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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5823
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My wife has reconnected with an old flame via Facebook. She

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My wife has reconnected with an old flame via Facebook. She has told me about it and claims it is only a friendship, but she wants to get together with him even though he lives a long distance away. Should I be worried or should I believe her and support her in her friendship.

Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

Whenever a spouse wants to be friends with someone of the opposite sex, especially an old boyfriend, it is usually not a good sign. In a marriage, it is important to put each other first. Any friendships with someone of the opposite sex should include your spouse. And it doesn't sound like your wife is including you in this relationship if she wants to travel to see him. She should be making sure her ex knows about you and making her commitment to you clear to her ex. But if she isn't including you, then the message is that you are not as important as her own feelings are to her. And the ex boyfriend gets the same message, leaving him to assume that your wife is available for a relationship.

Let your wife know how you feel about this situation. If you want her to not visit her ex, then tell her that you feel hurt by her actions and that is undermines the trust in your marriage. See what she says. If she still goes, then you may want to consider seeing a counselor to talk about what you want to do with your marriage. Your wife is sending clear signals that she has put herself and her own feelings ahead of the marriage. And that can only hurt your marriage, just as you said.

I hope this has helped you,

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