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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hello Kate............

This answer was rated:

Hello Kate............

I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling well today. You did go through an intense time recently with getting all of those things done. That may be why. What you are feeling the reason is?

The talk with Poppy can wait until you feel up for it. And if Sam will be there, that is not a good time anyway.

I'll be here off and on today (usual Sunday run around!). Hopefully we can talk. Us moms don't get much downtime, eh? :)


Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hello again Kate,

thank you. I don't know really why I feel so bad, physically and mentally, but I have felt particularly stressed today, maybe bc D has been home all day, until an hour ago, then he went you know where. It's been a beautiful day, one of the best of recent weeks, and I spent no more than 15 minutes sitting on the front door step weeding from where I sat before I was totally exhausted. I've been wanting to lie down and go to sleep all afternoon, but I had washload after washload to sort out bc it was a fine day for drying. I don't know, I guess it's all catching me up, I'm feeling bad and guilty again today, he has been pleasant enough, he has done a bit of bramble trimming (left his mess everywhere), and a little of something else, then watched TV for the rest of the day til he went out. I am feeling like a bad mother, everything just happening around me, I know what's going on, but do nothing. Sam drove to pick Poppy up (THAT was stressful!), and now she has gone out with Sam to meet some friends at someone's house, I failed to be firm enough, and can just hope that she will be home by the time I told her (10pm) I am feeling so poorly I can do nothing. I am working tomorrow, I should have showered today, I'll have to try to be up early tomorrow. I've even been irritable with Lola bc she jumped over the neighbours wall so that she could bark at a dog in the road, I had my arms laden with washing from the line (forgot my basket) and I had to ask Sam to get her in. D said what are the dogs barking at, he should have gone to look instead of getting himself prettified for the pub.

Kate, I'm sorry, I'm not right, I'm wingey and moany and I don't like me. I anticipate a difficult week, and have been thinking about whether I should speak to Dr H about D, or just hope that they have the matter in hand. She hasn't phoned me, and her email is down. It is such an event going to see her, maybe I'll wait a couple of days and see if D's GP phones again.

I might sign off now in case I don't get back again. I was so desperate to get home to bed when we were in the car, I hope I can sleep once I try.

Goodnight my friend

H Rosex
Hello H Rose,

It sounds like you are trying to cope with a lot all at once. You had burst of energy last few days and got so much done. Then you wore out. And that is ok. Giving yourself permission to have days where you do nothing is alright. And you really are not doing nothing since you are catching up on work, but having a day or two a week where you don't shower, don't make dinner or other usual activities is fine to do. You have to have a break.

Emotionally, you are coping with enormous stress. You are trying to get out of a marriage with an abusive husband who makes your life very difficult. You are trying to raise two teens all by yourself and a husband who depends on you for his support. He comes to you to rant and rave, adding to your stress. No one takes care of you, ever. That can take a big toll on you. You are most likely emotionally depleted.

Take what time you can for the next few days. You need at least to take pockets of time to catch up on rest. Make dinner for the next few days easy. The kids can throw something together themselves, they are old enough. I often have a day that I call dinner on your own when I need a day or I have a lot of leftovers. Do the minimum. And talk to Poppy only when you feel you are ready and have your energy back. Otherwise, you cannot give it your all. And most of all, try not to make "shoulds" and "must do" part of your vocabulary. You are doing the best you can with what you have. No one could ask more.

Good night, my dear H Rose! I hope you have a very restful sleep.

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