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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5823
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate, My session went well in terms on being able to express

Resolved Question:

Hi Kate,
My session went well in terms on being able to express myself with my therapist. However, I have remembered too much ugly stuff and I don't know how to processs it. I feel so alone and am so mixed up on everything.
Worse yet, I feel ugly. Not just inside but outside as well. I can't stand the sight of myself.
I know you won't see this until tomorrow but I needed a place to go that was safe and to a person that would care about how I feel.
Getting through tonight is going to be tough unless I just take my meds and go to sleep. That may be the best course of action at this point.
My therapist said to journal all my sad and mad feelings. Or to draw them out. Whatever that would work until we saw each other early next week. I will try because I have to do something with all my emotions.
The strange thing is that with all these emotions bubbling up inside of me, I still feel sort of dead. You know....like a zombie. I am very confused right now. The only thing I am not confused about is how badly I feel.
Kathy
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 5 years ago.
Hi, I am a Moderator for this topic. I sent your requested Professional a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.
Kathy,

I'm glad your session went well.

Sometimes talking about things like nightmares and past traumas can bring up your feelings about what you went through, making them very present. That is actually a good sign, though it does not feel very good. It means that you are not repressing your feelings and you are dealing with them just as they are. When you repress your feelings, that is when you start to have bigger issues.

When you mentioned not being able to stand the sight of yourself, it sounds like you might be taking some of the shame and guilt from the attacks and putting them on yourself. What you are feeling is a common reaction for survivors of a trauma and it is part of recovery to work through. It helps to start seeing that thinking this way about yourself hurts you and try to change your thinking. When you feel that way, start saying to yourself that this was not your fault and you are not to blame for what happened to you. It may seem untrue and odd at first, but after a while you will begin to accept it.

Feeling like a zombie with all those feelings coming up may be a defense to dampen them down some. It can be overwhelming to feel a lot of feelings at once and it's normal to back off emotionally. This is not repression but rather just a way to cope. Your therapist is right, writing your feelings out can help you process them better and express them at the same time.

I hope you had a good night and did get some sleep. And no nightmares, I hope!

Kate
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5823
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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