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Ask Suzanne Your Own Question
Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
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ASK SUZANNE, My husband put me down today. I notice he does

Resolved Question:

ASK SUZANNE, My husband put me down today. I notice he does this and it bothers me. My son looks just like me. He also makes one of the same expressions I make. I think he is going to be just like me. I said to my husband, I think he is going to be just like me. My husband responded, oh no, I hope not. I don't think I can handle it if he's like you. I was a little mad. I think I turned out good. I'm smart, athletic, good worker, good person etc. Anthony's thing is to always undercut me. It bothers me. How can I fix this. Thanks, Jen
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

This is one of those times when a sense of humor can be really, really helpful...

Since the only person you can actually change is you...think of ways to change your reactions to his digs. If you answer with a snappy comeback, it will diffuse the tension, and your feelings won't get so easily hurt. Obviously Anthony thinks you're a good person too....that's why he married you. You could remind him that he picked his son's mother (you), and compliment him on his good taste!

You did turn out good!!! This sounds like one of those stupid comments men sometimes make without thinking. Don't let his comments make you feel insecure--just give him a playful verbal jab right back. The best way to diffuse a potentially hurtful situation like this is to keep things light.

Anthony has stuck with you through thick and thin...I think this was just an offhand comment that he probably thought would be funny, but it fell flat. Brush this one off, and be ready with a quick comeback next time.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Can you help me come up with a good come back?
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.
Hopefully, he'll never say that again...but, just in case, you could say (and tone is very important when you say it, so things stay light and don't escalate) "Oh, you mean you couldn't stand if if he turned out gorgeous, smart and talented like me? Yeah, I can see what a hardship that would be...." [Said with a smile and a teasing voice]
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