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Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience:  10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
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I believe my daughter is polar based on family history and

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I believe my daughter is bi polar based on family history and her recent behavior. She has since left town under the cover of darkess. I hired a PI to find her and she found out and called my niece. She said she does not want to be found and if I dont stop looking for her she will never come back. She is 22 and left college with 4 weeks before graduation, she was lying constantly before she left and she quit her job and abandoned her apartment and car out of the blue. Should I continue to look for her?

From one mother to another you should never stop looking but you must be realistic and know that unless someone wants to be found it is unlikely that you will succeed. But people act in irrational ways all the time and come around when they find they find they have no support system. Because you stop looking doesn't mean she won't attempt to contact you. She may find that she has made decisions that have made her life very difficult and have a change of heart. She may not need intervention to know that she needs family. In the meantime you can't buy into the idea that because she is gone she will stay gone and she will need her family in the future. Impulsive behavior often leads people to experience regret and this may apply to her.

Please provide feedback or press accept; this is the only way I am compensated

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Family history as to why I believe she may be bi polar....father's brother is bi polar and one of his sisters is schizophrenic. I think this episode was triggered because she was not going to graduate. She created a bogus report card and forged a lady's name then set up a bogus meeting for me to meet with this lady and her dean. She had no idea I would talk to this lady and find out it was a bogus report card. The night before the meeting she drove home in the middle of the night and slashed my tires. I have not spoken to her since. She has removed the battery from her phone so it cannot be found with GPS and abandoned her personal items in the apartment and was a no call no show at work and got fired. It was if she just gave up. She called yesterday after over a month but did not want to talk to me. She has gone out of her way to hide her location and block her phone call and it appears after all this she is mad at ME when I was going to this meeting on her behalf. She told my niece that she "didnt want to deal with me" when my only intention was to help her. Now she is threatening to never come back and I have no idea where she is.

She have to trust her to get past this if you don't know where she is. It sounds like she is behaving very irrationally but she may move past this anger to wanting to understand the situation better. she may be experiencing a crisis and you should keep looking but keep in mind that she can resist your help because she is an adult. Just think positively. Then you may see a change of heart.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I dont like this answer at all. I am accepting to move on.

Thank you for your question. What did your daughter say to you yesterday when she called? What was the purpose for her to contact you? It seems as though your daughter is going through a lot of emotional turmoil. Ideally, other than your daughter being secretive, what would you like to happen for your daughter?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
You didn't read my comment. She called my niece. She did not talk to me. She seems to be mad with me, the only help she has. I fear for her in her mental state.
My apologies for miss reading your earlier comments. Have you considered attending a support group for family members with loved one who are struggling with mental illness? If not, I would suggest for you to attend such a meeting. You can find a meeting near you at this website:
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience: 10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
Brad The Therapist and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you