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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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I am feeling kinda left out on the band thing. I am invited

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hi... I am feeling kinda left out on the band thing. I am invited and take photos.... but I feel out of it. i have done alot to help and am feeling over whelmed. histoies are grand about where he used to do I handle this without going off the deep end... plus he doesn't haave much money with child support. He pays on two kids and one is over 18....long story...just need a little advice so that I don not go off the deep end

Hi Judy,

What is the most overwhelming of these?

Why is where he used to live an issue now? Didn't he move all of his things already?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Just that I bought a car and haven't gotten the title. Now I am putting money into it to drive and put insurance under his and paid for it... he is really broke and is waiting to hear about the patten to go thru. I dont' know I think you can insure any careven if you dont own it...he is caring for my son and has stuff over at my exs and son a boat and a large pool for my son to fix up and sell...I feel caught in the middle and he said he would move it cus he doesn't like to see me stressed out, but my son is working on it. i will ask my son if he wants to keeep it there or have him move it. Sunday my ex is having us over for smoked ribs... this is confusing for me. i just simply get torn and than I do not trust my new love

His old place where he live where now selling for a million and a half in Tenn. i just find it hard to believe... that's all

It is possible to establish some boundaries/limits for you even though you're dating. There is nothing wrong in saying No. You can't be in charge of so many things and not get burned out. And, at some point, it could seem to you as being taken advantage of. You need him to help you however he can. Whether by doing things for you as well as not asking you to cover the insurance for the car. Or at least have the insurance under your name.

Your feelings of being torn may be surfacing because the initial in love stage is progressing to one of having to deal with things as a couple. Things that if you were married to him would still have to be dealt with. You may have wanted to transition to this level but at a slower pace and not to this extent so early on.

Let your son and him figure out what to do about the pool. They can come up to an arrangement by themselves.

You really would have to know your limits both emotional and mental. Stress can tarnish your perception. Try to find a way to de-stress. Talk about and do fun stuff as a couple like going to the barbecue. People most often would have bills. That is how life is. You just want to make sure that these are split b/w the two of you as much as possible and one is not carrying the other all of the time on their shoulders.

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