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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5839
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate: That would be a difficult thing - dealing with those

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That would be a difficult thing - dealing with those kinds of issues with your therapy clients. For one, it would be so much more likely to happen in your profession that a client develops romantic feelings for you; (2) I think you would have to be careful how you handle it, since the client is probably already having issues – it could devastate them. Like, if someone had attachment. abandonment issues, and then felt rejected by their trusted therapist, wow. But it would be worse for them to let anything go on. Yikes; (3) with some therapists who have their own issues, and I imagine with some that are generally okay with boundaries, it might be tempting or they might develop romantic feelings as well, right? People make bad choices in beginning relationships all the time – but that kind of judgment could get them without their license, sued, and devastating their client and their own family, if they have one. WOW. Way risky. It’s a surprise anyone is willing to have clients of the opposite sex, really. I don’t know how people can be therapists anyway. Takes a special kind of person!
You made some suggestions about when I have felt like cutting. It’s so weird, having never done it, that I feel so sure it would provide relief. I did bang on my drum here a bit — but I don’t have a whole drum set here – just a snare drum. Luckily, nobody was in the office next door, either. But that didn’t help much. Cutting up the legal pad DID help, though.
I am nervous for my appointment with Linda this evening. Kind of looking forward to it, as last time went well and I think maybe we can make some progress or get some relief, but anxious because I suspect it will be difficult and upsetting. Oh well. As my dad always says: “no pain, no gain.”
I have been in and out of client meetings all day, and in between, I have been trying to finish a rather difficult bankruptcy that must be filed today (just filed it). N and J are driving me insane. They keep coming in and out of my office and are making so much noise. I finally had to close my door, tell them to leave me alone, and to stop slamming things. I know I am just irritable, but it is driving me batty!! Uggh.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.


It's ok to be nervous before your appointment with Linda. It's actually a good sign. It means that you are confronting your feelings and getting to the issues that bother you the most. I'd be worried if you went in there feeling like it's no big deal. That would tell me that you are not working on your issues at all. It doesn't necessarily have to be painful to be beneficial to you. You can gain insight or talk through something that before bothered you. And Linda is there to help you and she does care about you. Keeping those things in mind can help.

You really think this stuff through well! Being a therapist is risky, but it is also beneficial in that you can usually see when a person you are working with is starting to have issues pretty easily. The risk is still there, but most clients are pretty obvious (and therapists see a little deeper) so it's not a surprise when the person is having trouble in their relationship with the therapist. And all therapists (I hope!) have been trained on how to deal with transference so working it out in therapy is a must.

Let me know how it goes tonight. Also, just to let you know, I will be away from my computer during regular times from this Sunday May 13th to Wednesday May 16th. I will try to check in, but I'm not sure I'll have access to internet (out of town trip). I didn't want you to write and not be able to get a quick answer. The place I am going hopefully has access. I plan on checking in during the morning and at night on JA if I can get the computer to work!


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