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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3392
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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my partner achieves an erection but is unable to maintain it

Customer Question

my partner achieves an erection but is unable to maintain it and become involved in intercourse ....i am feeling that it is me as he becomes sexually aroused but loses the urge just when i am firing up
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

Does the cialis work? How old is he? Has he seen a doctor to rule out anything medical?

JACUSTOMER-vjaq3hv3- :
CoachJenK :

Are you here with me?

CoachJenK :

are you here?

JACUSTOMER-vjaq3hv3- :

yes

CoachJenK :

ok, I am hoping you arent having any technical issues.

CoachJenK :

I will write some thoughts since I am not hearing back from you.

CoachJenK :

If there isn't any medical cause for his erectile dysfunction then it is usually caused by stress or worry and rarely would it be about you.

CoachJenK :

I truly understand how difficult it might be not to personalize it, but it most likely is not that.

CoachJenK :

what continues the difficulty is worry on his part whether he will lose his erection and worry on his part about how it will effect you.

CoachJenK :

both of those things add to his stress making it very difficult to maintain his erection because it is no longer about the wonderful feelings of connecting and more about "I hope I maintain my erection."

CoachJenK :

that kind of pressure for both of you could be daunting.

CoachJenK :

so, I wonder if something has been going on in his life or relationship with you that is helping him to feel stressed.

JACUSTOMER-vjaq3hv3- :

where to now

CoachJenK :

where to now?

JACUSTOMER-vjaq3hv3- :

what should we try next

CoachJenK :

i might suggest some relaxation and self hypnosis cd's for him...he needs less pressure and this can help to relax him and remove this from his mind while he is being intimate with you.

CoachJenK :

Here is a wonderful program that he can download and listen to. the more he listens the more effective it becomes.

CoachJenK :

http://www.stevegjones.com/overcomeimpotencyhypnosiscdmp3.htm

CoachJenK :

I almost feel like when i hear you ask what should we try next...that is a lot of pressure for both of you and under that pressure performance will be tough.

CoachJenK :

it is more about reducing his stress rather than lets do this technique or that because if it doesnt happen in all these new things the stress even becomes more.

CoachJenK :

I see you have gone offline. I hope my thoughts and suggestions will be helpful. As best you can, both relax and take things slow. I do believe this can get better.

CoachJenK :

Let me know how else I can support you.