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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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Hi I have a question in regards XXXXX XXXXX relationship I had for

Resolved Question:

Hi I have a question in regards XXXXX XXXXX relationship I had for three years with a man whom called himself a Christian over the time I learnt he had severe criminal history I did fall in love deeply and thought he had changed in three years he also had several girlfriends within the church I didn't know of this or what he was doing until I was hospitalized with a miscarriage and a girl had rang me at home Xmas eve calling me a unchristian hore eventually he told me he was marrying this girl only to my horror and breakdown that they were heavily into drugs and stealing prescription drugs from various people she was put into a rehab I was persecuted within my community as a person whom went to faith because I had my reasons I was left totally called a liar and blamed for a lot of things I did not ever contact these people again until recently he hurt me badly again his girl is back these people have covered and hold no responsibility they are protected by church and insiders what do I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about what you've gone through with this man and your church. It sounds like you were the one who was willing to forgive him and give him a chance, and were then betrayed by him and a lot of people in your church community. Unfortunately when someone is involved in prescription drug use to the extent that they are willing to steal for it, that is generally a sign of some serious addiction problems which can certainly lead to compulsive lying and reckless behavior that you've witnessed. That is likely a big part of his issues and will continue to cause problems for him until he addresses this issue. Considering all of what has happened and how you were treated by him, it does seem like the reaction from the church was unreasonably harsh and somewhat irrational.

Although it is unfortunate that you find yourself isolated at the moment, it does seem to make sense to be letting go of him and this church. It would likely be helpful to continuing counselling as long as you can trust your counsellor, as well as keeping the friends and people close who you still know that you can rely on. The hope is that by getting these negative influences out of your life now, as painful as it is, you'll be able to start building a life surrounded by more positive people who would be less likely to judge you for what seems like good and honest intentions on your part.

I'm sure this has been difficult but it seems understandable to have taken the course of action that you did. Sometimes removing yourself from the situation is all that you can do, and although that can be very frustrated, it may not be worth getting any more emotionally invested in this than you already are, and instead put that energy towards moving forward with your life.

I hope I've been able to answer your question and certainly wish you the best. If there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

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