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Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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My husband has always been way more interested in sex than

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My husband has always been way more interested in sex than myself. He knows that. I've tried to be more involved but, now at 56, I only enjoy the intimacy and glad to make him happy. I no longer have orgasms and nothing really "feels good". Occasionally, I desire sex, but it's few and far between. My husband is big on porn, I am not, he knows that, so views it online on his own time. Many times, it's before bed, he's a 2nd shifter, so he's "primed"! I have severe Restless Leg Syndrome and take many meds to get through the night let along the evening. By bedtime, I need to sleep, so if he wants intercourse, I'm dead to the world. If I do "wake up" enough, it messes up my sleep patern terribly. I do know sexual intercourse is helpful for my condition. I'm "up" for it during the daytime, especially in the am, he usually isn't. Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Just a side note, many usually, about an hour or so after we go to bed, I wake up and sleep on the couch, which he tolerates, but would prefer I stay in bed.
Heidi LPC :

Hi there! I have read your question, and it sounds as if you are aware that something needs to change in order for the marriage to stay strong, but just aren't sure how or what to do to increase your own desire? Many women have the same issue in midlife and low libido and other health problems can sometimes make sex seem like it is just another thing on your "to-do" list.

Heidi LPC :

I am attaching a link to some information shared on WebMD that you may find helpful:

Heidi LPC :

Rest asssured; you are not alone! However, physical contact and lovemaking is healthy for both the body and soul, and so if you can talk to your Dr. about some possible hormone replacement therapy to help your body get back in balance, you might find he/she has some other good advice to get things back in order.

Heidi LPC :

Also, one more thought: if your husband is willing to meet you halfway on the timing, meaning spending time together being close in the morning when you feel some desire, he may find that it is worth the wait! ;-)

Heidi LPC :
Heidi LPC :

I see that you are offline, so I will await your reply... please let me know if you need more specific information and I will work to be sure that I have answered your question fully and completely! Thank you for using the site! :-)

Heidi LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for your time and advice. The WebMD site was helpful too!

Maybe between you and the tips from WebMD, I can keep our marriage strong.

Thanks again.


I wish you all the best; don't give up! Find some answers, and enjoy the golden years you have together ahead!! :-)

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