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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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I trying to get some clear information about the possibility

Resolved Question:

Hi. I trying to get some clear information about the possibility that I may have BPD. I know you cannot dx something like that on-line but please, just a little insight. I am reading the angry heart as it just screamed out to me. I am filled with this uncontrollable and unpredictable rage. I am in a relationship with someone I adore but do everything to destryo it. I feel like a big fake, like if everyone around me who thinks I a so wonderful really knew me the would see just how awful I am. I had a bad childhood but who didn't? I read about Samual and think what he went through was awful-who am I to complain? I read some of the characteristics and think doesn't everyone feel this way at some time in their lives?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Jean replied 5 years ago.
Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello this is Jean I am available to assist you if I can

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It's all relative right- Samual had his thing- we have ours. Anger and range can manifest from many things- I think often times hurts from way back that never healed.

Customer:

did you read my post?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Yes I read your post. The book you are reading sounds like it speaks to you and you are listening closely.

Customer:

Sorry about that, I did not consider the delay. Yes, this book seem to be speaking to me. Aside from scaring me a great deal I am not liking how it has me feeling inside. This mental roller coaster has me thinking there could be something there. How do you go about determining if someone has BPD?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I'm quite sure most of us qualify for some sort of diagnosis some of the time. A person diagnosed with Borderline Personaltiy Disorder often does have significant conflict in relationships, wanting the closeness, but relationships being very difficult. Clients I have worked with -with BPD typically have a history of self harm such as cutting, frequent suicidal statements etc.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

A person with BPD often times suffered abuse, neglect, didn't feel validated by a caregiver. That person on some level expects defeat and rejection and thus creates it.

Customer:

Okay, I suppose I can tell you since I do not know you and will never see you.... I have a history of cutting. I have not done anything like that for a long time. I am familiar with some of the theories behind cutting but it is what it is and like I said, I have not done that for a long time. I have been dealing with a lot of stress and in some ways feel as though my relationship with my partner has suffered. I just thought my rage was because of the pressures of my job. In November I did try to commit suicide because at that time I just could not take anymore. Aside from that, I often think suicide would be easier. I know, chicken shit.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Thank you for sharing that. The bpd client is often the client that comes into my office mistrusting, suspicious, seemingly predicting another rejection. Talking to someone more about this may help you clarify what you are dealing with. Posting this message is a step towards being more open and honest about your struggles with somone else. There is good treatment out there.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I'm careful in diagnosing simply because, like I said, we all have our life challenges, struggles, and stress. A common reason we give a diagnosis is to define the best treatment protocol. Anger and rage is a whole lot of hurt, sadness, loss, maybe trauma that spins around and is triggered by "who knows what" right?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

With the symptoms you describe we often teach clients emotion regulation skills. DBT- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is utilized.

Customer:

I have a therapist who is actually wonderful. But you know, my head and all my thoughts get in the way of just opening up. I think if she knew who I really was she would think I am nuts which is ironic because right now I am feeling pretty nuts! You know, I just want to be normal. I want to be the way I used to be. I am pretty sure I was happy or at least not miserable like now. I want this rage inside to go away and I really, really want to stop hurting the person I love.

Customer:

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy-I have read about this somewhere??? Can you tell me more?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Interesting about therapy huh- how one continues to "look a certain way" even when it's safe to be honest and open. You may really benefit from opening up more if you feel comfortable with your therapist. You are in a good place. It's hard work but it does pay off. DBT is a structured educational program that teaches problem solving, conflict resolution, using one's "wise" mind vs. emotional mind, mindfullness skills, etc.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_skills_list.html here is a link to check out a bit more info. re: dbt.

Customer:

That's scarey. You were reading my mind.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Us "old" therapists tend to do that :)- I love it.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You are somone struggling with "stuff" it's called the human condition. I do hear you in a place to begin really taking a better look at this. Being open and honest with your therapist will pay off.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I use the dbt for all types of dx. They are great skills for everyday challenges. Not too many of us were taught these things growing up. How great it would be if they taught more of that in school vs. having to learn the hard way in "life" school.

Customer:

Yeah. Thank you very much. Teri.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I commend you for the step you took tonight. You are welcome Teri- please hit green accept so I can get credit- Jean

Jean and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Jean replied 5 years ago.
Hope this message finds you having a good day. Let me know if I can assist you again. Jean