How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask DrFee Your Own Question
DrFee
DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
66179016
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
DrFee is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my husband masturbates daily he is 65 and I am 73. we have

This answer was rated:

my husband masturbates daily he is 65 and I am 73. we have great sex almost daily and when I leave the house he masturbates while watching porn. He does this almost daily. I have watched porn with him and try not to be negative about it. I feel sex is not a spectator sport. I am attractive but becoming wrinkly. I am very active and usually have high endurance physically. I have been trying to get beyond this behavior but at times it bothers me more than not. So hoiw do I cope with this behavior. He also is bipolor with add. I know he loves me but I question this type behavior and myself.

DrFee :

Hello! Please remember that my response is for information only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.

DrFee :

Daily masturbation at that age does seem like a lot --I'm wondering if it's something he does to help channel some of his energy that might be fueled by the Bipolar and ADD.

DrFee :

Another possibility is sexual addiction.

DrFee :

Either case, those issues have nothing to do with you or how attractive or sexual you are, but rather issues that are within him.

DrFee :

Here's a link to one screening quiz for sexual addiction: http://psychcentral.com/sexquiz.htm

DrFee :

Looks like you are not available. When you comment, I will be notified and I will respond to your comments.

Customer:

I know that . I guess I just want to know how do I cope with it. Or is there something I should do with him.

DrFee :

Well, if he's willing to admit that he's addicted, then he could get treatment for it. Do you think he'd be willing to get treatment?

DrFee :

I'll give you a few ideas for coping:

DrFee :

1. Accept that you cannot control his behavior and that you are not responsible for it.

DrFee :

2. Become aware of any "co-dependent" behaviors or attitudes on your part ---are there any ways you "take care" of him that's not healthy (make excuses, not honest with him, etc)

DrFee :

3. Talk to someone --either a therapist or online community (there are support sites, I'll give you a referral in a minute)

DrFee :

4. Decide if you can tolerate his behavior or if you need to leave (assuming he won't get treatment) --work on the belief that it has nothing to do with you.

DrFee :

http://www.journeytohealingandjoy.com/

DrFee :

Please comment --we can interact regarding these suggestions --

DrFee and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you for your acceptance, however my goal really is to give you Excellent service, not just "OK" service. Please feel free to follow up with me here -at no additional charge.

Related Mental Health Questions