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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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I asked my wife for a divorce about 4months ago and she was

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Hi i asked my wife for a divorce about 4months ago and she was so hurt from this. But here latley we have been hanging out when iam home. Iasked her i wanted to fix awar marrige since i was the one who missed it up. She tells me she needs time and space but i feel like i might loose her i dont know what to do. I have been changing every thing about my self that she didnt like but dont think its enuogh. She tells me iam her best friend and somtimes tells me she wants to mive back tigather but when i leave to work for 2weeks its like she changes again and wants nothing to do with me.if yiu have any feed back pkease let me know thanks.
KansasTherapist : Hello
By telling your wife you wanted a divorce, I expect, not only was she hurt, but her trust was terribly violated. While you're with her, she likely feels close to you and thinks about working through her feelings, but while you're gone for two weeks, the pain and feeling of loss come back. How much contact are you having with her while you're gone?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i have been texting her and have tryed to call but she sayes iam bugging her and that she needs space so i dont really get to talk to her as mush when iam gone.
It's certainly a struggle to rebuild your relationship while you're apart so much. Perhaps you should ask her what she would like you to do while you're away. If you're able to express yourself in writing she might like emails more than a quick text. You could send her jokes or sentimental photos about how much you love and miss her. She might also like it if you sent her cards, either by mail or e cards. If you could find out from her what she would like, your time away might go better.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Iam going to try those things, just feel like so wants to be apart of me but then she doesn't, sometimes I feel like she could be leading me on. Iam do emotionally drained that sometimes I wish I could wake up from this and it would be back to normal. Should I ask her what time frame I need to wait and what she well be doing with that time or should I just give her all the te she needs.
My guess is that she doesn't know what the time frame is. Most people don't in her situation. You may want to think about how long you're willing to wait for her to make up her mind.