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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5839
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate. What are several ways I can take power away from our

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Hello Kate. What are several ways I can take power away from our night supervisor in the work place who runs people down and has no people skills? Not giving him the satisfaction of a reaction may be a great one. Also for someone I dislike, I was told to limit the time I spend with him. Only open up a conversation with him if it is work related. Are there other great tips beside these to help deal with someone I dislike in the workplace?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.


Yes, I agree that giving him no satisfaction can help a lot. But he may not be driven by just the reactions of others. If you don't pay attention to him, that helps a lot. Because paying attention can fuel his actions. But that does not mean he is not fueled by another source.

He most likely grew up with bad parenting or did not have his needs met in some other way. So he does this to others in order to try to boost his self esteem and make himself feel better about who he is. And since he tries to put others down over and over and never feels better about himself, he will keep doing it until he either realizes that he is going in circles or he will just keep doing it the rest of his life.

Avoiding him as much as possible is a good idea. Saying things only work related to him is also a good way to deal with him. Also, you may want to try to stop your thoughts about him. That may seem very hard to do when his behavior is so intrusive and bothersome. But that is exactly the effect he wants to achieve. He wants you to be bothered by him so he can "own" you and the others around him. By practicing thought stopping and putting him out of your mind, you can stop his attempts at control over you. Whenever he bothers you, substitute a thought. For example, when you think about him, try seeing him as someone to feel sorry for. Then change your thought completely. Think of something else that you are interested in that brings out strong emotions for you, like a trip you are taking or a great relationship you have with someone else. It will be hard at first, but as you work on it, you will find that it gets a lot easier.

This is a tough situation. But I think you are coping very well with it. Most people find difficult co workers very hard to deal with. But you are seeking answers and trying to find better ways to deal with it. And that is very healthy.


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