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Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
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ASK SUZANNE, I was around 2 of my sister-in-laws this

Resolved Question:

ASK SUZANNE, I was around 2 of my sister-in-laws this weekend at the shore house. It was a great visit. I was quiet, nice and helped clean in preparation for the summer. All 3 of us got along great and things are fine. I feel 110% better now because of the good interaction. First time since Sept, I was around them this many hours. Good stuff. I haven't been around my sister-in-law Kim but odds are I'm going to be around her soon. In November she wrote on facebook that she was done with me. She responded that she would attend my son's birthday. I reached out to her prior to my son's birthday in March if there would be a peace at the party. She responded of course and was shocked that I would ask. I said well you said you were done with me on facebook. She said she needs to keep a distance from me for her own emotional health. I said I need to keep a distance from her for my own emotional health. She has a tendancy to drill people with questions. So the next time I am around her, she may 'drill me with questions.' I really don't want to answer any of her questions especially that are personal. How do I deal with this type of person? Thanks, Jen
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

First try to brush them off saying " Oh, I don't want to think about all of that stuff right now...let's just relax and try to have a good time.

If she persists, you could try turning the questions back on her...getting her to talk about herself instead of answering about yourself. "Oh, my life's so dull right now...just work and the baby---but tell me about your .......

If she still doesn't get the hint, just change the subject abruptly to something neutral like a TV show or something cute your son did.

Try not to get cornered with her...stay around other people, who will hopefully add some distraction to get her off the 1000 questions track.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I can do that. My one sisterinlaw runs a daycare that is stressful. when we ask her about it. she says, "i don't want to talk about it." Do you think I can just say that? Kim may say to me, "so how are you and anthony getting along?" i really don't want to say anything good or bad. we are getting along great right now, but i don't want kim to get involved in anyway. can i simply say, "i don't want to talk about it" that may come off bad though. ------ since she said she is done with me on facebook, a big part of me feels like I am done with her and don't really have to answer her questions---- i don't want to be rude, but i don't want to be around her. trust me i will avoid her, just i know her and i know she will corner me if i'm close to her. what do you think? thanks, Jen
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.
First off, if she corners you, you always have the option of saying "excuse me, I think I hear the baby (or some other excuse). You can of course say "I don't want to talk about it" but she may interpret that as meaning "it's bad, so I don't want to talk about it". Your other options are a polite social lie and quickly going into a question of your own, for example "He is just the best husband!...and how are things going for you?"Remember that being asked a question doesn't mean you are obligated to answer it...or answer it truthfully. Say something positive about the topic she questions you on, and then change the subject. People who ask that many questions are digging for dirt--if you stay all super-positive, she'll realize she won't get anywhere.
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