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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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unhappy after split - depression

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hi, i'm desperately unhappy having split with a boyfriend a year ago. we were together 8 years. He was diagnosed with mulitple sclerosis three years ago but was always in denial, our sex life dried upa and he completely withdrew from me in the last year. he split up with me saying he wanted to be alone and selfish. i think he's depressed but when i reach out he says he just wants to bez alone and doesn't know if he wants to settle down. i now feel crazy, all my dreams are shattered. he sends texts saying he's bored with life and doesn't understand human beings. do you think he's depressed or just being manipulative as when i reach out to him he cuts me off. a friend saw him at an event the other day and he said he thinks i'm the best human being on the planet but he can't give me what i want.
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about what you've been going through with your ex boyfriend. After such a long time together, I'm sure this relationship is hard to give up on, especially because it seems like he's had such a change in personality and this would all normally be uncharacteristic of him. It sounds like he has attempted to withdraw a lot since he continues to say that he wants to be alone, and that can certainly be the sign of depression. I would like to think that after 8 years together he would not be trying to manipulate you, but it's possible the if he is depressed he isn't sure what he wants, that could make his behavior seem manipulative.

Overall it sounds like he's going through a tough period in his own life where he is trying to figure some things out on a personal level. I do agree with you that he would benefit from getting some help, and if you can convince him to see a therapist that may help him to sort out some of these things that he is struggling with. Based on what you've described, it sounds more like he is going through a personal struggle and some depression, rather than anything manipulative or malicious towards you. If there are other reasons to believe he is being manipulative, you're welcome to respond and we can discuss it further.

I definitely wish you the best in recovering from all of this and moving forward. If there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

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