Thank you for your reply.
I can imagine how sad
, anxious and stressful you must have felt about this situation.
You have dealt with his emotional and behavior problems - abusive behavior for many years.
Not surprisingly, you also may have developed signs of depression and anxiety due to his behavior. I'm worried about your children as well.
It sounds like he becomes very angry when he drinks alcohol.
His behavior is indicative of mood disorder such as depression or bipolar
He also doesn't take responsibility for his behavior; instead he blames you for this. He must be in denial of his problems.
His behavior is not acceptable to you or anyone.
If he is willing to see someone, you and he may see a marriage counselor. It's a good idea. Hopefully, a marriage counselor may help him to look at his abusive behavior and change his behavior.
If he doesn't change his abusive behavior, you may need to consider separation for the sake of yourself and your children. First, you may start seeing a counselor for yourself until you decide to take action to deal with him or his illness.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Best regards,