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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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How do you handle your own midlife crisis? Thoughts of: Theres

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How do you handle your own midlife crisis? Thoughts of: There's got to be more to life than work and chores, Unhappiness, Looking for sex from someone other than your spouse, I'm just going through the motions every day, Things I used to enjoy I no longer do, Wanting to do something dangerous/ adventurous, etc. I was rather surprised when I looked online and found I have several symptoms that are typical for mlc.
Many people reach a point in their lives when they need to make some changes. The trick is to do that without blowing up your marriage, finances, and relationships. Try starting with small changes instead of buying a sports car and getting a girl friend.

Consider a job change or starting a small business. Those can both be difficulty to do in this economy but not impossible. If you turn a hobby in to a business you can do part time it can be a really exciting change and give you something you can continue to do after you retire.

Become a volunteer. There are groups in bigger communities that match volunteers with projects. Or, if there is something you're interested in, whether it's the public library or working with kids, they could easily use some help.

If you're sick of the chores you have to do, consider hiring someone to do one or two of them, like yard work, or minor auto maintenance. Another option is to trade some chores with your spouse. Maybe you could cook and she could mow the lawn.

Look into taking a different kind of vacation. Go somewhere you've never gone before and do something different. Just an example might be, go to a city you'd like to explore but rather than staying in a hotel you can use a program called Hospitality Exchange to find a family you could stay with for no cost.

I realize these ideas seem pretty superficial, but sometimes a small change can give you new interests and new friends. If these ideas aren't helpful, let me know and I can try to go in a different direction.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thought about several of these so if there is another direction you can go in I would appreciate it. There is a young child involved and my spouse and I have been together for 20 years. Tried to talk with my spouse about it in the past but she didn't want to hear it (she got mad and said I wish you would just hurry up and get over it). From the outside our lives would look great (good looking, smart wife, great child, nice house, decent vehicles to drive, food on the table, saving for retirement, saving for other things, I have a couple of college degrees, decent job, decent health, etc.) but for some reason I can't get past these feelings. I feel like something's wrong and just can't get over it. This feeling has been off and on for a couple of years now but it seems to be getting stronger.
My first thought when I read your question is that you might be depressed. The symptoms you mention are, dissatisfaction with your life, feeling that things aren't going to get better, and no longer enjoy things you used to. The fact that everything in your life seems great but just isn't making you happy is another clue.

This is a link to the Beck depression inventory. It is self scoring and at the end it explains at what level you might want to consider treatment.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I hadn't thought of depression. Interesting - I scored a 21 on the test. I will now look in this direction. Thank You.