bunch of orange juices. i said why? she said i dotn know but i had to. i sad thats a lot of acid - the juice at the hosp is super acidic. well then jen coems and tells me shes been vomiting. she threw up all the juice. im going to tell you steven, im getting hammered and im preg and running and bleeding. on and off but still. and to have jen dragging me down is like.. my god already. i cant deal with it.

and i didnt tell jen about dr a. nothing. she came and helped me by doing 2 meds for a pt while i was getting slammed. i think it may have been an ass kissing attempt. i didnt help her with crap as she seemed to have alot more time than i did. shell be off tonite im sure. so.. oh well.

so you really think that peter doesnt really know anything about me and dr a?

i went in to work and i pretended like nothing happened and just did my job. wendy told me to stop dwelling on it, b/c she thinks theyre not.

i did have the thought what if they make me and dr a sit down and talk? or have to apologize ot each other or soem crap that will just make me angry. i mean i was together when dr a lost it. i didnt tear up[ or cry, i got even more upset when peter didnt say right away i did the right thing. and the comment of dr a and i having problems. '

i mean f**k.

that female dr.. well shes a bitch on wheels. which alot fo people say she is. the other older female dr i think is more of what you say. like shes fo the drs, but if he really went crazy - she wud stick up for me. b/c shes a hard ass. i hope dr a doesnt lose it on me. let it be another nurse and he shud leave me out of it.

my dad told me the irish (no stereo types here lol... he onmly gets this from dr a's last name...) arfe very moody people. he said im delaing with them since im a kid. and he said theyre real nice soem days and douchebags other days. and it has nothing to do with you. i didnt try to argue with my father b/c... whats the point? colleen was like if they ask you anything you just say my personal opinions dotn cloud my professional judgement and your goal at work is to work and thats its.

the one pt dr a had with me he threw the papers on ym desk - i could tell by the way they were skewed on my desk. i told dan and dan said just keep moving ffast enough to be a moving target. he said ti will be shitty for a while. and then you guy swill get over it. i said dan... heres the thing, i worked at another hosp that i ahd a run in with a surgeon who was rude to me.. and we didnt talk for the 8 yrs i worked there. im not kidding. yes i held that grudge.

tonight im hoping dr a is not on. lets just hope. hes not supposed to be but i know he does ot.

and what do i tell dr b? i was thinking nothing. and i felt so stupid that dr a prob told dr m all about our blow up, so im sure he may think soem bad things of me...whihc sucks b/c me and him have never had a run in.

wendy keeps encouraging me almost to find a non hosp setting. that it may be too much for me anymore. i felt like saying do you think im soft? i cant handle it? wendy told me yest just stay low, do you rwork.

i was thinking i may just have to leave there. who wants to work here.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
oh dont you think dr b wud tajk dr as' side?
oh and while im calling and going thsi all thsi crap yest tmm goea and texts me hi a few imd s

Fun at the hospital...not.


I didn't think Dr a would say anything to you. I addition to arrogance and narcissism he is a childish man. Not talking to you is right up his alley, and good for you. Perhaps he will leave you alone a bit more, but in a good way. Count your blessings if he ignores you.


You really got slammed and Bully Nurse was removed from you, and then had all the patient's yourself? Not only is that unfair to you, it is dangerous to the patients. No one can do all that by themselves!


And you did right in documenting the incident last night. Even if they would say, why did you write this in the chart, the fact is that few to no people would bother to write such things if they were not true. And, they do not know about your past documentation issue, so it would be a new behavior for them to evaluate...and honestly it would not look good for Dr A. In the long run I am sure they would poo-poo the entire thing as minimal, but the point that you wrote it out is excellent. There is no perfect situation here, but it improves your odds of looking good that you wrote it at the time.

I agree with Bully Nurse. Good for you. And it seems that Dr A's entourage of admirers is decreasing each day. He will self destruct. It is just a matter of time.


Sometimes with people like Jen you need to try your very best to avoid them until your own crisis and stress time is past. She is a weight around your neck that you do not need, plus she is not opposed to having you, already ill and tired, helping her deal with her issues. Honestly, she seems to not have an ounce of common sense either. Orange juice for stomach problems? What has she been thinking? Maybe you could carry some Thai pepper salsa and chips for her next time, since the OJ was only marginally effective in making her ill. What a nut she is.


I really do think Peter is so wrapped up in himself that he cannot see anyone else. He, I am certain, did not hear anything about you. He said these things to cover his butt and make himself look like he has the pulse of the hospital. He knows nothing. Look, he didn't even know you were on medical leave...what is he going to recall about dr a and you if that huge thing escapes him? Answer: nothing. As long as you show up for work he will be fine.


You and Dr a sitting down together? I doubt anyone will make that suggestion because Wendy is right on. They already forgot about this. I hate to say it but doctor and nurse issues, unless it is a public knock down drag out screaming fight will be seen as not important.


The truth is they do not care if he or you like each other or get along, as long as money is being made and the patients are not seeing the conflicts. Peter is not going to praise you or give you any reinforcement. He is not about that; he is about, himself. I wouldn't even go there in your mind as he will never give you the kudos you deserve. This is not you. It is simply him. He would not praise Dorothea Dix or Clara Barton if they worked for him.


The Irish, moody? Not sure if that is true as I know some moody Irish, Polish and Italians as well as others. Who knows why people there are so moody, but I can say that you are doing what you need to, and as long as you remember to say that everything you do is related to professional behavior or judgment, and that you leave your own opinions out of it, you'll be fine. Really.


Surgeons are not doctors in terms of emotional psychology. You know Freud had special comments for them as he thought they were the most insane of the professions... as they simply sublimated anger into a professional choice? Of course you did not talk to this surgeon for years. Surgeons are different. I do think Dr a will forget about this issue quickly, if not already. Just act professional with him, and indeed this will pass.


I trust Dr b to be Dr b. So, I would not tell him anything about the dr A thing. Dr b is nice, but he has a few emotional issues and he seems to be a "doctor before other professionals" kind of guy. Although he may sympathize, I do not feel that this is an issue you want to trust with him. Plus if dr a asks, which I majorly doubt, you will have plausible "denyability".


You are not soft; you're stressed. Look at where you work! You have a crazy job; crazy coworkers and health issues on top of being almost 6 months pregnant. Give yourself a break. If you were 100% it would still be hard. Wait until the baby comes and then you can decide what to do. You may feel much differently about this job once the baby is here, either totally for, or totally against. Plus, it would not be shameful to leave this role for something better. You always wanted something more anyway. So, no problems there. Just give yourself some time.


TMM, the man has grim timing, for certain. Steven














Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
well steve getting ready for my 3rd night. i feel too tired. and not ready for this nonsense again of course.
i think dr a and i will not be speaking for a long time. like i wouldnt be able to even say how long but i know that im not getting over this soon.

yeah bully nurse is back tonigt so i wouldnt mind being with her. at least i know if ask her for help shell help me.

i think peter make sup his mind in snap judgements. and once your not on his good list... well youre not. i think jen and i are not on his good list. jen complained she didnt wnat to work with thsi nurse whos philopeno named geraldine. geraldine is snotty. anyway jen complained shes rude etc and i think geraldine complained jen is slow. anyway you d think hed keep them separated, or at least not purposely put them together. but sure enough they were together last night. jen said make sure you dont tell peter shit like that b/c he twists the knife. i believe it. i try not to tell him anything really. i do not believe he thought i was on vacation. my dad hit the nail on the head whne he said he was saying that sarcastically. and you shouldve answered all the bad things that happened to you while you were on "vacation"....

i def kept up that feud with the surgeon too. big time. not that he ever attempted to talk to me. but i sure as hell didnt either. we had residents. i mean usually i spoke to a pts residents and attending dr. but if the resident was a shit, id call the intern. and if they were boith shits id call the attending. it was easier to skin a cat b/c i had diff ways to circumvent people there really. at my old hosp where i was in the er dept. well the er drs there were so awesome. and im tlaking everyone of them really i cant even think of one in my 3 months that i didnt like working with. and they all told me i was doing a great job. and the nurses said the same thing. but i got like a 72 on the exam.. so too stupid to work there. meanwhile if they made any of those nurses take that exam thered be a whole bunch of 32's im sure. i took it with veyr smart icu nurses who said the class was super hard and it wasnt fair to put soemone witha few months experience into a class like that with no icu eperience as the icu id still diff than the er. oh well. you cant go back. but i can think of like6 or 7 drs whom i havent thought of in forever that i just really liked. only the director i wasn t too fond of but he only saw pts few and far between. oh well no matter i guess.

wendy has been saying ig guess due to my nerves anxiety and issues with the state that i shouldnt even work in ahosp anymore. i like wendy but.. well i dont think that really the best advice. i mean she cud be supportive ina sense that like i shud do what i want to do.. but to coem out and say the hosp setting isnt for me anymore.. well it makes me feel like im a f**k up. i dotn know if i am or not really.

id like to work ambulatory surgery. you can do 12 hrs.. and its all people who had minor procedures who are going to eat their cookie drink soem juice and alreayd have stupid transport set up to get them hell home. you pull the iv, get them to wlak a little and then put them in a wheelchair and get them inot the car and get them the hell out of there. easy peasy. esp the d/c side. i dont know if they make you flat between both sides.. but at the admission side you just pop a line have the chart ready with teh pre op checklist and then stand there and tlak to the other nurses. again not sick people who cant change etc. and someones there with the majority of them. b/c thats the same moron whos going tot take them home.

i always wanted to be an er nurse. so i didnt really have any other plans. this was the plan. sigh. its really raining hard here and i relaized i have like no gas.. so i have to go and get dressed.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
oh and tmm wrote during the day.. arent you ever going to talk to me again...?

If Dr a is this petty, that he plays "don't talk to me" games after a conflict of this magnitude...then he is being outrageously immature. And, if he only talks to you out of a professional need, then fine. Again, I feel he is an abuser, and is volatile and explosive. He has too much emotional baggage and is unable to express it in a healthy way. Really: It is best if he avoids you, and overall this is not a bad thing; although it may feel uncomfortable.


I talked about this Peter situation with Kate (my wife the therapist). She too feels that he is egocentric and a managerial clone-trooper. He is there to make the place run and for him to look good. If something gets in the way of that, he reacts. I am uncertain about the level of his passive-aggression.


There are a lot of managers who like to team up the players who dislike each other. ...but I am not certain if he did this to Jen intentionally or not. It is poor management and is called weaseling, after the practice of dumping a weasel into a barrel with a terrier so that they "work it all out".


There is a possible perspective that he is just so uncaring about the people he manages that he simply does whatever is needed to the schedule to get the job done, and the heck with the wants and desires of the workers. Or he is intentionally cruel, which is really awful, as that makes him along the lines of Dr a...But, then I do not get the same vibe from Peter as Dr a. To me. Peter is simply self centered and totally about his own issues and stuff.


However, if he is really saying that he begrudges you medical leave, that is pretty low and flies in the face of lawsuit. The have to give you this time off as the condition is considered possibly life threatening, if not yours the unborn child. If he is that stupid to say something sarcastic, then I have no faith in this man's decision making or overall brains. That would make him shortsighted and very stupid. Then again...


I am sure you could easily work in any ER. The test that you took in your prior position is no marker of reality, as I am sure it was not professionally vetted against any standard. In fact, I wonder why all the nursing unions do not require professional educational vetting of tests? It seems in your world that a test can be created for any purpose, and that the results are hard line and binding, totally ridiculous. A first year graduate research student could shoot holes in that process.


Ah, yeah. I would not listen to Wendy. You are a solid nurse and anxiety has its time but it will diminish. I think you are simply in an environment that feels crazy, and is. That does not help the anxiety I am sure. But it doe snot mean you are in the wrong career.


I knew a nurse who did ambulatory surgery. She loved it, and they let her double up shifts so she only worked a few days a week. I am not sure if you would be too bored there. ER work seems to suit you, but again, the people you work with now are no standard to compare your suitability. Plus, you never wanted to stay here. So, put in your time and get out as you planned. There are other places and with this hospital, just let them give you the experience you need; put in the time, and run.


It would be tempting to write TMM and say no. But that is what he wants. Loon. (Still think the black SUV wasn't him? It sure fits.)

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hi steve. if you can believe i just got home from work last night. yep at 3pm. i went to run errands. i had to gas the car, dry cleaners, oil change and inspection, plus go to the dmv and renew the cars registartion. now if you can believe this.. well ny state actually thinks theres a scam going on here. i wanted to renew the car registartion but its in my husbands name. so i cant. not with out a form filled out at the dmv thats signed by him, and a copy of his drivers license. now forging his name was no problem to me.. but i didnt have a copy of his license. so the dmv thinks... that people will go and pay $150 or whatever to renew a registration and be at the dmv for 2 hrs where it smells like feet... and that somehow the person who owned the car would not want you to do this for them...
hmm. like i would just randomly renew my neighbors registration just cause!!!

cause im crazy? i mean wtf.

so after 90 min i find out i cant do it b/c on the form it says sign his name so i did. and thought ok were a go. and then they said i needed the copy of the license whihc it didnt say on the form. yeah the dmv sucks. its a wasteland of time and money and full of tears and broken dreams.

anyway i went to get my eyebrows done.. and the girl there is great. ashley. we laugh non stop but shes like 10 yrs younger than me. anyway shes so sweet and i say wicked things.. and she laughs and i corrupt her. anyway a woman was in the store and they sell all beauty products (really we just need a f**king magic wand you know?) and this woman wants to know what paris hiltons fragrance smells like. and i said it smells like her. whore.

ashley starts laughing she snorts and even the customer was dying. so i then said it smells like her fathers tears.

yes ima trip.

i went to the salon also ( a different one) to get a pedicure since my feet are awful. so i get a guy who ive gotten before. hes good at massages.. nails.. ah. hes ok. i seem to get hima lot which annoys me. for the pedicure part. the massage is good i admit. but he get s alittle rough fro me. anyway, i get the pedicure and its acceptable.. he starts to give me a shoulder rub which comes with the pedicure.. so he says do you want a massage youre very tense.. this is true i admit. so i say i m having ababy and point to my abd. he says oh baby. yes. so he says you can lay on your side. so i agree to a 1 hr massage.

he tells me to take off my uniform and put on the terry wrap thing. so i do but leave my underwear/ bra on. b/c i felt strange i admit. i have weird vibes but im exhausted and i already agreed. so im on my side and he comes in and i have the sheet on top of me too. so he fixes my pillows for my head and knees and he moves the sheet for my shoulders/ back and he says oh bra. (he doesnt speak english the best..) so he says take off. so im hesistant and he says ok open back. i cant due to my preg and position and he unhooks my bra. ok so i still feel weird...

well hes massaging me and im trying to relax. since thats the whole point. well i fell asleep. i wake up and its a little more than an hr and he says ok youre done. and is patting my back. i wake up with a start and he says ok? i say yes ok. i get dressed but my shoes were left outside so im going to walk out with flip flops and get my shoes. so he brings them in and tells me sit. i sit and he puts them on for me. whihc was ahelp honestly. but im thinking like omg, i fell asleep and had my bra open and underwear on and he couldve looked at me or touched me. what do i know? how could i fall asleep like that? i mean i know im exhausted but really that was stupid. i go pya and get out of there. i drove the ashley at the eybrow place and i tell he ri feel like im doing the walk of shame here and i tell her what happened and shes laughing b/c i am being funny... but i try to take my mind off of it. as i feel unsettled. i have no clues to soemthing bad have happening other than me falling asleep. i know i wasnt drugged i didnt eat or drink anything provided by them, it really was fatigue.

am i overly... like looking for soemthing wrong? he may have had a clue id fall asleep as i did doze in the pedicure chair also.

im not telling rob. its like i deserved whatever happened to me for being so stupid.

i know im going backward... last night was ok. dr a was not there. it was a dr s and dr m. dr m is very nice and well respected by all. but he did go to school with dr a and b. theyre all in the same residents class. dr m is married and seems pretty stable in mood and composure. he doesnt get excited and i saw him coding a pt and the nurses aide was doing cpr wrong and he gently corrected them without it being an international incident.

anyway dr s is supposedly a dick. i have heard of many run ins with him. he did get nasty with me one night when i asked about getting orders for apt. he snapped at me and i was grateful whe ni knew id only work with dr a and b. anyway i havent seen dr s in many months, and he took about half my pts, i stayed out of his way and kept my mouth shut. i was plenty busy and figure di didnt need this loose cannon going off on me.

but he actually joked with me and was polite and said ok .25mg po of xanax for the pt and 5mg po valium for me. i laughed and said and what im left out? and he said well soemones gotta be straight around here. i said man im always the designated driver. and he laughed. we had a homelss guy whos a frequent flier and hes pretty gross and he spoke with hi and said well how can we help you tonigh? the guy said im relaly hungry. he said ok no problem. what else? do you need a social worker? housing? so the guy said yes. dr s said to me.. liz could you get mr so and so a sandwich and a drink? so i said sure give me amin. i was writing an assessment for a really sick pt and didnt wnat to forget what i was wriiting. i finished what i was actaully writing but not all of it, got up got 2 sandwiches, soda, crackers and pudding. i came back and dr s said what toook you so long liz? laughing. i said sorry i had to make these sandwiches. and he laughed. i said plus im almost 6 months preg. and he said i was teasing liz. he ordered the xanax for soemone else but "gave" me the valium this time as it was "my turn' and i said oh so thta way we can be friends now? and he said that implies we weent before. i said oh no i wasnt saying that .. but now we can be bff.

and he laughed and said wow i havent heard bff for a long time. i said yeah cuz youre not a 6 yr old girl.

he laughed again. i felt myself possibly going ino bad territory and possibly getting this misconstrued so i tried to stay mor eto myself for the rest of the night.

dr a didnt speak to me at all that 2nd night. he didnt even look at me. as neither did i. so i guess im petty too. i know i can be. esp if im insulted. i dont know if thats my persoinality or just a female thing.

i avoided peter this am figuring if he needed me hed find me. i was there a f ew min after the shift but didnt actually run into peter. i saw him go by and in the distance...

oh you mean you didnt call kate on her little tikes phone and discuss my manager problems with her? im shocked.

shed prob say babys here and a few other things over and over again and youd get frustrated and hang up.

i have manged people. yes i know shocking really. and i dotn like having to go thru all these pains of making a schedule to make everyone happy. b/c i have alot of shit to do. and work is work. i t doesnt mean i want the 2 of them to fight it out or vet their issues. but its like be professional yoiu moron. and if you start doing it for one... youre doing special requests for all. i want to be this one. i wont be with this one. well id odnt have time for you bullshit games.

i didnt try to explain that to jen. cuz i dont think shed egt it.

no the guy ho was in the suv didnt look like tmm

Thank you for the bonus Liz. I have no way to give you feedback anymore so I have to say it here, but thank you so much!


Your process for getting a renewal at the DMV sounds nightmarish. I cannot believe that you were not able to renew Rob's registration. Now you know this most likely all came about because some nasty person took advantage of somebody and there was a lawsuit and the DMV was obligated to do something about it. Now, everyone pays for it.


You are always making people laugh. And I laughed at the father's tears comment. Although a part of me, being a parent of two girls, really feels for this family. They are really messed up and look at the results but I cannot help but feel badly for them.


Now the massage thing gave me pause. This seemed very inappropriate to have to requested to remove your bra and then he unhooks the thing. Although you fell asleep (you probably really needed the rest) the idea that this "guy" is touching you and you have your bra essentially off and have little else on but your that gets into the creep factor, big time. Why on earth would this place employ a male in that role with women? It begs for a sexual misconduct action, and even if nothing "happened" per say, you are still with this guy, and could be the subject of voyeuristic actions, including having photos taken. The whole thing just seems weird and I can understand why you would feel so violated. I hope you will not be going back there.


You did not deserve anything, if something did happen. You did nothing wrong. You had a massage. You fell asleep. It is just the manner in which this all took place that was peculiar. I would double think if you should tell Rob. This was not your fault. Maybe he should know, just to be on the safe side. Your choice of course, but still...


Dr S: I have often found that when people tell me that someone is a real piece of work and is not to be trusted that about half the time I end up liking the person and get along with them. Dr S may be edgy, and perhaps he is a jerk sometimes, but he certainly seemed nice to you, and your conversation seemed better than a lot of the interactions that you have there. You laughed and joked and seemed to get along great. Maybe you could be bff's. (And in the context of what you were talking about I do not think that this was or could be misconstrued. There would have to be a serious effort to do that. I think this was an innocent comment and taken that way as well.) After all, no one can tell you who you will or will not get along with. Perhaps you and this dr s, click.


Dr a in silence with you? I would suggest, and do not hate me for saying it, that you make some overture of hello or something with him next time you run into him. There are a number of reasons for doing so, and it doesn't have to go past a hello, but I think you should break that barrier only for the power it give you to do so. That way the onus is on him, not you, to act professional in return.


I am sure Peter will not look you up unless he is looking bad himself. I still feel he sees those who work for him as chess pieces.


Managers who do not know the truth that you said here are sadly, common. Many manage by avoidance or have the employees duke it out, all bad processes. But then again. I haven't seen that much good management at the places you work.


TMM wasn't in the SUV...That is okay, but I wonder sometimes if he does not drive by you, just to see. Steven




Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hey steve.
i hate to say i dont feel for the hiltons. they had all the money priviledge and help you could buy. and they still couldnt educate or teach their daughters composure. people who have ti way tougher - like reg people soemhow do it. all that mrs hilton had to do was make sure those kids went to school, and did what they were supposed to. they could go to the best schools have tutors, nice things. safe things. like safe cars and housing. so no, i wouldnt say to paris shes a whore. theres no need to. and i wouldnt call out their classness either. but.. i mean.. yes quite possible one of those 1,000 perfumes she has smells like her fathers broken dreams and tears. another may smell of regret. the list could go on and on.

maybe i oculd be a stand up. rob told me start writing my jokes down so i have them. in case i want to do soemthing with it. he said i could even write books... ahh. i dont know.

rob.. i dont know i really dont want to t alk about it it with him. b/c.. i don know its not like.. i know something happened. and then i had the thought like .. my feet/ calves are swollen.. im preg and i wasnt the skinniest chick before this preg and that makes me think... ah. i dont think hes interested. i dotn know if its b/c im more preg in the summer than with kate.. but my legs are bad after working. by yest my legs were really bad. when i was off i didnt swell. they still are, it hasnt even completely relieved with laying down all night.

dr s. he had a major run in with a nurse whom i know was not disrespectful to him. kerry had a pt waiting 5 hrs to see a dr. and she went over and asked - and said the pts is upset. etc. and he flipped out and threw her out of the er. they had to pull wendy in from triage and put kerry out there for the rest of the night. and uh im sorry but no dr has the right to throw a nurse out of the er. hes not her boss. and they need to rememebr that. people may think a dr is a nurses boss b ut frankly. theyre not. and i wouldnt have had her go out to triage. i wouldve called the nsg super and told her to go deal with captain dipshit. and the nurses shouldve stood strong against it. i dotn want these drs to think they have some sort of power over nsg assignments. and i never ever let a dr at my old job ever think he had discretion. on top of that at my old hosp no procedure took place witghout my saying it was ok for it to happen on ym floor. and plenty of times i stopped surgeons who wanted to quickly convert a vented pt to a trached pt. on the floor. with out sterile procedure and anesthesia for that pt. with out the DOH "time out" and i have stood between a pt and a dr and said no this isnt happening.

but thats when nsg supervision thought highly of me. so they backed me up.

i only have so much power they will give me. here i have none. i have the state behind me and me being able to say no.. etc from policy and procedure.

jen just texted me that she didnt know i was tlaking to the theresa on the boards she thought it was the other theresa and that she misunderstood that day when we went to the water park etc and its been bothering her since it happened b/c she doesnt wan t i t to affect our friendship. now i know she knows i dotn know really anyone there and the few people i do, i barely know them. so... i dotn know how she would think i knew this other theresa who tries to do the group activities and doesnt wnat to pay the membership fee. which by the way is $7 for 6 months. i mean hardly like i cant afford that. if you cant swing that you cant go to all the places were going anyway. i mean i give them credit they find pretty cheap stuff to do. im bad at that. im like oh its $100 for the day ok. (i know arent i awful? but really to me its like... if you go out you spend money. otherwise you go to the park or the beach.

anyway i didnt give her any great forgiveness. i just said its ok.

i feel like im like everyone stepping stone anymore. between my family, his, the patients, and the drs, and now other nurses. im just kind of doen steven. its like. wtf have i done to anyone? i dotn say anything unkind. i get the pts all they ask for. i was only born as far as im concerned about my family. its like i dotn know how to exist with other people. i dotn know why. i dotn know if i should go back to m,y stronger self where id be like oh yeah? and just go after people. just to make sure they know im not their steppign stone. i mean im not giving jen a huge pat on the back about all that. if she feels bad she should. she acted like an animal.

and speaking of animals. dr a is even worse than her.

i so, so dotn want to speak to dr a. b/c i dont want to give him the satisfaction of thinking possibly that me saying hi is my backing down about the way he treated me. its like he got away with it. and it seems he gets away with alot of bullshit. alot. cuz women think hes cute. and i dont. and its not like oh id like to date him so.. ill give him another chance. its like i should have my husband come and have a word with him. youre speaking to not only a professional but soemone whos a wife and mother. how dare you. and this isnt the 1st time hes been unprofessional and rude. yes ive joked with him, but i havent been rude. wendy said well you questioned him on doing soemthing with a pt, and i said yeah b/c he took pete the charge nurse word over mine. i said the pt was in v tach and pete said the guy was seizing. and i was right. its like it was a popularity contest instead of what was happening with the pt. and even more scary - dr a couldnt even tell. he had a perfect v tach rhythm on the monitor. textbook. and he didnt say shit liz u were right. he said man ive never seen a v tach look so much like a seizure. the real problem is pete the nurse thinks he knows everything and that all the pts are drug addicts. and treats them all that way. and yes soem are drug addicts. but this guy was with his wife and kids who seemed well kept enough, and he had chest pain. and no hx of seizures. so why would a chest pain have seizures? or does it make sense he was having arrythmias that was causing it? its not just one piece its the whole pic of the pt. and thats what upset me too. people deserve our help. and im respectful to all of them. and alot of people who people say are rude or are drug addicts i dont have a prob with. b/c i help them. just like everyone else. i mean dont get me wrong i get myu share of being abused and yelled at. but thats not how i start the interaction with them.

tmm. i wouldve recognized him right away. i did look at the driver. i guess it was soemone who pulled over. around here ive noticed people wont stay pulled over by peoples houses if they see soemone outside the house.

my only consolation is my friend alexis the clerk at my old job whos still really close in touch with me - he told me the places is f**ked up without you liz. he said no one knows policy or procedure. and no ones the nurse you were liz.

unfortunately i dont even think im the nurse i was either. unfortunately. i dont have the juice i used to at my old job so it really ties my hands. and fatigue isnt helping me either.

Don't get me wrong. I have a soft spot for families, period, but I am not naive about Paris' lifestyle choices and the shame she has brought herself and family. She had it, not so rough at all financially, but her family did not allow her discipline and as a result it ruined her life. It is her fault ultimately, but the family had a strong role in it and I do feel sorry for the whole lot of them. I do not have the cash resources of the Hilton's, but at least my kids are disciplined.


You want to do stand up? Well, okay then. You are funny enough and female stand up comedians who are truly funny are rare. So, what the heck. Wear a nursing uniform on-stage and go from there.


Men and perversion: You could look like anything and still be victimized. It doesn't have anything to do with what you look like, but rather the opportunity. I know why you do not want to tell Rob and that is your choice. But it seems like this may be worth sharing in some way...It was weird at the very least.


I am not saying that this doctor is exactly well put together and stable, but rather that you may find that he gets along with you. Some people just do better together and you, combined with his traits, may in fact flatten out his anger and aggression. After all, you grew up with this sort of volatility and have developed means to deal with it. That is not to say you should seek this guy out , as he seems crazy, but that he may end up treating you not as terribly as the other nurses. And, good for you that you stand up for what is right and decent by the patients. I get the feeling that without help many of these patients and families would be run over by the doctors.


Jen is who she is. She seems insecure and is controlling. She also needs her posse and if you defect she is out one more comrade. So, I am not shocked she tried to be nice and apologetic. But, I think she has earned the yellow caution flag and despite her overtures of apology I think it is wise that you watch yourself with her.


You did nothing wrong to earn the problems you have with others. They just happen and you are one of those people who just attracts these dysfunctional folks. The loon magnet is one that tends to be pretty steady in life for those who have that trait. It is not your fault, but it is not fun to have and I know you have been hurt by the actions of these people, from Jen to Dr A to your family and beyond. At times it must feel like it is all just too much. Going after these folks doesn't change the hurt nor does it usually change them. So, I actually see the way you are now as better than the "hard and tough" Liz of before. I know you miss her, but truthfully the person you are now is so much more open and real than that walled off one.


Dr a: It is your own choice about whether you talk with him or not of course, but I really do not see that talking to him makes you lose status. You control him more if you talk to him in my opinion. Plus, so what if he thinks he was right? He thinks that anyway. Not talking to him is not going to alter that fact. Although it sounds trite I do not feel that you lose by acting professional, you gain.


It is obvious that he hurt you. He questioned your competence, made you look badly in front of others and refused to admit his flawed diagnostic ability in this cardiac case. Plus he is arrogant and self absorbed. He is not exactly a winner. But you are better than him, way better. That is why I feel you could speak to him and not lose any face whatsoever.


TMM and the car. You should live here. I live on a dead end street, six houses total. We have dozens of people pull over on our street, much so we have to ask them if they need help as many will sit as stare at you in the yard. Rudeness in that way never ceases to amaze me. (We have so many because our street is named the same as the street the local mall is on. The GS units do not distinguish the two and people drive down our dead end looking for the mall and feel puzzled when they see a residential area.


You are still a great nurse, fatigue, juice or whatever. Steven





Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hey steve. rob and i and kate were out all day shopping. spending money. lots of it. we went and bought our kind size mattress. a sterns and foster with a new box spring and a new frame since we have a queen frame. also the mattress cover, the warranty. delivery was free. so there. itll be here 2 weeks from today and i told the guy, can we sleep here til it comes? cuz really its bad at our house. steve i cant take it anymore. theres no room, the mattress is lumpy - kates all quished into one of us cuz she hates sleeping ona the lump thats in between us from all the years of us sleeping on our sides.
now i have to buy sheets and a comforter and pillows. but thats next paycheck - cuz hey we spent enough coin today.

kate got anew janie and jack dress b/c she soemhow leaked her diaper and i left the extra outfit on the dining roomt able i put it all together and didnt put it in the bag. doint ask em why but it was there sure enough.

so the kids butt was soaked so i looked for a summer thing on sale.. and i found this dress. it was $22. and i said to rob... its cute and she cant be soeked for the res tof the day. and we discovered she was soaked while i was checking out fall preview. its a purple, green and cream colored line of clothes... so cute.

i also found on craigslist a playhouse for kate a little tikes victorian playhouse. its pink and gingerbready looking. its for outside. so i did soem negotiating and robs picking it tomorrow.

i also bought kate soem leap frog kindergarten stuff. i figured wed get her started.

oh and youll never believe ona lark i looked for a bugaboo donkey stroller - the double thats a single and a double - you cna convert it. so its $1500.

well i found it for $600 on craigslist. these rich people got 2 of the same stroller for a baby shower (man my family sucks.. but we alreayd kn ew that.) and theyre selling it to help out another family for $600. theyre in manhatten. so i emailed right away of course. it was only posted 4 hrs before. well the guys like im waiting to her back from soemone who contacted me first. i said ok, just know that im willing to come this weekend cash in hand. they said ok theyll keep us in mind... i emailed later today and they havent answered but i have the feeling the other people will be buying it. i was sooo dissapointed really.

rob got me godivas.. and i didnt argue. the big box. woo hoo. want to come over?

do you think ill have to sleep with ellen to get a start in stand up? i was telling rob how i made up at work a code. he said what kind of code? i said if your makeup looks bad i said that s it code MAC - which is makeup co.. if you dont know.. its a store pretty popular. and either way its like ok every bithc here needs to get her makeup bag. we have a woman whos shiny and without blush.

i was at nordstroms whihc is pretty crazy - i forgot its the half annual sale. women a re nuts in there. shopping is a contact sport.

you would think that id be able to handle f**king nut jobs due to my family. but i cant. they spiral out of control and im standing there like ok asshole. i mean luckily im not like i was preg with the last one crying all the timeas soon as soemone is a shit to me. i held my own with both jen and dr a. i was more forceful with dr a. but i am glad i held it together. i kind of guilted jen - on purpose of course when i said i wasnt sure i wanted to be involved and now im pretty sure i dont. im figuring ill buy jen a baby gift and shes going to be out for awhile. recovering and with an infant. so she wont be around and ill be more preg and an excuse for why im not around as she get more back into the swing of things. i think thats buying me 6 months. of away time from jen. ill have time to decide what im doing with her. or if im dropping her. i dotn have many friends but.. i guess this is why. ive gotten older and all these things and nonsense - well its like i dotn want to put up with it anymore. i dont like not having a good amount fo friends and i mean id like to have like 7 or 8 good close friends. rob has like no friends. hes friends with guys at work.. but.. that sabout it.

my inside person at my old hosp told me my old manager is out still for her "heart problems" and apprently she didnt put people down for vacations so the other (nasty nasty) manager is telling them they cant go. luckily my friend - although i dont know about the others has his signed slip so he brought it to her and said thats my vacation. the manager said he cant go since its not on the schedule. i said id head over to hr and let them know of all the incompetance. i wouldnt try to stop the employee going on vacation b ut id be pretty pissed at the manager who didnt put all these people down for vacations. i mean you cant trust her work then right? whats next? gosh seems like she made a documentation error. hmm. that cant be isnt she better than me?

alexis laughed his ass of when i said that.

then he said well shes going for heart surgery. i said well hopefully shell be out for 3 months or more. buys you time away from her.

we joked about she may need to go to the wizard to get aheart. i left out she may need to stop and get abrain too.

god steven im so detailed oriented. it makes me so mad people get away with this crap and look at what ive gone thru.

i dotn want to go thru what i go thru anymore really. im tired of people who are f**ked up trying to take m with them. they should leave me out.

dr a. i will spoeak when necessary if its important about a pt. but franklly i think ill be staying away from dr b also. i know hell be on dr a's side and i have no patience for it. they used to say how they liked i came to them about the pts and informed them of what was going on etc. now they dont like it. they should make up their f**king minds. its more work for me to speak to them really. and then i ask for orders which is more work. its like im a moron. i keep asking for more work and im exhausted. and the pts still arent happy. so you tell me whos an asshole.

looks like me.

and for him to say bullshit. omg. off the rails really. pointing at me. pointing at me. no way.

i used to be a great pt advocate. now im a nothing. who just gets spoken to like a moron by all. ill try not to take it personally. but. it kind fo sucks. i dont want to be abck at my old job.. but i miss when i was respected. i ruled that floor. and it was my floor. i owned it. and everyone knew. and whether you liked me hated me or whatever. you didnt argue with me. and i was respected. i had alot of people that i butted heads with that came around and saw my side of it. and seemed to respect me for sticking to my guns. and i outlasted alot of people who sucked and thought they would bully me. oh well the place could burn down now.

or do c sections on pts who arent preg or whatever. what do i know?

i dont see me as an improvement. i see me as defeated. b/c i am. stuck. need the money. and have to take all the abuse that they handed me.

i feel like i shouldve maybe gone to hr about dr a. but then i thought well itd really be on then. and make my life harder. theres no winning for me. but you cant tell me ill joke with him again. or speak in any way outside of work to him again. dr b may be on the same path as im kind of sick of his linda trip like friendship. he doesnt stick up for me to dr a. he should but he doesnt. so.. it seems i have bigger balls than both of them

Aren't mattresses ridiculously expensive? Why should they be? They are simply cotton and polyester and some springs around a wood frame. Shop class stuff, yet 1000k and up is common as dust, and that often does not include delivery and extras like disposal of the old one and buying new sheets and blah blah blah...I just bought a mattress myself the pain is still there.


That is cheap for a dress for Kate like that. I have seen that price at second hand stores.Nice deal. And I know exactly the Victorian play house you bought. I have seen that one a lot. It is really cute.


We live for Leap Frog. I think we had every one of the modules. They are great and they last and do not break easily. I think the one made it through all three kids.


You and that stroller. You are determined to get one. And someone got two for a shower? I wouldn't even want to think about the overall income of that particular family. That is some high end stuff. And, Rob bought you chocolates too? Godiva's? You must have been good, or he wants something. Can't imagine what.


You want to sleep with Ellen to gain entry into the female comedians club? You know I never thought she was all that funny. Her humor is canned. Yours is more spontaneous. You don't need her anyway.


The older you get the more difficult it is to have friends who are close, real ones at least. Jen, I think, feels that she is your friend, but she also makes it difficult to be around her as she is so controlling. I think too that having some space away from her might help, but as her problems are personality based, she is not going to change much between her baby and yours, even with a full six months of avoidance. So, I think you eventually will have to make a choice with her. I mean, I could be wrong here, but as I see it she is pretty solid into her patterns of behavior and I doubt the maternity vacation will help too much.


Nah, it could not be a documentation error at work, not her. She is too good and doesn't make that kind of error, you know that. (Wouldn't you be beside yourself if this was you who put in for a vacation and the manager failed to make it registe? If I had a signed vacation slip you can bet I would be at HR commenting on all the stupidity going on there. Think about it. These people probably had paid plans. I do, and my vacation is not until Oct. If I was told I could not go I would be really angry. This prior place of yours was its own sad comedy of errors. And they are mean beside being incompetent. Those two traits together are pretty bad. You must feel kind of odd about hearing this stuff, huh? You went through so much there and they tried so hard to blame everything on you. Really amazing to see the lack of competence there in so obvious a way...And, you have been through it. There is no doubt there. You endured more than a year of torture with these people blaming you for there stuff. Crazy. I know what you mean when you say that you feel like you get punished for their incompetence when you are so detail oriented.


If you want to avoid all the doctors there except for what is professionally necessary I would get why and fully support it. When you do try to be informative you pay for it. Sometimes it is easier to just do the work and get out. Have you given further thought as to what you might do after the baby. How long do you have to go before they cannot charge you the 5k?


You did and do a good job at both places. I know at this one it is the lack of respect that you so miss. That is important as the job is thankless in so many other ways; it is good to have something like value and respect as an extra. But for whatever reason this place just doesn't seem to grab a hold of you and value you. When that happens it is usually okay to bid your time and then get out. You do not want to be lost in a system of that nature and it seems so cultural to this place. The only way to get noticed in a place like this current one is to leave. Then everyone wonders why you weren't happy. Just look at this place. It is like one big circus. But all in all I think leaving for something else once the baby arrives might not be such a bad thing. You can still pursue your dreams in this career, but at this just seems too difficult.


You are more brave and bold than either dr a or b. But I would not look at this hospital as one where you are defined by how you are treated. They cannot give you your value and you are right. You are better than both of them as well as this whole place in general. You are only trapped until your time is up for the 5k. Then you can run somewhere where you have a better shot at being recognized for your abilities. This place is just too dysfunctional, too cold and removed. Steven BTW we need a new question. This is too long now.

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