Thanks for your previous post. It helped some. My therapist always tells me her office is a safe place to talk about and express my emotions. It took a lot of time but I do feel that way now. It is the same with talking with you. I feel it is safe and you won't laugh at my issues or emotions, etc. So I am fortunate to have two safe places to turn to.
To try to get a hold of my emotions, after picking up my daughter from school yesterday, we went out for an early dinner to her favorite place. I like it too. Then we did
some mother/daughter shopping. She had lots of birthday gift cards to use up and I thought since we had crummy weather it was not only a fun thing to do together (I want to make sure as she gets older we still have a strong bond) it would distract me from my feelings.
I had a lot of trouble enjoying myself. And although I promised myself that I wouldn't steal, I did. I seem to have no control and it is getting to the point that I don't even realize it and I am taking stuff I don't even want and don't know what to do with!
My therapist will not be happy with me because we discussed this and I was supposed to journal instead of steal after talking about such tough stuff in our session. But this was impossible with where I was and what I was doing - being with my daughter. Will I be able to stop this? I seem to have no control over it.
My therapist told me to take note of what I am feeling before I do it, when I'm doing it and after I do it. Then we could take a look at that and see if there is any common elements. If so, or even if not, we could tackle the feelings and then the stealing would decrease. Do you think this could actually work?
It's the weekend and I am scared to face it especially with my daughter home. When she is at school, I can just sleep my feelings away. Or go to the store for some relief. But now what do I do that she is home? I went to bed before her (she's a night owl). But I had to put an end to my pain and sleeping
was the answer.
Talk to you soon (I hope)